baby steps in the gray area

"if you don't stand for one thing, you'll fall for anything."

i have always tried to avoid the gray area. when an issue is presented, i always try to see it in black and white. i always try to decide whether i am for it or against it. i hardly have no comments, or no opinions regarding a certain matter. i always make a choice. i believe that making a choice allows you to address the issue in an efficient and timely manner.

right now, given all the crazy things going on in my mind, i am forced to be in the gray area. i have to live in this gray area for an indefinite period of time and it is incredibly difficult for me. I am struggling with the time factor because i am very impatient and i need to restore my peace of mind asap. My peace of mind cannot be restored yet because i am in the gray area. being here kills me because i feel like i am powerless and i am unable to address the several issues that cloud my mind. i feel stuck because i cannot make choices and viable options do not seem to be present. i am so confused, and i hate that.

but the thing that keeps me going is my faith in the fact that things will get better with time. God is next to me. this is just another thing i need to deal with or another phase i need to be in, in order to learn more. so i will take all of it in. i will survive this one day at a time. i'll get to where i am supposed to be and be who i am supposed to be. baby steps...

god bless you.
ciao!

afterthought---

i feel so humbled by the grandeur of God's design. i feel so small, yet so empowered to do something great, to be someone good.

a blessed sunday to all.

good morning sunshine!

it feels like i have been asleep for the past year. i missed out on so much. true, a lot of things happened... too many to enumerate... and i felt so much, like gabalde, gabaha! haha! but it feels like everything's just part of a dream. i say this because i feel like i got disconnected from the rest of the world, from my friends and family, and mostly i felt disconnected from myself. i just wallowed in my thoughts, ran around my head and walked the earth only half-conscious of what was really going on and what i was doing.

but my eyes are open now. ☺