happy new year!

ah yes... a new year. new years come with resolutions, plans, goals, and reflections about the past year. it has never been a habit of mine to make resolutions because i know myself well enough and i'm pretty sure that i can't stick to it for 365 days! hehe:) so why bother, right? i don't wanna say "i'll quit smoking this year" or "i'll stop backstabbing b!tches who deserve it" because tis likely that by february, i will have forgotten that resolution. hehe:) so good luck to the people who have resolutions. :) i dotn have plans for the year 2009 yet. but i'd have to say that one of my goals is to pass my subjects this sem and be an official sophomore next SY. hehe:) and make money, maybe get a part time job teaching, or selling flesh... haha! but those two would be more like hopes, rather than goals. hehe:) too much of it is out of my hands-- like vacant positions for the teaching spot i want, or the so-called-teacher-factor of my subjects. i dunno. but then self-improvement is what i should be aiming for right? so there! i want to improve my acads and finances. and oh, i wanna make friends! i feel like i've neglected my family, my KE family, viada peeps, HS chums, and others, recently. i need to make amends somehow. its gonna be tough though, because i have a lot of things lined up for january that will require my full attention. but i guess it wont hurt to put "making friends" as my third goal. :) reflections??? there should be much. but my brain is not in the reflective mode. its such a tragedy. i feel like so much has happened to me in the year 2008 that to close this chapter of my life without any reflections would be sad, wrong and stupid. and its irritating. so wait... i'll force myself... i got into lawskool! the tanya of 2007 or the tanya from any other year before 2008 would have thought that i would not bite into something so heavy, worldly, or into such a huge responsibility. i duuno. some part of me just said that it had to be done. i made new friends in lawskool! lingaw na people and weird assortment of personalities. kewl! at nagkaroon ako ng crushes ulit! haha! after years of feeling dead! haha! i joined another sorority. kala ko dati di ko na gagawin kasi ayokong gawin para di mahati yung loyalty ko. but i did it. and i did sooo much. so many things i did not even think i'd do, or sacrifice all that i did. god, i took it all. i know i realized much during the initiation process, and much of it, i'll keep to myself. :) i got asthma before 2008 ended! haha! erm... so maybe i'll make a resolution this year... and that is to try to quit smoking for good! and never seek refuge from a cigarette like you would look for cheap thrills from a lover on the side... hehe! whatever yaya, ur such a loser! :) haha! and maybe i'll try to stop saying chorbah, and instead excert more effort in choosing the right words and finishing my sentences. noh?

m tired. basta! onward to the future! cheers!
peace and love! ciao!
god bless us all!

mankeyn video!

this is a video of my mangkin iya! hehe:)
sa waly pagpabor-pabor, kyoot jud siya! hehe:)
and i say that because not all babies are cute.
hehe:)

peace!

ay uie!

badtrip. i was diagnosed with asthma today. i've had this cough since the last night of initiation. i was sick that time too. good thing the fever went away. too bad, the cough did not. i might've gotten worse actually. now, i have to have my inhaler at all times. haay. and the kalagot part is the fact that poor kaayo akong body coordination... do ko magawa ng tama yung inhaler... grr.

good luck to me.

god bless you this season... and always. its nice to hear/read that people went home to their respective provinces, had fun with family and celebrated Christmas blahblablah... you know? ayos lang. i cant even go out tonight. my super kabarkada from the states is here and i cant go out. its the last night of my pinsan here in davao, kasi uuwi na siya sa cebu tomorrow. and the whole time she was here, di kami nagkita. tapos tonight, di ako makalabas. bad.

m happy that ur not stuck at home because of your poor health. kunsabagay, i need this time to rest. thank God for this opportunity.

ciao!

u think you can winner-winner me?!

i was at church nung 24... tapos may dalawang teens na naguusap. (yung tipong teens na naka gel ate may emo na hairstyle tapos fitted yung shirt... alam mo na yun!) i did not really listen to their convo, but suddenly i heard one of them say "WHO CARES?!" sabay walk-out... tapos yung isa pasigaw na sinabi "WHO CARES YOU TOO?!"

haha! wala. gusto ko lang ishare... :)

merry christmas...

this holiday season is something i wanted for the past few years. i have always wanted a quiet christmas, one that was not so stressful or over-rated. i wanted to try celebrating the holidays quietly, instead of spending it over-eating and putting up with drunken relatives who end up quarreling.

