happy new year!

ah yes... a new year. new years come with resolutions, plans, goals, and reflections about the past year. it has never been a habit of mine to make resolutions because i know myself well enough and i'm pretty sure that i can't stick to it for 365 days! hehe:) so why bother, right? i don't wanna say "i'll quit smoking this year" or "i'll stop backstabbing b!tches who deserve it" because tis likely that by february, i will have forgotten that resolution. hehe:) so good luck to the people who have resolutions. :) i dotn have plans for the year 2009 yet. but i'd have to say that one of my goals is to pass my subjects this sem and be an official sophomore next SY. hehe:) and make money, maybe get a part time job teaching, or selling flesh... haha! but those two would be more like hopes, rather than goals. hehe:) too much of it is out of my hands-- like vacant positions for the teaching spot i want, or the so-called-teacher-factor of my subjects. i dunno. but then self-improvement is what i should be aiming for right? so there! i want to improve my acads and finances. and oh, i wanna make friends! i feel like i've neglected my family, my KE family, viada peeps, HS chums, and others, recently. i need to make amends somehow. its gonna be tough though, because i have a lot of things lined up for january that will require my full attention. but i guess it wont hurt to put "making friends" as my third goal. :) reflections??? there should be much. but my brain is not in the reflective mode. its such a tragedy. i feel like so much has happened to me in the year 2008 that to close this chapter of my life without any reflections would be sad, wrong and stupid. and its irritating. so wait... i'll force myself... i got into lawskool! the tanya of 2007 or the tanya from any other year before 2008 would have thought that i would not bite into something so heavy, worldly, or into such a huge responsibility. i duuno. some part of me just said that it had to be done. i made new friends in lawskool! lingaw na people and weird assortment of personalities. kewl! at nagkaroon ako ng crushes ulit! haha! after years of feeling dead! haha! i joined another sorority. kala ko dati di ko na gagawin kasi ayokong gawin para di mahati yung loyalty ko. but i did it. and i did sooo much. so many things i did not even think i'd do, or sacrifice all that i did. god, i took it all. i know i realized much during the initiation process, and much of it, i'll keep to myself. :) i got asthma before 2008 ended! haha! erm... so maybe i'll make a resolution this year... and that is to try to quit smoking for good! and never seek refuge from a cigarette like you would look for cheap thrills from a lover on the side... hehe! whatever yaya, ur such a loser! :) haha! and maybe i'll try to stop saying chorbah, and instead excert more effort in choosing the right words and finishing my sentences. noh?

m tired. basta! onward to the future! cheers!
peace and love! ciao!
god bless us all!

mankeyn video!

this is a video of my mangkin iya! hehe:)
sa waly pagpabor-pabor, kyoot jud siya! hehe:)
and i say that because not all babies are cute.
hehe:)

peace!

ay uie!

badtrip. i was diagnosed with asthma today. i've had this cough since the last night of initiation. i was sick that time too. good thing the fever went away. too bad, the cough did not. i might've gotten worse actually. now, i have to have my inhaler at all times. haay. and the kalagot part is the fact that poor kaayo akong body coordination... do ko magawa ng tama yung inhaler... grr.

good luck to me.

god bless you this season... and always. its nice to hear/read that people went home to their respective provinces, had fun with family and celebrated Christmas blahblablah... you know? ayos lang. i cant even go out tonight. my super kabarkada from the states is here and i cant go out. its the last night of my pinsan here in davao, kasi uuwi na siya sa cebu tomorrow. and the whole time she was here, di kami nagkita. tapos tonight, di ako makalabas. bad.

m happy that ur not stuck at home because of your poor health. kunsabagay, i need this time to rest. thank God for this opportunity.

ciao!

u think you can winner-winner me?!

i was at church nung 24... tapos may dalawang teens na naguusap. (yung tipong teens na naka gel ate may emo na hairstyle tapos fitted yung shirt... alam mo na yun!) i did not really listen to their convo, but suddenly i heard one of them say "WHO CARES?!" sabay walk-out... tapos yung isa pasigaw na sinabi "WHO CARES YOU TOO?!"

haha! wala. gusto ko lang ishare... :)

merry christmas...

this holiday season is something i wanted for the past few years. i have always wanted a quiet christmas, one that was not so stressful or over-rated. i wanted to try celebrating the holidays quietly, instead of spending it over-eating and putting up with drunken relatives who end up quarreling.

however, this christmas, sad to say was something that i did not quite feel. i was too busy with the initiation process that if feels like i was not prepared nor psyched about the holidays. i failed to get excited that's why it feels like we are just going through the motions- wrapping presents, going to family gatherings, blahblahblah... i guess i just have too much on my plate this time.

i have yonie's wedding to think about. i don't have a dress yet. my brother is away this christmas. the hongkong trip is also coming and i have not yet prepared. i have not packed yet and i have not saved money yet. i thought my mom was going to cancel it since my lola is still in the hospital. she's getting better by the way. we might be able to take her home before the new year, so yeay! :) at least that's one less baggage... but i need to get a driver's license and fix my philhealth papers... and i'm excited about going to school next year, though... haha! parang joke noh? but yeah, i miss my friends. i have not spoken to any of them for a month! and finally, i can be my bossy hambugera self again next year. and oh, i look forward to spending time with my cousins! i have a new pamangkin... that's one less cousin to hang out with, but that also means a new beautiful baby boy is welcomed to the family. (puloy has a son now. congratz gaw!) i look forward to chilling with Kappatids over the break too! ay tskaka yung manila trip with princess pa pala on the third weekend of january... no money na talga ako... :(

hmm.. m not so sure i want this kind of christmas break again next year. i want one with less to think about, less worries, and less chorbah! hehe:) i want one that is simple, full of good times with family and friends. i want the christmas i used to have when i was a kid, because i was not so preoccupied with grown-up stuff that i could still think about the essence or the spirit of christmas.. blahblahblah... yun! alam mo na ginamean ko diba? :) ayt..

happy holidays!
peace and love
xoxo

in re: lola

this is my lola. she's in the hospital right now. she's 89 years old and she had a mild stroke. its not looking to good for my lola. but we are willing to give her the best medical attention that we can afford. that might mean selling the car my brother gave me. hehe:) funny, 'coz i have not driven it much yet, and now we're thinking of selling it. hehe:) but i dont care. i d rather lose the car that i hardly use, than live with the idea that i could have done something for my beloved and super generous lola, but did'nt.

may god be with you lola.

