what happened to me this month??
i was in manila nung early days of january. i went home to get a few things straight (like business permits, etc..) and because his bday was coming up and because i needed to talk to him about things and i did not really have anything to do in mla. :) then i started a new business with my friend... i hope it will be successful because i delayed job hunting for this..
Saturday, January 30, 2010
left-overs anyone???
"manluod ko? o kalimtanay na ta?" --- *like* haha!
well, last night nianhi siya sa balay... nagubot kadali akong world. hehe:) kay gitext diay siya sa akong mama para kuhaon ang bday gift niya.. nasuya ko bai! haha! lain kaayo kay gapanluod pa man gud ko niya... nanluod ko kay ingon siya adto ko sa iya bday pero wa jud siya nagnimbita. :( boo! i know, OA ra kaayo ko. haha) pero ang root sa akong panluod kay he was not there when i needed him. i told him man gud na i needed someont to talk to about something and that i was feeling down. and he said punta siya sa bahay, blahblah... but nothing! then he said kunin niya yung gift niya pero wala pud... kapoy asa sa paasa. i know dapat dili na magexpect pero abi nako amigo mi eh.. hmm. then he tells me na busy siya! hahaha! thats a laugh and a half! :P
so he was here last night... he took a zippo lighter from my collection, promising not to lose it and giving it back after a year. i protested but it was useless. he wanted my earings too! but told him was not giving it to him even if he replaced it in case of loss. and he counted the days when we last saw each other. and i hate the way he looked at me kay pirmi siya gatanaw and gareminisce. and iyang ginagmay na jamming. ug naglagot ko kay galikay siya ug mention sa iyang uyab! tapos he told me my cooking was good, that i did not gain weight, blah blah... my best friend was here and from what he saw, he said that the guy was rather flirty. bad nh? kay naa baya uyab si chorbah! unsa ko?! my best friend said that it was a mind game. boo! whatever. i dont want to play the role of "the other woman" even if i still had feelings for him. he can not have us both man gud tapos hassle/unfair/suya sa ako na mamiga siya nako nga naa man siya uyab! bisan pa muingon siya na wa siya naganahi ato or ganahn siya nako, the fact is- sila gihapon.. ug wala koy plano musawsaw ana. ingon pa akong amigo kay mura lang kog gihimong option number two kay kabalo siya na ganahan ko niya ug dili nako batasan nang magreject ug tao. isisp siguro niya na kung unsa man galing, naa ra ghapon ko. kaso, mapan-os raba gihapon ang bahaw ug salin.
ug naktawa ko kay ana siya na "nagchange diay kag numbers?" i said "oo" tapos ana pud siya na "mao diay sige kog tawag, cannot be reached..." hahaha! sabaja! atik kaayo kay naa raba gihapon akong mga old numbers... hahaha! and kabalo na siya na nagchange kog numbers, wa pud niya pangayu-a ang bag-o... hahaha! joke kaayo! ambot ani niya uie! in fairness, ginapalisdan jud kog move on ha?! sa dihang sige ra siyag sulpot sa mga panahon na arang-arang na ko!
whatever. basta dili ko musugot na mura kog bahaw... kaunon ra inig wala nay lain ug grabe na ang kagutom...
well, last night nianhi siya sa balay... nagubot kadali akong world. hehe:) kay gitext diay siya sa akong mama para kuhaon ang bday gift niya.. nasuya ko bai! haha! lain kaayo kay gapanluod pa man gud ko niya... nanluod ko kay ingon siya adto ko sa iya bday pero wa jud siya nagnimbita. :( boo! i know, OA ra kaayo ko. haha) pero ang root sa akong panluod kay he was not there when i needed him. i told him man gud na i needed someont to talk to about something and that i was feeling down. and he said punta siya sa bahay, blahblah... but nothing! then he said kunin niya yung gift niya pero wala pud... kapoy asa sa paasa. i know dapat dili na magexpect pero abi nako amigo mi eh.. hmm. then he tells me na busy siya! hahaha! thats a laugh and a half! :P
so he was here last night... he took a zippo lighter from my collection, promising not to lose it and giving it back after a year. i protested but it was useless. he wanted my earings too! but told him was not giving it to him even if he replaced it in case of loss. and he counted the days when we last saw each other. and i hate the way he looked at me kay pirmi siya gatanaw and gareminisce. and iyang ginagmay na jamming. ug naglagot ko kay galikay siya ug mention sa iyang uyab! tapos he told me my cooking was good, that i did not gain weight, blah blah... my best friend was here and from what he saw, he said that the guy was rather flirty. bad nh? kay naa baya uyab si chorbah! unsa ko?! my best friend said that it was a mind game. boo! whatever. i dont want to play the role of "the other woman" even if i still had feelings for him. he can not have us both man gud tapos hassle/unfair/suya sa ako na mamiga siya nako nga naa man siya uyab! bisan pa muingon siya na wa siya naganahi ato or ganahn siya nako, the fact is- sila gihapon.. ug wala koy plano musawsaw ana. ingon pa akong amigo kay mura lang kog gihimong option number two kay kabalo siya na ganahan ko niya ug dili nako batasan nang magreject ug tao. isisp siguro niya na kung unsa man galing, naa ra ghapon ko. kaso, mapan-os raba gihapon ang bahaw ug salin.