however, this christmas, sad to say was something that i did not quite feel. i was too busy with the initiation process that if feels like i was not prepared nor psyched about the holidays. i failed to get excited that's why it feels like we are just going through the motions- wrapping presents, going to family gatherings, blahblahblah... i guess i just have too much on my plate this time.

i have yonie's wedding to think about. i don't have a dress yet. my brother is away this christmas. the hongkong trip is also coming and i have not yet prepared. i have not packed yet and i have not saved money yet. i thought my mom was going to cancel it since my lola is still in the hospital. she's getting better by the way. we might be able to take her home before the new year, so yeay! :) at least that's one less baggage... but i need to get a driver's license and fix my philhealth papers... and i'm excited about going to school next year, though... haha! parang joke noh? but yeah, i miss my friends. i have not spoken to any of them for a month! and finally, i can be my bossy hambugera self again next year. and oh, i look forward to spending time with my cousins! i have a new pamangkin... that's one less cousin to hang out with, but that also means a new beautiful baby boy is welcomed to the family. (puloy has a son now. congratz gaw!) i look forward to chilling with Kappatids over the break too! ay tskaka yung manila trip with princess pa pala on the third weekend of january... no money na talga ako... :(

hmm.. m not so sure i want this kind of christmas break again next year. i want one with less to think about, less worries, and less chorbah! hehe:) i want one that is simple, full of good times with family and friends. i want the christmas i used to have when i was a kid, because i was not so preoccupied with grown-up stuff that i could still think about the essence or the spirit of christmas.. blahblahblah... yun! alam mo na ginamean ko diba? :) ayt..

happy holidays!
peace and love
xoxo

in re: lola

this is my lola. she's in the hospital right now. she's 89 years old and she had a mild stroke. its not looking to good for my lola. but we are willing to give her the best medical attention that we can afford. that might mean selling the car my brother gave me. hehe:) funny, 'coz i have not driven it much yet, and now we're thinking of selling it. hehe:) but i dont care. i d rather lose the car that i hardly use, than live with the idea that i could have done something for my beloved and super generous lola, but did'nt.

may god be with you lola.

***an email to my brother.

hi kuy!

after a month of errands, public humiliation, physical exhaustion, and more, i was finally accepted to tau mu. kagabi lang acceptance party namin. hehe:) nyway, super fun and life changing experience jud siya. hehe:) super hirap ng initiation! di na ud ko kauli sa balay usahay.

i joined kay i realized that i wanted to. and i dont regret joining. wat details do you want to hear? the halls and walls of ateneo witnessed most of what i did, and they shall remain silent. chorvah! hehe:)

i included a pic of me and my batchmates. the guy on the left, is ruel ladeza, a CPA top notcher. next to him is kristine paras, a daughter of mayor paras of malalag. the girl in the middle is engr. kristine razo. then the tall tisay is bianca bautista, a daughter of congressman bautista of malita. then the guy on the right is mawe de peralta, anak pud ni judge deperalta. and ME! :) hehe:)

ciao!

today, i am no longer slave lusa.

i never thought that i would have felt that way.
i never thought i would feel this way after all that...

the initiation process did get a bit too much. grabeng pressure!! and to think that it was like your in the boiling pot all the time... but the pressure was necessary. i realized that the initiation process was not merely to gain acceptance or admission to the sor, but also to know the self, to overcome fears, inhibitions and weaknesses, and to rise above all the challenges. of course, by complying, you get to prove your determination to join the sor and you get to show them what you are really made of. the process is quite perfect, actually... this initiation was quite humbling. i feel like i have been broken into tiny little pieces during the process and then the sor put me back together as a better person.

batch 2008 B was accepted last night and i was one of them. even though i was weak and performed poorly, they accepted me. i cannot throw that away. i will make them proud. i will not let the time come when they will regret accepting me. (but then, this is not to say i have less love for all that i have loved before. ptbke, diba? :)

but for now, since this is the first day of my return to my old self, i wanna spend it wrapping gifts, joyriding with my dad, then chikka my mom. and later in the hospital with lola. (i hope she gets better.)

god bless!
love and peace!
xoxo

what used to be...

an easy breezy life...
like the sun, the tide and the moon, i will be back soon.
sorry to all the wonderful people i cannot holler to...
may god bless you and me.
love and peace! ciao!