***an email to my brother.

hi kuy!

after a month of errands, public humiliation, physical exhaustion, and more, i was finally accepted to tau mu. kagabi lang acceptance party namin. hehe:) nyway, super fun and life changing experience jud siya. hehe:) super hirap ng initiation! di na ud ko kauli sa balay usahay.

i joined kay i realized that i wanted to. and i dont regret joining. wat details do you want to hear? the halls and walls of ateneo witnessed most of what i did, and they shall remain silent. chorvah! hehe:)

i included a pic of me and my batchmates. the guy on the left, is ruel ladeza, a CPA top notcher. next to him is kristine paras, a daughter of mayor paras of malalag. the girl in the middle is engr. kristine razo. then the tall tisay is bianca bautista, a daughter of congressman bautista of malita. then the guy on the right is mawe de peralta, anak pud ni judge deperalta. and ME! :) hehe:)

ciao!

today, i am no longer slave lusa.

i never thought that i would have felt that way.
i never thought i would feel this way after all that...

the initiation process did get a bit too much. grabeng pressure!! and to think that it was like your in the boiling pot all the time... but the pressure was necessary. i realized that the initiation process was not merely to gain acceptance or admission to the sor, but also to know the self, to overcome fears, inhibitions and weaknesses, and to rise above all the challenges. of course, by complying, you get to prove your determination to join the sor and you get to show them what you are really made of. the process is quite perfect, actually... this initiation was quite humbling. i feel like i have been broken into tiny little pieces during the process and then the sor put me back together as a better person.

batch 2008 B was accepted last night and i was one of them. even though i was weak and performed poorly, they accepted me. i cannot throw that away. i will make them proud. i will not let the time come when they will regret accepting me. (but then, this is not to say i have less love for all that i have loved before. ptbke, diba? :)

but for now, since this is the first day of my return to my old self, i wanna spend it wrapping gifts, joyriding with my dad, then chikka my mom. and later in the hospital with lola. (i hope she gets better.)

god bless!
love and peace!
xoxo

what used to be...

an easy breezy life...
like the sun, the tide and the moon, i will be back soon.
sorry to all the wonderful people i cannot holler to...
may god bless you and me.
love and peace! ciao!

tagum invasion: turista version

an out of town trip shared with a handful of the funnest greatest people in the world, called "brods" for short, is sure to be a blast. we spent the whole day eating, laughing, singing, and anything that kept the mouth busy!

10:30am marvin arrives @ jalibi
apparently, late daw siya nagising... take it from the guy who suggested to move the call time from 10am to 9am... tsk.tsk. makong was about to order food at this time. (but before that, i enjoyed seeing "the illustrado" walking along matina crossing. and i was happy to see that he knew when to get off the jeepney and where to cross the street! haha! peace! lots of first times...)




11:53am panabo terminal
"are we there yet?" has been asked like 58million times at this point! haha! sir val, are we there

11:03am bus moves.. onward to tagum!
ignorante moves begin for us... hehe:) makong's first time to ride the bus. we got lucky coz it was a super new metro shuttle, and it was a lot like a plane, where there were 2 TVs -one by the driver, and another flatscreen in the middle of the bus. they were showing "saving private ryan." there were also buttons above you. one was for the reading light, one was for stopping the bus and the last one, i couldnt quite figure out because it had the drawing of the top half of a person holding a glass... attendant button perhaps? but that's kind of asking for a little too much from metro shuttle right? hehe:)yet? i woke makong up. (some pix of us comfortably bored and making afool out of ourselves in the bus supplied.)

12:00ish lunch @ the rachos'
we were walking on one of the streets of visayan village. then i saw a house with lots of plants and it had a "rainforest feel" to its garden. and i told makong, i liked the house. at akalain mo, yun na pala yung bahay ng brod... hehe:) the house itself is really nice. as in. i like how it guards the master's privacy, because there were many levels, corners, compartments, room, entrances and exits... but it was spacious, airy, bright and it had the "tatak pinoy" feel. there were drift wood installations that had waling-waling paintings all over them. etc... the food? was GREAT! omg. exceptional cook. and i like how there was unending supply, yet the table was not cluttered. their family was also super nice... and lance is a super cute kid. but the brods told him to stay away from me kay mandumug daw ko! haha!

2:31pm "wake up nikki! come here! see you in 10mins."
unlimited beer was being served. we needed nikki. hehe:) so i call my bitch and tell him to join us asap. bagong gising ang lolo mo! y not? masaya ang fiesta the night before... then eyad tell us that there was a doctor who was giving a lecture... and total miscommunication... nobody from our group heard any of it coz we did not understand the instruction. they lang pala, kasi i had an excuse! i went to meet nikki at phoenix. omg! when we got there, nagpalamig kami ni makong sa aircon. and we ended up buying whistle/rattle/magic wands for three of our sisses only ofr 7php each! hehe:) coolness!

2:57pm nikki arrives @ phoenix (locally pronounced as finex)
nikki arrives. nag-una ang tiyan *period* haha!

3:00ish "suffering" begins
like any pleasant party, there was videoke. and like any town, not everyone is gifted with pitch perfect vocal chords... but unlike any other town, people in tagum seem to be gifted with a deaf ear because no one seemed to mind but us! haha! oh yeah, and it was around this time that nikki informed marvin about an "attemped rape" issue. si makong, na nanlibak (sa gurl na gi-attempt kuno ni marvin i chorvah) naka-kaon ug mananap! haha! omg! karma chameleon is that you? :D


4:00ish we start calling ourselves "Buddhists" add karma to the suffering, and we're officially Buddhists! haha! is it in the amazing tagum that we find salvation? maybe... there was a talk about religion and salvation going on inside the house, while we were being self-indulgent, sharing dirty puns, jokes and gossip, and drinking beer. (marvin breaks a bottle of beer around this time...) apparently, this bunch did not want salvation and dcided to end suffering by taking over the videokeeee!!! yeah, we killed it. we tortured everyone. even val, did not stay with us... it was that bad. pati disney songs, walang kawala! haha! i sang britney's baby one more time! but makong sang mandy moore's candy!... among other songs... hehe:)

8:00ish?? we had dinner!
still supper yummy! we met eroll who was supposed to be one of the founders of kombuyahan... ug sa dihang, buzzed na si val! hehe:)

later in the night... we went for a drive around the city. we went to the fair, plants, dry goods etc were being sold. omg! daming tao! and the hormones! i shall forever remember young people kissing in public in tagum. not a scene of everyday life in davao but apparently, in tagum its perfectly normal. perhaps with bulgari inns and the likes spread over such a small city, its not a surprise why: 1. there were so may kids and young people, 2. there was mucho PDA, 3. there were so many cheap-ass beer houses, 4. nikki lied about doing his thesis on KEnan! haha! chix night pala yun! haha!

oh yeah! the creativity of tagum townies also amazed me... there were shops called mugat (something -i forgot the store. i just remembered mugat! hehe), ilaw lighting fixtures, happy chicken, bulgari lodge, and a shirt that said "the amazing tagum" (next to the shirt with mayor uy's face on it) which became the reason for an explosion of laughter, and as it turns out, the mayor's daughter was selling it... but seriously, i want one. i wanna remember this night, i thought...

i also saw the 4or 5-storey christmas tree! it was near the banana que vendors assn... tagum has a big concrete establishment for them by the way... your dumb as a cow if you miss it. its in the town center, fronting the "barbikyuhan" where there is a gathering of bikers of tagum. omg! dami motor! iskeri...

what else??? wide highways that lead to everywhere! they have 2 jalibis, mandarin, a huge mcdo in the middle of town, gaisano, (and a gaisano mall is being constructed), the official house of the governor, the capitol which looked like the one in calamba... magkilam! a dark area in tagum which boasts of its own red light district and a highway in a village and half of mangkilam is owned by nikki.

nga pala! tagum has this three storey place which is perfect for sleezy folks! the first storey is a beer garden, the second storey is for hubo-hubo, and the third floor is a gay bar! perfect isnt it? i forgot the name of the place though... tsk tsk.

the bus ride home? well, we got on LCI! haha! long step down from first class bus to super economy! plus, it was drizzling outside, so uhm... talsik anyone? we wore shades to protect some parts of the face from the water. it was a pleasant ride though. cool breeze, oldies songs, the darkness, the drizzle... pang emote! hehe:)

i did not want to go home yet, because 1. i had so much fun in tagum 2. i had so many causes for worry in davao 3. i have so many responsibilities in davao 4. i wanted to have the sense of anonymity and glorious abandon i get when i am in a different place.