ug naktawa ko kay ana siya na "nagchange diay kag numbers?" i said "oo" tapos ana pud siya na "mao diay sige kog tawag, cannot be reached..." hahaha! sabaja! atik kaayo kay naa raba gihapon akong mga old numbers... hahaha! and kabalo na siya na nagchange kog numbers, wa pud niya pangayu-a ang bag-o... hahaha! joke kaayo! ambot ani niya uie! in fairness, ginapalisdan jud kog move on ha?! sa dihang sige ra siyag sulpot sa mga panahon na arang-arang na ko!
whatever. basta dili ko musugot na mura kog bahaw... kaunon ra inig wala nay lain ug grabe na ang kagutom...
Sunday, January 17, 2010
happy birthday
"we make our own fortunes and then call them fate. And what better excuse to choose a path than to insist its our destiny? But at the end of the day, we all have to live with our choices... no matter who is looking over our shoulder."
i hope u are truly happy with the decisions that u made. dont tell me u want me, because u are committed to her. you cant come to me if u have regrets now, because for all the times that we shared and for all that chances that we had, you never chose me. dont tell me "hindi pa yun ang panahon para sa atin" because you had control over the situation and you could have said no to her if you really wanted me.
and i hate that people keep telling me about her even when i dont ask. dengit! i would have preferred that i did not know such things so that to disregard her feelings would be much easier. and so that i would not feel too sorry for myself.. i know she models, she has a day job and she has her own place which is free from parental supervision... she already has u, now i learn that she has much of all the other things i want. but i cannot talk about her, nor harbor any feelings of joy nor contempt for her, because we do not exist to each other. :) and i'd like to keep it that way.
as for you, i just really need to get you out of my system. i need to detoxify and rehabilitate myself... i have to isolate myself and have 100% no you for the days to come... wish me luck.
ciao!
god bless!
i hope u are truly happy with the decisions that u made. dont tell me u want me, because u are committed to her. you cant come to me if u have regrets now, because for all the times that we shared and for all that chances that we had, you never chose me. dont tell me "hindi pa yun ang panahon para sa atin" because you had control over the situation and you could have said no to her if you really wanted me.
and i hate that people keep telling me about her even when i dont ask. dengit! i would have preferred that i did not know such things so that to disregard her feelings would be much easier. and so that i would not feel too sorry for myself.. i know she models, she has a day job and she has her own place which is free from parental supervision... she already has u, now i learn that she has much of all the other things i want. but i cannot talk about her, nor harbor any feelings of joy nor contempt for her, because we do not exist to each other. :) and i'd like to keep it that way.
as for you, i just really need to get you out of my system. i need to detoxify and rehabilitate myself... i have to isolate myself and have 100% no you for the days to come... wish me luck.
ciao!
god bless!
Monday, January 4, 2010
2009 higlights
yeah, a couple days late... but as you know, i was a bit distracted... anyway, here is a rundown of my 2009...
JANUARY--
-hongkong
-yonie got married to tata
-first month as Sigma Tau MU!!
-conflicts 2009; student council, legal pictionary champs
-we met
FEBRUARY--
-my lola passed away; my viada classmates and TM sisses went to the wake
MARCH--
-exams and dealing with haters
-TM luau
-papa's bday
APRIL&MAY--
-yonie gave birth
-buds, beer, billiards
-almost did not go back to school
JUNE--
-hongkong
-school; he handled my enrollment, unexpectedly classmates
JULY--
-birthday; dinner with family, friends, plus cakes and flowers
-i made a serious booboo; one i must not forget.