there! i might have forgotten many others, and of course the jokes we shared will not be posted here, but this is post is enough for me to remember the tagum invasion 5 years from now. i could not have asked for better company... salamat! god bless!

anlungkot ko pala. sobra. dati alam ko lang mahirap maging masaya. kanina, pag gisisng ko, narealize ko na anlungkot ko pala. lalo na ngayong parang isaisang umaalis ang mga taong, bukod sa pamilya, ay mahalaga sa akin. isaisa silang nagbabago, at pakiramdam koy napagiwanan na ako. nakakalungkot. kung dati, sobrang lalim ng mga pagkakaibigan namin, ngayon hindi na masyado. isa pa, ang bigat ng pasanin ng pagaaral ko, kakambal ng mga bagay sa pamila ko na ayokong ikwento. lahat ng ito parang nakakabawas sa pagkakilala mo sa sarili mo. madami akong ginagawa na hindi ko naman alam ang kabuluhan. maraming bagay sa buhay ko na di ko kontrolado, at wala akong magawa. nakakapoagod palang maanod nalang, tangay ng agos. ang hirap pa nito, di ako makaiyak. ramdam ko ang pagod, ang takot, ang kawalan ng saya at kawalan ng saysay. masyado na akong nasanay sa lungkot na nakaugat na siya sa akin. mindan di ko pansin, nalulunod na pala ako sa lungkot. kaya siguro ako gumagawa ng mga hakbang na nagpapatunay na may mga bagay pa na kaya kong kontrolin, na kaya kong baguhin, na nagbibigay pag-asa sa akin na maari pala akong makaramdam ng saya. pero ngayon, pagod ako.

how do you say no to a persistence???

i cant. i said yes to my ex because he was persistent and he would not take no for an answer. we ended up in a tangled mess.

these days, i am being (directly/indirectly, intentionally/unintentionally) "pressured" to say yes again. and its hard to say no. and i dont want to find myself in a tangled mess again.

to be or tutubi?

at my age now, i should no longer think about these things... this concern is rather juvenille... but the decision i make could ultimately be life changing... basiclly, i do not know if i should join a frat/soro this time... funny thing is, it could be quite good for me in the long run but you see, i might not even reahc the "long run" if the initiation process is too costly... getz? no?

well, as we all know, amuyong stage is kapoy. its the most demanding part of joining a sorority. and in law school every waking moment is precious. your time, if not used for studying or school survival related endeavors, should be spent on rest and relaxation, and finally, if you can afford it, fun. being an amuyong means you have to be on-call 24/7 for a full month at least. what time will you have for study, rest or fun??? barely any... its costly. it might cost you everything. it might even be the barrier between you and passing and ultimately graduating on time.

i just dont know if im willing to risk it. after all, im perfectly happy with my sorority...

another thing is, i currently hold a key position in the alumni assoc of my soro. it would be rather unethical if i was head of one and amuyong of another. bad timing...

timing is so off this time... i was absent on the day they held interviews. and the time they had oath taking, i had to be at a sorority dinner. on the day they brief you for service, i have a family thing. on the first official day of service, i have to be with brods again on a trip i cannot cancel. if superstition was a factor, i'd say fate is telling me not to do it. the funny thing is, i seem to have soro commitments on days when i could be pledging to the org.

so finally, i guess my decision has already been made for me... and that is not to join this time.

another 1 for my memory box...

i have noticed that everytime i tell people that i have a crush on this guy or that boy, the feeling goes away (and so does the boy). hehe:) but really, i don't understand... how or why... that is why this time, i am not about to tell anybody about papi chulo! no matter how hard it is for me not to! haha! i'll blog about him though... but ill try my hardest not to say his name...

ohmahyghad! last night, a little birdie told me that he did something... (something, i cannot bring myself to say because 1. i was sworn to secrecy, 2. mahalata na kung sino si papi chulo, 3. its really dirty, like if you want dirt on someone, this is kinda it. so there!) and it took me like 5 seconds to get over the shock then i felt super good! hahaha! (God forgive me...) this secret makes me feel good. the school girl crush i have for this person feels good. really good. i like crushing because its never complicated like relationships. and every encounter is like an adventure, a conquest, a chapter in your compilation of memories. not to mention the funny feeling inside you, or the instant shot of joy, is such a sweet thing after torturous classes.

i felt like screaming last night. ayoko na. i remember typing this on my phone last night while i was rather pleasantly buzzed with alcohol... nothing could be more gratifying... m hapi to find out xxx. God, i desire this man. and this knowledge makes him hotter to me...

***lame noh? haha! bite me! haha! kelangan ko nga palang bumawi kasi i made him feel bad the last time we spoke. he just makes me effing torpe! as in super off my game ako! or maybe im rusty, and a sem in lawskool made me so... hehe:)

these days, im feeling messed up. my mood would just change lazy to crazy to apathetic to rebellious. this state of mind is not good for studying in law school. i'm in a funk, phucker! i am in no mood to get nega vibes from you! kasukaon na ko sa mga butang! $#^#$^#@%^$#5!!!! omg! you have no idea how much i want to just explode and disappear from the face of the earth! so get off my back! i dont know what to do. i feel so helpless. i feel trapped and the worst part is, i feel like its all my own doing. i just dont know how to dig myself out of this rabbit hole. i dont want to be where i am now.

gusto ko mudagan! kanang paspas kaayo! kanang layo kaayo! kanang wala na makaila sa ko! kanang mabiyaan na nako tanan! punyetah! lami mudagan! pareho kang forest gump! nidagan siya, natangtang iyang braces nga wlay buot! iyang braces na tama unta, pero mali! mali! mali kay didli siya kadagan! gusto nako mudagan sama nbi forest gump! nidagan siya hantud sa gibungot na ang buang! hangtud sa nagsawa siya, gikapoy siya. niundang lang siya tong trip na niya! gusto nako mudagan pareho niya! kay samtang gadagan siya, nawala na ang tibuok kalibutan. wala na. tanan buang na makakapoy sa tao samtang galingkod wala niya. ang kakapoy lang sa lawas sa pagdagan. walay kakapoy sa panghunahuna.

kapoyah ko diri kay dili ko kaginhawa. its a constant battle between choosing what makes me happy but is not always the "right" thing to do, and choosing that which is "right" but does not make me blissfully happy. i dunno. whatever yaya!

Celebrity Collage by MyHeritage

MyHeritage: Celebrity Collage - Dynasty - Family pictures

where was i wen i took these pics?

tell me where you think these places are! hehe:)

chicKen and Me

i like chicken. i miss eating chicken. i cant eat chicken because i get chicken-pox-like bumps on my feet and they're effing itchy! but its getting harder and harder to avoid chicken. last saturday was a new low, when it comes to missing chicken.





















i was plesantly buzzed with alcohol. my eye caught the forearm of the guy next to me. it reminded me so much of chicken drumstick. i was about to take a bite out of it. my open mouth was inches away from his arm... then i realized chicken is not good for me... so is he.

so i stopped. and i drank some more.

i was a differnt person, juridical or natural, back then...

pagnakakita ka ng artista, majojologs ka!

davao was flooded with stars last kadayawan.... they were booked in different hotels all over the city.

I was an intern for the city tourisms office and we were doing interviews for press releases in line with the celebration.

In one hotel, during an interview, 4 men (not guys, but men...) walked into the lobby. they were wearing white shirts that fit just right. they looked sooo clean... at habang tinitingnan mo sila filling mo ambangobango nila... ang kulay ng lips nila ay nakacontrast sa kanilang kutis na makinis at maputi. di ma namamalayan na nakanganga ka na... then you feel the drool making its way down your chin, kaya namulat ka sa katotothanan.

in the hoel lobby with less than 20 people, there were sharp intakes of breath followed by whispers. i then saw my classmates rushing to the "stars" to have their picture taken. So then, I decided to follow them...

My friend approached this "man" who lingered in the lobby and asked if she could have a picture with him. he said yes, but never did anything to cooperate. (salamat ha!?) he just kept on txng... haay naku... it was like napahiya niya ang kanyang tagahanga... (man, you just lost a few fans... keep it up and you might just lose your job, man...)

So, kinunan ko na rin sila ng picture, nakatayo na rin siya sa tabi ng artista eh... so they walked away and I was looking at the photos I took... when I looked up, a yummy man was walking papunta sa direction ko... so I asked "pwede magpapicture?" he said "oo. sure." so yeay for me.

I stood beside him kasi nga baka KJ din siya... but nope... Umakbay siya eh... so involuntarily, nanginig ang lola... at slightly nataranta... hehe:) I could not decide which hand I would used to take our picture, so he was very nice and said "ako nalng, d2 na, mas mahaba ito (meaning his arm's reach, of course!) and so I handed him the camera and he pressed the button - all the while, I was bottling my "gggggaaaaahhhhhsssss" and "ssssssyyyyyyyyyeeeeeettttsssss!"

naignoy talaga ako sa isang human being - sa isang lalake for that matter. it was a weird moment for me... kasi I could feel his solid body next to mine. and his arm was around me. and my hand was on his back. and we ad our picture taken, and thye worst part is : i did not know his name... pero ang yummy niya...

wrtting and saying and thingking the word "yummy" and attaching it to some man is weird. ganito ba talaga pag malaki ka na? alam mo na aga ano ang "yummy" in terms of men kahit wal ka pang karanasan sa kanila? parang, alam mo lang kaagad ano ang "yummy" pagmalaki ka na... parang instant mami - yummy!

anyway, going back to my tittle, bakit nga ba nakakajologs ang mga artista? parang all of a sudden, nagmumukha kang tanga, pero ayos lang. it does not seem to matter... pero why are we all of a sudden on jologs mode?

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ella was saying it kanina... and i was thinking that its probably because of two things...

una, kasi bihira mo lang sila makita. pag nakita mo sila, sa TV pa. eh sa TV hindi mo nafifeel na tao sila. Hindi mo sila nahahwakan at hindi mo makita ng buo ang katawan nila. Parang hindi possible na tao sila. Parang taga-ibang mundo sila. Kaya pag nakit mo sila as in sa harapan mo na, parang di ka makapaniwala na siya yun!!! gusto mo na magpalitrato dahil ito na yung one and only chnace mo to prove na tao nga siya at nakita mo pa! naksama mo. at nakausap mo pa! nakasama pa ng isang maladiyos na nilalang ang isang tulad mo sa litrato. Ang litrato/katangahan mo ay isang patunay na tao nga sila.

besides, even if youre not really a fan, interacting with someone famous is always a story of public interest. Kasi kilala sila ng karamihan. People are curious what they people they see on screen do when theyre not on TV. ganado ka magkwento sa mga kakilala mo... kasi yung konting interaction mo tells you what kind of person he or she really is kung wala sila sa screen playing somebody else. We see so much of them in different modes (contrabida, bida, kikay, sexy. atbp.) but we never really know wha they are like as persons. and having your picture taken with them is a once in a lifetime opprtunity.

Another thing, iba kasi pag kasama ka nila... (lalo na pagnakaakbay or nakabeso) kasi feeling mo, reyna ka ng buong mundo. for a second or two you'd think that you are the only person/nobody na inakabyan o hinagkan niya ever. feeling mo ang ganda mo - AS IN!!! Siguro what I'm trying to say is like the Fleur-Bill thing in HP6... "i am beautiful enuf for the two of us." in reverse nga lang kasi, the celebrity is beautiful and famous enough for the two of you. parang feeling mo, nahawa ka rin sa kagandahan at kasikatan niya. haha! :)

and last, fan ka talaga. follower of his accomplishments and works. sinasamba mo ang genius niya... kaya gusto mo na kahit minsan may patunay ka na nagmeet nga ang landas nyo...

so, hala! mag-artista hunting ka na! :)
Posted on 8.24.2005 at 12:14 AM

***haha! an old blog... m on a nostalgia trip... during the days when i wrote this, i never thought i'd enroll myself into lawskool. it was just beyond me those days...

what's a good gurl to do on a friday night???

last effing friday, i went home because people were caught up in their own affairs... as part of my routine when i get home, i turn on the radio while i undress or change clothes... then this dj plays a game on air where listeners are supposed to guess the artist of three songs. it was not that easy though, because the dj played only a second of each song intro and played them too fast, like a total of 3 seconds. but i got it anyway. that's me when i'm dead bored, slightly pissed, and dying to get out... then dj tells me to go get the prize right at that moment, meaning during the show. i did not really care about the prize. i was looking for some thrill or excitement. after all, calling a radio statio is a bit out of character for me.

so i head down to the station. and i made charlen go with me. i was kinda excited actually. i've never had that experience though... 1. i have not won a contest on the radio. 2. it was my second time to call the radio station. 3. i have not been in a dj's booth. 4. i have not seen them at work.

when i get there, there were two guys on air... whn i walk in through the door, one dude says "wow. ur tall!" then after a 2second pause, the other dude says "and she looks like she likes to eat!" and i like gave him an over emphasized "thankyouououo!!!" (my dad laughed at me when i told him the story. where is your loyalty daddy-o?! :P)

so i stayed till they finished the show. i felt rather objectified, like a little labrat. but whatever. namangha, naignoy and nalingaw na ko. hehe:) i kinda forgot about the effing friday i had that time.

when the show ended, they decided to give me a station lanyard... but the dj forgot that he did not have it with him. so they asked me to come back. i told fugly about it and he said he wantd to come with me when i went to the station. we agreed to go back today but di kami natuloy... i thought it was alanganin for him eh... it would have been coolness though. but i later realized that the dj who promised me the lanyard was not on board, so ayos lang. it seems, we did not really miss much.

***sorry mike.

so long! farewell! i need to say goodbye--

i am so not good with goodbyes. when my big bro was leaving, i did not want to say goodbye. goodbyes, i think, are for people who shall never cross paths again. i and my bro, i know, will meet again. see you soon bro! ingat!

saan 'toh?

try to guess where i was whe n i took these pics! hehe:) no prizes though... just bragging rights...

funny. haha.

i found this pic as a comment on one of my friends' pages in friendster... i think its from myhotcomments.com. i jut thought it was funny when i first saw it. haha!

today, i---

1. realized that i dont dislike "her" (meaning one of the people na nalibak for being lisod sakyan). her person was not always the recipient of our left over rage from class, that's why she did not merit any aliases yet... hopefully she does not. :) this morning, while drinking coffee, i realized that she was not so bad. i have found a different brand of respect for her.

2. realized that i wont be going to up, at all today, and my classes tonight wont be a killer, so instead, i will go to LTO to take the exams for my license... hehe:) i know, it's long overdue, as CArlylette is here but my license is not. oh well, at least my father can lend it to someone once in a while. i have a problem thoug, i have forgotten how to drive! hahaha!

3. realized that lack of loyalty is a sure sign of selfishness...