AUGUST--
-mama, lolo, tang's bday; he went
-not a good month for us
SEPTEMBER--
-when it was getting better, i do something again
-"unhealthy" talk on the 17th
OCTOBER--
-sembreak
-fugs helping me get over the whole thing
NOVEMBER--
-i decided not to enroll
-kuya's bday
DECEMBER--
-Sigma Tau Mu anniv
-Lex Talionis anniv
-i saw him holding her hands and i started to really get over things
JANUARY--
-hongkong
-yonie got married to tata
-first month as Sigma Tau MU!!
-conflicts 2009; student council, legal pictionary champs
-we met
FEBRUARY--
-my lola passed away; my viada classmates and TM sisses went to the wake
MARCH--
-exams and dealing with haters
-TM luau
-papa's bday
APRIL&MAY--
-yonie gave birth
-buds, beer, billiards
-almost did not go back to school
JUNE--
-hongkong
-school; he handled my enrollment, unexpectedly classmates
JULY--
-birthday; dinner with family, friends, plus cakes and flowers
-i made a serious booboo; one i must not forget.
AUGUST--
-mama, lolo, tang's bday; he went
-not a good month for us
SEPTEMBER--
-when it was getting better, i do something again
-"unhealthy" talk on the 17th
OCTOBER--
-sembreak
-fugs helping me get over the whole thing
NOVEMBER--
-i decided not to enroll
-kuya's bday
DECEMBER--
-Sigma Tau Mu anniv
-Lex Talionis anniv
-i saw him holding her hands and i started to really get over things
Friday, January 1, 2010
how i started the year 2010
january 1, 2010 at around 2:00am, my cousin and i went to this party...
my classmate was there and i was sooo drunk and i ended up embracing him till morning... so werd...
so there i was, really enjoying the party= music + people + alcohol + good vibe. hehe:) i was nostalgia tripping with an old friend, then i decided to thank my classmate for the year 2009. i said "thank you for 2009" sabay hug and kiss sa cheek... tapos di na kami bumitaw. then he started talking, just opening up about what we shared for the past year. sabi niya na hindi pa yun ang time para sa amin. he said that he was in a relationship (with the girl i saw in that bar) but napilitan lang siya and that he would have wanted me if ever... but the past year was not the time for it. he told me he could see that i have grown so much.
he said a lot of things.. much of it, i wont include in this post.. oddly, it seemed like he was reading my mind because all the things he told me answered all the questions i have always wanted to ask but never did. he seemed to be giving me doses of honesty and relieving himself of some baggage. i appreciated it. i thought it was a good close to 2009 and it seemed to shed positivity on 2010..
i still like him, but i now have (better) control of what i feel. i also have a clearer picture of my role in the scheme of things in his life. i have some amount of peace now.
*sings* "so i'll let you go. i'll set you free. when you find you, come back to me."
to a happy and prosperous new year!
god bless you!
ciao!
*****************************************
ps, i got super drunk and for the first
time in a long time, i got a hangover!
haha! i am so decided on cutting back
on alcohol this year.. :) help!
my classmate was there and i was sooo drunk and i ended up embracing him till morning... so werd...
so there i was, really enjoying the party= music + people + alcohol + good vibe. hehe:) i was nostalgia tripping with an old friend, then i decided to thank my classmate for the year 2009. i said "thank you for 2009" sabay hug and kiss sa cheek... tapos di na kami bumitaw. then he started talking, just opening up about what we shared for the past year. sabi niya na hindi pa yun ang time para sa amin. he said that he was in a relationship (with the girl i saw in that bar) but napilitan lang siya and that he would have wanted me if ever... but the past year was not the time for it. he told me he could see that i have grown so much.
he said a lot of things.. much of it, i wont include in this post.. oddly, it seemed like he was reading my mind because all the things he told me answered all the questions i have always wanted to ask but never did. he seemed to be giving me doses of honesty and relieving himself of some baggage. i appreciated it. i thought it was a good close to 2009 and it seemed to shed positivity on 2010..
i still like him, but i now have (better) control of what i feel. i also have a clearer picture of my role in the scheme of things in his life. i have some amount of peace now.
*sings* "so i'll let you go. i'll set you free. when you find you, come back to me."
to a happy and prosperous new year!
god bless you!
ciao!
*****************************************
ps, i got super drunk and for the first
time in a long time, i got a hangover!
haha! i am so decided on cutting back
on alcohol this year.. :) help!
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