4. realized that i need something to shatter the fake peace that i have right now. everything seems pretty calm but its not. i need to break out from this suffocating false sense of zen! its like being trapped in a glass bottle. what is inside you feels like going crazy and just being loose! and what is outside the bottle is chaos. there is a false sense of peace created by the walls/bottle/glass that surrounds you. i need something to destabilize this state i'm in so i can break free.

5. realized that to be a pimp, you have to be a bithc first... thus, i need big pimpin' from my bitches! haha! basically, fugly bitch is encouraging me to stop being a maria-clara-era, go with the flow and bitch. sounds too much like a man thing huh??? but whatever... i'm bored.

you see---

the thing is:

they say that verbose people tend to be shallow, or that their depth is quite visible through the surface. this is not always true, as i learned when i was growing. i am quite loud and talkative. but nobody really understands me. nobody really knows me. people do not really know what i think. i somehow take pride in being a good actress, because i sometimes feel like i can fool the world. people think they figured me out, and that i am this or that. but no, not really. i was, and still am, acting. but this gift is also a curse. for no one really knows me, and that could be my life's greatest tragedy.

*** charmus ginamus uyap!

what would you do???

what if you heard someone say something bad about a friend???

i would choose honesty... because only true friends can be cruelly honest.

what if your friend asked you for an honest opinion and what you have to say is not the most pleasant thing to hear???

i would still serve honesty... because my friend needs to be served some honesty.

what if honesty hurts???

i would still choose to serve honesty... because not all things in life are pleasant. some good things in life come with a price... and like love, happiness, or a vaccine, pain must come with it.

effing passion and obfuscation...

so i got this stupid muffin for a classmate1. a guy friend who was rather close to me/us last sem. i know his bday was last week but i did not see him that time. so when i was in manila, i decided to get him something. i also got a muffin for my other classmate2 whose bday is in the same week as his. when i finally showed up for school yesterday, i gave classmate2 his muffin. yadda-yadda-yadda. but suddenly, i had second thoughts about giving classmate1 his stupid muffin. but i wrestled my instincts and decided to go up to him at the end of class to give him the stupid muffin. punyetah, ulaw gud. pero whatever. i brought it with me na eh. and he was there. and we are/were friends. there's nothing wrong with that. pero classmate1 reacted in a way that made the whole sitch more awkward and embarrassing for me. pashy-shy pa xa. saying in a loud voice "ah laina uie. grabe na man sad na. maulaw man sad ta. blah-blah-blah" and he was looking around at the other people around us who did not really give a rat's ass... and he was moving away from me and leaning against the door. effing irritating na ka-OA-han. and all that time, i was apologizing for handing him the stupid token late and saying sorry that it's bahaw na... whatever. i hated his reaction. it reaeaeaealllllly ticked me off. and i dont know what came over me but in a heartbeat, my mood changed. i was angry. furious even. i was angry enough to say "kung ayaw mo tanggapin, di wag!" and i walked away. i did not hand him the stupid muffin. i did not even look at his face.

there! another encounter with passion and obfuscation. i acted irrationally. i used to be in better control of my anger, as i used to have outputs i.e., destruction, violence, art, music, etc... but now, i dont. i am no longer zen. i need to process this and find my center, and be in control of myself like who/how i was before.

i know i need to adjust to the changes. i need to find my zone. there is a lot going on in my head and around me. i am in such a weird place right now, mentally and emotionally that it makes me unstable.

and this instability might have just cost me a friend. and that is not worth it.

***i am sorry for what i did. i hope that passion and obfuscation may be appreciated as a mitigating circumstance when i apologize to him later.

reality check...

haay. i was wishing i would not go back to davao anymore. bad noh? haay...

classes (or may be referred to as slow and painful way to kill yourself) start again tomorrow. i have to read so much. i have to memorize so much. yeah, i know i have plenty of catching up to do and i can hear you responsible geekies blaming me for missing classes in exchange for shopping and soaking in manila. whatever major loser. at least i enjoyed myself and lived for 4 short days. hehe:) i forgot everything while i was there. i forgot i had school so i have not read much.

i am seriously thinking of moving to manila to work and study... well, at least i have a few more months to decide... the sooner i transfer, the wiser. but i have to plan everything... perhaps the most important consideration for me is the fact that there are some people rooted in dvao that i cannot leave behind... i have to give this much thought...

i'll sleep na. i will wake up early bukas to read, read, read!!! i dont want to be like moschular's mr.AYER... nobody wants for taht kind of booboo to happen. i hope we all do better this sem.

ghaa! i cnat even help it.. the pressure, the anticipation of somthing terrible happening to me in class is already here!!! daily, i gotta live with the pressure and this looming feeling. for everyday that i wake up in davao, i have this baggage. haay. sige lang... isokey. i need an attitude adjustment anyway... and it took an encounter with daryl in manila for me to realize that.. (and that's another story...)

funny how things work out sometimes...

much to the surprise of the viada royal family, Listik (alias not supplied by author) stomps thru the door in a long navy blue jacket. i'm happy to note that her make-up has not changed, as it is still the same frosted/metallic orange. her fierceness, apparently, has not diminished. good for her, i say. but her appearance surely sparked some intrigue... whispers and meaningful glances accompanied her entrance.... she was not supposed to be back. her absence meant one less... uhm... person in viada.

she sat on the seat she used to occupy last semester. then she was told someone has already occupied that seat since her absence.

"sus uie! dito nalang. bakit man pala?! i dont want to sit in da chairs na iba der nah..." said Listik. her nose wrinkled as she said this to put emphasis on her dislike to change seats. perhaps this show of guts was enough to convince the favorite mutya ng viada to sit next to her...

the boys who sat behind her did not seem too pleased to have her sitting in front of them. a mr. scurvy pervy even went as far as saying "ayos na unta kaayo to gahapon kay gwapa ang naglingkod sa atbang..."

ouch... that was a little harsh, mr scurvy pervy... but nonetheless, listik was unstoppable. she did what she wanted and the rest stayed out of her way. perhaps, trying to stay out of her imaginary runway...

a few minutes passed... people have gotten over her return...

then Garapon (this alias not supplied by author), a cute orient, walks in with malibu barbie and little miss nice. Garapon looks at her for a couple of seconds, gives a little nod. and voila! listik and her pal were evicted... without words, take note. that's how queen bees get what they want, i heard.

looks like there is someone else worthy of note invading listik's little world.... Hell kept her distance from Listik all this time, to keep the peace. but it looks like the entry of new folks will destabilize the peceful system...

viada royalty, watch out. a new queen has come to town...


xoxo,
chismax chix


***this is not real. ideas were merely borrowed and spun together. this is a lot like eminem's "8mile" or mariah's "glitter" which are poorly written fiction based on their lives. the characters are not real, nor is it the author's wish insult, defame or make fun of, any of real people who may have similarities with the characters. simply put: its not my fault kung madumi isip mo at binahiran mo ng mailsya ang sinulat ko! adik ka!

bite me.
hahahahaha!!!

pahabol sa sem break

yeah! looking forward to leaving davao! i'll be in manila from thursday to sunday!

i can buy the books i need there! laging out of stock dito sa davao eh...

i can get away from school, from terrorizing profs, from all the drama of childish feeling-queen bees, and from papi chulo. i can clear my mind before plunging head first into the second semester!

i can eat more gonuts! haha!

i can shop a bit... but with the little money that i have, good luck to me. hehe:)

i can meet my brods and sisses there! and my other friends... i miss them nah! very badly...

but mostly, i'm looking forward to being in the city i really miss. i miss it soooo much that my insides hurt everytime i think about it. i daresay, i long for it like a long for "the lover" (whoever this person is, i shall not say. hehe).

i have so many memories there and i have associated may thoughts and realizations with the place that i feel like its such a huge part of me. the city and i shared may secrets, and he has seen me grow as a person. many of the memories and realizations shall not be found here, on this page, for i wish to keep them to myself. they are for me and for the people i actually shared them with. i shall keep all i have for that city, in my heart.

writing down the fact that i felt this nostalgia, shall be enough to remind me of all the memories i locked away.

everytime i go to manila, i am reminded of all that i gave up, of how much i changed and grew, of the many things that i learned, of some of the excitement, of a few bittersweet memories, and i am given a taste of all that again. i lurve my hometown, but there shall be no other city that touched me the same way.

nikki's plot to rule the world

last sunday, i saw this kid running around the farm. i thought omg! he looks a lot like nikkiboytisoy! then i thought of showing nikki that he has lookalikes of all ages! hahaha! di ka lang pang-artista, pang -bata pa! hahaha!


here are pics of the kid. you be the judge kung magkamukha sila! too bad i dont have a photo of nikki... but you can see his effing face (in all angles and with all the kadramahan sa life) at publicmoves.blogspot.com by the way, as soon as i pointed the cam at the kid, his hand automatically framed his face! abah! mukhang tinuruan na ni nikki! :) hijo, sinong tatay mo? hehe:)

nyway... spoke to nikki last night, ug sa dihang daghan siya ug kanawong! pati yung coverboy/centerfold ng isang sexy mag for gays! (nikki, may future ka bilang pantasya ng bading!) hahaha! that is all part of his plot to rule the world. my third bitch wants to populate the world with little nikkis! hahaha!

lozer u?

ghaaa! kainis! nobody wanted to drink with me today. i txtd the usual kaladkarin folks i know, and they did not reply or turned me down, outright. fine... whatever.

kainis. i'm in an odd place right now. my closest guy cousin is gettin married, and is actually a few months away from being an official daddy. my partner in crime in college is also getting married early next year! kampanerang kubitch is going away next year for his scholarship in the US. soulja boi is busy working and we no longer have common free times. my other homies are away, living, studying or woirking in a diferent zipcode. it just feels like everybody is leaving the rally point and moving on. i know, sux to be me right now.

then goody-two-shoos reminded me i'll be super busy a few days from now, so, there! that is the only upside i could find to this whole thing.

***and yeah, naisip kong an invitation for tagay at 3pm is a bit early, since we are no longer in college... perhaps that's why i got a reply from my kaladkarin crew, just now. mts now nah!

blinditem...

so who is this gurlilette who is getting married early next year?? this gurlilette is said to look like an artista with the initials C. P. and is fine like aphrodite... the man she's going to marry is known to many with the title "kuya" as a show of respect for seniority... tell me who you think it is!

***to gurlilette: i know i said i would'nt say anything but i could'nt help it. m just super happy for you. xoxo biatch.

hate post re:kampanerang kubitchie

this trio was supposed to show up at T's party last sunday. but one of the bitchies did not go...

SPOTTED: fugly boy alone at T's party. fugly boy ended up bored. and as he was reaching the peaks of his boredom, a mangy mutt took pitty on the lonely fugly boy and decided to hang out with him. has fugly boy found a new claim to fame for being one with the animals?

careful mr. caterer, you dont want this fugly boy to unleash the "kuya kim" within...
so where was the other bitchie? in agusan!!! this little bitchie went to the graveyard... i hope you had fun kampanerang kubitch... coz u owe us beer for ditchng... hehe:)
next time, tell us waaay ahead of time if you cant go to an invite. :)

75R

yes, i have passed my crim1. pasang awa! 75R! haha! :) at least i passed... i wont have to take crim1 again next year. i hope. at lest the chances of me waiving the year, is lessened. gosh. this is the first time i got a grade which was undeniably raised by the teacher. in school, a grade of 75 is good because you passed and earned the 75 fair and square. getting a 75R means the teacher reconsidered your actual grade and raised it to 75.

God, salamat.

i could not help laughing out loud by myself at the corridors of D-hall. it was funny. i was happy. it was better than what i expected.

now, i only have to worry about consti1 and of course, study my eyes out for next sem.

ahatemahbitchiesraht now...

i told them about my new kras nicely aliased "papi chulo." mah bitchies (meaning my homo and my homie) encouraged me to whore it up. of course, the maria clara side of me is stopping me. pero wa na! nagkabuang na ko ug pugong sa mga nangabugto sa akong mga sinina! haha! but seriously, i want him to work hard for it. i dont want him to hide his intentions, sexual or otherwise. or maybe its not hidden and i'm just dense. :) either way, my decision is: di muna. :) ienjoy ko muna yung little things that make me kilig... :D i miss the kilig factor. hehe:) and i kinda like the guilt from stalking, watching and drooling over him from afar. maybe i'm making up excuses or in denial. but i don't think so. i dont want to complicate things yet. and to be his "friendly beneficiary" is not a very good idea because we are moving around in a very small circle. its cramped enough as it is and it cannot accommodate complications. so i cant. i'll have to play it cool and do it the old fashioned way.

the thing is, when i talk about my crushes, or when i finally acknowledge that i like them, i cant play it cool! haha! whattalozer. i'm already torpe for papi chulo as it is. he is just so effing hot. and i feel like i cant emphasize it enough. so i keep saying it. and i feel like i'm setting myself up for a heartbreak with this one. as much as i'd like to know him better, i'm quite comfy with the distance we have. he is just... haay nalang.

they say, the brain is the sexiest organ. he is smart. sexy smart. manly smart. makalanay smart! haha! he is passionate and lazy. crazy when he wants to be. ahd the fact that he knows himself well is soooo sexy, for me.lets not even talk about him physically..

ok. enough. i've drooled over him a bit too much. i'm going to stop. my bitchies are tired of me talking about papi chulo.

so bite me!

48 Laws of Power (grabbed this from foofy's blog)

Law 1

Never Outshine the Master

Always make those above you feel comfortably superior. In your desire to please or impress them, do not go too far in displaying your talents or you might accomplish the opposite – inspire fear and insecurity. Make your masters appear more brilliant than they are and you will attain the heights of power.

Law 2

Never put too Much Trust in Friends, Learn how to use Enemies

Be wary of friends-they will betray you more quickly, for they are easily aroused to envy. They also become spoiled and tyrannical. But hire a former enemy and he will be more loyal than a friend, because he has more to prove. In fact, you have more to fear from friends than from enemies. If you have no enemies, find a way to make them.

Law 3

Conceal your Intentions

Keep people off-balance and in the dark by never revealing the purpose behind your actions. If they have no clue what you are up to, they cannot prepare a defense. Guide them far enough down the wrong path, envelope them in enough smoke, and by the time they realize your intentions, it will be too late.

Law 4

Always Say Less than Necessary

When you are trying to impress people with words, the more you say, the more common you appear, and the less in control. Even if you are saying something banal, it will seem original if you make it vague, open-ended, and sphinxlike. Powerful people impress and intimidate by saying less. The more you say, the more likely you are to say something foolish.

Law 5

So Much Depends on Reputation – Guard it with your Life

Reputation is the cornerstone of power. Through reputation alone you can intimidate and win; once you slip, however, you are vulnerable, and will be attacked on all sides. Make your reputation unassailable. Always be alert to potential attacks and thwart them before they happen. Meanwhile, learn to destroy your enemies by opening holes in their own reputations. Then stand aside and let public opinion hang them.

Law 6

Court Attention at all Cost

Everything is judged by its appearance; what is unseen counts for nothing. Never let yourself get lost in the crowd, then, or buried in oblivion. Stand out. Be conspicuous, at all cost. Make yourself a magnet of attention by appearing larger, more colorful, more mysterious, than the bland and timid masses.

Law 7

Get others to do the Work for you, but Always Take the Credit

Use the wisdom, knowledge, and legwork of other people to further your own cause. Not only will such assistance save you valuable time and energy, it will give you a godlike aura of efficiency and speed. In the end your helpers will be forgotten and you will be remembered. Never do yourself what others can do for you.

Law 8

Make other People come to you – use Bait if Necessary

When you force the other person to act, you are the one in control. It is always better to make your opponent come to you, abandoning his own plans in the process. Lure him with fabulous gains – then attack. You hold the cards.

Law 9

Win through your Actions, Never through Argument

Any momentary triumph you think gained through argument is really a Pyrrhic victory: The resentment and ill will you stir up is stronger and lasts longer than any momentary change of opinion. It is much more powerful to get others to agree with you through your actions, without saying a word. Demonstrate, do not explicate.

Law 10

Infection: Avoid the Unhappy and Unlucky

You can die from someone else’s misery – emotional states are as infectious as disease. You may feel you are helping the drowning man but you are only precipitating your own disaster. The unfortunate sometimes draw misfortune on themselves; they will also draw it on you. Associate with the happy and fortunate instead.

Law 11

Learn to Keep People Dependent on You

To maintain your independence you must always be needed and wanted. The more you are relied on, the more freedom you have. Make people depend on you for their happiness and prosperity and you have nothing to fear. Never teach them enough so that they can do without you.

Law 12

Use Selective Honesty and Generosity to Disarm your Victim

One sincere and honest move will cover over dozens of dishonest ones. Open-hearted gestures of honesty and generosity bring down the guard of even the most suspicious people. Once your selective honesty opens a hole in their armor, you can deceive and manipulate them at will. A timely gift – a Trojan horse – will serve the same purpose.

Law 13

When Asking for Help, Appeal to People’s Self-Interest,

Never to their Mercy or Gratitude

If you need to turn to an ally for help, do not bother to remind him of your past assistance and good deeds. He will find a way to ignore you. Instead, uncover something in your request, or in your alliance with him, that will benefit him, and emphasize it out of all proportion. He will respond enthusiastically when he sees something to be gained for himself.

Law 14

Pose as a Friend, Work as a Spy

Knowing about your rival is critical. Use spies to gather valuable information that will keep you a step ahead. Better still: Play the spy yourself. In polite social encounters, learn to probe. Ask indirect questions to get people to reveal their weaknesses and intentions. There is no occasion that is not an opportunity for artful spying.

Law 15

Crush your Enemy Totally

All great leaders since Moses have known that a feared enemy must be crushed completely. (Sometimes they have learned this the hard way.) If one ember is left alight, no matter how dimly it smolders, a fire will eventually break out. More is lost through stopping halfway than through total annihilation: The enemy will recover, and will seek revenge. Crush him, not only in body but in spirit.

Law 16

Use Absence to Increase Respect and Honor

Too much circulation makes the price go down: The more you are seen and heard from, the more common you appear. If you are already established in a group, temporary withdrawal from it will make you more talked about, even more admired. You must learn when to leave. Create value through scarcity.

Law 17

Keep Others in Suspended Terror: Cultivate an Air of Unpredictability

Humans are creatures of habit with an insatiable need to see familiarity in other people’s actions. Your predictability gives them a sense of control. Turn the tables: Be deliberately unpredictable. Behavior that seems to have no consistency or purpose will keep them off-balance, and they will wear themselves out trying to explain your moves. Taken to an extreme, this strategy can intimidate and terrorize.

Law 18

Do Not Build Fortresses to Protect Yourself – Isolation is Dangerous

The world is dangerous and enemies are everywhere – everyone has to protect themselves. A fortress seems the safest. But isolation exposes you to more dangers than it protects you from – it cuts you off from valuable information, it makes you conspicuous and an easy target. Better to circulate among people find allies, mingle. You are shielded from your enemies by the crowd.

Law 19

Know Who You’re Dealing with – Do Not Offend the Wrong Person

There are many different kinds of people in the world, and you can never assume that everyone will react to your strategies in the same way. Deceive or outmaneuver some people and they will spend the rest of their lives seeking revenge. They are wolves in lambs’ clothing. Choose your victims and opponents carefully, then – never offend or deceive the wrong person.

Law 20

Do Not Commit to Anyone

It is the fool who always rushes to take sides. Do not commit to any side or cause but yourself. By maintaining your independence, you become the master of others – playing people against one another, making them pursue you.

Law 21

Play a Sucker to Catch a Sucker – Seem Dumber than your Mark

No one likes feeling stupider than the next persons. The trick, is to make your victims feel smart – and not just smart, but smarter than you are. Once convinced of this, they will never suspect that you may have ulterior motives.

Law 22

Use the Surrender Tactic: Transform Weakness into Power

When you are weaker, never fight for honor’s sake; choose surrender instead. Surrender gives you time to recover, time to torment and irritate your conqueror, time to wait for his power to wane. Do not give him the satisfaction of fighting and defeating you – surrender first. By turning the other check you infuriate and unsettle him. Make surrender a tool of power.

Law 23

Concentrate Your Forces

Conserve your forces and energies by keeping them concentrated at their strongest point. You gain more by finding a rich mine and mining it deeper, than by flitting from one shallow mine to another – intensity defeats extensity every time. When looking for sources of power to elevate you, find the one key patron, the fat cow who will give you milk for a long time to come.

Law 24

Play the Perfect Courtier

The perfect courtier thrives in a world where everything revolves around power and political dexterity. He has mastered the art of indirection; he flatters, yields to superiors, and asserts power over others in the mot oblique and graceful manner. Learn and apply the laws of courtiership and there will be no limit to how far you can rise in the court.

Law 25

Re-Create Yourself

Do not accept the roles that society foists on you. Re-create yourself by forging a new identity, one that commands attention and never bores the audience. Be the master of your own image rather than letting others define if for you. Incorporate dramatic devices into your public gestures and actions – your power will be enhanced and your character will seem larger than life.

Law 26

Keep Your Hands Clean

You must seem a paragon of civility and efficiency: Your hands are never soiled by mistakes and nasty deeds. Maintain such a spotless appearance by using others as scapegoats and cat’s-paws to disguise your involvement.

Law 27

Play on People’s Need to Believe to Create a Cultlike Following

People have an overwhelming desire to believe in something. Become the focal point of such desire by offering them a cause, a new faith to follow. Keep your words vague but full of promise; emphasize enthusiasm over rationality and clear thinking. Give your new disciples rituals to perform, ask them to make sacrifices on your behalf. In the absence of organized religion and grand causes, your new belief system will bring you untold power.

Law 28

Enter Action with Boldness

If you are unsure of a course of action, do not attempt it. Your doubts and hesitations will infect your execution. Timidity is dangerous: Better to enter with boldness. Any mistakes you commit through audacity are easily corrected with more audacity. Everyone admires the bold; no one honors the timid.

Law 29

Plan All the Way to the End

The ending is everything. Plan all the way to it, taking into account all the possible consequences, obstacles, and twists of fortune that might reverse your hard work and give the glory to others. By planning to the end you will not be overwhelmed by circumstances and you will know when to stop. Gently guide fortune and help determine the future by thinking far ahead.

Law 30

Make your Accomplishments Seem Effortless

Your actions must seem natural and executed with ease. All the toil and practice that go into them, and also all the clever tricks, must be concealed. When you act, act effortlessly, as if you could do much more. Avoid the temptation of revealing how hard you work – it only raises questions. Teach no one your tricks or they will be used against you.

Law 31

Control the Options: Get Others to Play with the Cards you Deal

The best deceptions are the ones that seem to give the other person a choice: Your victims feel they are in control, but are actually your puppets. Give people options that come out in your favor whichever one they choose. Force them to make choices between the lesser of two evils, both of which serve your purpose. Put them on the horns of a dilemma: They are gored wherever they turn.

Law 32

Play to People’s Fantasies

The truth is often avoided because it is ugly and unpleasant. Never appeal to truth and reality unless you are prepared for the anger that comes for disenchantment. Life is so harsh and distressing that people who can manufacture romance or conjure up fantasy are like oases in the desert: Everyone flocks to them. There is great power in tapping into the fantasies of the masses.

Law 33

Discover Each Man’s Thumbscrew

Everyone has a weakness, a gap in the castle wall. That weakness is usual y an insecurity, an uncontrollable emotion or need; it can also be a small secret pleasure. Either way, once found, it is a thumbscrew you can turn to your advantage.

Law 34

Be Royal in your Own Fashion: Act like a King to be treated like one

The way you carry yourself will often determine how you are treated; In the long run, appearing vulgar or common will make people disrespect you. For a king respects himself and inspires the same sentiment in others. By acting regally and confident of your powers, you make yourself seem destined to wear a crown.

Law 35

Master the Art of Timing

Never seem to be in a hurry – hurrying betrays a lack of control over yourself, and over time. Always seem patient, as if you know that everything will come to you eventually. Become a detective of the right moment; sniff out the spirit of the times, the trends that will carry you to power. Learn to stand back when the time is not yet ripe, and to strike fiercely when it has reached fruition.

Law 36

Disdain Things you cannot have: Ignoring them is the best Revenge

By acknowledging a petty problem you give it existence and credibility. The more attention you pay an enemy, the stronger you make him; and a small mistake is often made worse and more visible when you try to fix it. It is sometimes best to leave things alone. If there is something you want but cannot have, show contempt for it. The less interest you reveal, the more superior you seem.

Law 37

Create Compelling Spectacles

Striking imagery and grand symbolic gestures create the aura of power – everyone responds to them. Stage spectacles for those around you, then full of arresting visuals and radiant symbols that heighten your presence. Dazzled by appearances, no one will notice what you are really doing.

Law 38

Think as you like but Behave like others

If you make a show of going against the times, flaunting your unconventional ideas and unorthodox ways, people will think that you only want attention and that you look down upon them. They will find a way to punish you for making them feel inferior. It is far safer to blend in and nurture the common touch. Share your originality only with tolerant friends and those who are sure to appreciate your uniqueness.

Law 39

Stir up Waters to Catch Fish

Anger and emotion are strategically counterproductive. You must always stay calm and objective. But if you can make your enemies angry while staying calm yourself, you gain a decided advantage. Put your enemies off-balance: Find the chink in their vanity through which you can rattle them and you hold the strings.

Law 40

Despise the Free Lunch

What is offered for free is dangerous – it usually involves either a trick or a hidden obligation. What has worth is worth paying for. By paying your own way you stay clear of gratitude, guilt, and deceit. It is also often wise to pay the full price – there is no cutting corners with excellence. Be lavish with your money and keep it circulating, for generosity is a sign and a magnet for power.

Law 41

Avoid Stepping into a Great Man’s Shoes

What happens first always appears better and more original than what comes after. If you succeed a great man or have a famous parent, you will have to accomplish double their achievements to outshine them. Do not get lost in their shadow, or stuck in a past not of your own making: Establish your own name and identity by changing course. Slay the overbearing father, disparage his legacy, and gain power by shining in your own way.

Law 42

Strike the Shepherd and the Sheep will Scatter

Trouble can often be traced to a single strong individual – the stirrer, the arrogant underling, the poisoned of goodwill. If you allow such people room to operate, others will succumb to their influence. Do not wait for the troubles they cause to multiply, do not try to negotiate with them – they are irredeemable. Neutralize their influence by isolating or banishing them. Strike at the source of the trouble and the sheep will scatter.

Law 43

Work on the Hearts and Minds of Others

Coercion creates a reaction that will eventually work against you. You must seduce others into wanting to move in your direction. A person you have seduced becomes your loyal pawn. And the way to seduce others is to operate on their individual psychologies and weaknesses. Soften up the resistant by working on their emotions, playing on what they hold dear and what they fear. Ignore the hearts and minds of others and they will grow to hate you.

Law 44

Disarm and Infuriate with the Mirror Effect

The mirror reflects reality, but it is also the perfect tool for deception: When you mirror your enemies, doing exactly as they do, they cannot figure out your strategy. The Mirror Effect mocks and humiliates them, making them overreact. By holding up a mirror to their psyches, you seduce them with the illusion that you share their values; by holding up a mirror to their actions, you teach them a lesson. Few can resist the power of Mirror Effect.

Law 45

Preach the Need for Change, but Never Reform too much at Once

Everyone understands the need for change in the abstract, but on the day-to-day level people are creatures of habit. Too much innovation is traumatic, and will lead to revolt. If you are new to a position of power, or an outsider trying to build a power base, make a show of respecting the old way of doing things. If change is necessary, make it feel like a gentle improvement on the past.

Law 46

Never appear too Perfect

Appearing better than others is always dangerous, but most dangerous of all is to appear to have no faults or weaknesses. Envy creates silent enemies. It is smart to occasionally display defects, and admit to harmless vices, in order to deflect envy and appear more human and approachable. Only gods and the dead can seem perfect with impunity.

Law 47

Do not go Past the Mark you Aimed for; In Victory, Learn when to Stop

The moment of victory is often the moment of greatest peril. In the heat of victory, arrogance and overconfidence can push you past the goal you had aimed for, and by going too far, you make more enemies than you defeat. Do not allow success to go to your head. There is no substitute for strategy and careful planning. Set a goal, and when you reach it, stop.

Law 48

Assume Formlessness

By taking a shape, by having a visible plan, you open yourself to attack. Instead of taking a form for your enemy to grasp, keep yourself adaptable and on the move. Accept the fact that nothing is certain and no law is fixed. The best way to protect yourself is to be as fluid and formless as water; never bet on stability or lasting order. Everything changes.

some rapper crushes... (add them to my list of faves.)

omg! if i saw anyone of these guys walking down the street, i would go gaga! i look up to them because 1. i like the music they make and 2. they're hot! (esp T.I. tabangi! hehe)


the man on top is chingy. i love "one call away" and "holiday inn" because i simply like his distinct style and his voice, of course. he's not as hot as the the next guy, T.I. hehe:) omg! i love his smile! and his greatest song, for me, so far, would be "whatever you like." i just like him! sexy.



the next man, pharell williams, has to be on my faves list! you could just tell he's got the brains. looks too! hehe:) for me, his best songs would be "beautiful" and ah... there's just plenty... his style(musica and fashion), his taste level is just... amazing, maybe even revolutionary. he has accomplished so much. i like him.

i liked their music waaay back... since a few years ago but i have not yet grown tired of them. hehe:) to me, they continue to impress and amaze.:)

disclaimer: this list is not exclusive since there are more rappers i like. but purely for their talent. the only difference these guys have is that they look so damn good! to me at least... i wish i could see them! maybe i might pee my pants... haha!

bite me!
ciao!