FB status---

---does not know what or how to feel...

then a friend asks what my status is all about... i told him i'll explain it next time...

kay kapoy. funny thing is, there are a lot of things that i should be thinking about. like my dad's trust issues. chorbah. school. job. friends. social life. money. health. and the social elevance of my existence. but since i do not think about these things, i cannot formulate an opinion, strong enought to invoke certain emotions... or lets call it "passion."

basically what i'm trying to say is: with all the concerns i have at the moment, i am happy that i have not thought about killing myself. as what i would have done before. and with all the concerns that i have, i am not deeply troubled. that taking these things lightly and not over-thinking is good. as it keeps my head is above the water... maybe this new found optimism i partly owe to this friend who distracts me and helps me look at the positive side of things. :)

whatever.

love and peace to all!
GOD be with you!
ciao!

love letter to japan---

-- by the bird and the bee

is a new discovery for me... i woke up this morning and thought of "him" and when my bedroom was to hot due to the flooding sunshine, i went to the kitchen to have some coffee and watch tv. then a strange song was played and i liked it much... mainly because the lyrics reflected my thoughts...

nyway, i wanna share it with you... so here is the link to the video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J6rxbgAm-Do

i hope u like it. hehe:)

peace and love to all!
ciao!

ally vosia hums ---

"-from the west to the east, i have flown to be near you, I have come all this way to be close, to be here with you. And now, all my heart I will lay down precisely at your feet. My beloved, oh my sweet, all the gifts you have given me, the patience and the peace, cherry blossoms and the candy, i am yours for as long as you will have me..."

current state of mind---

---food, drinks, good company, fun times

i've been wanting to post something here for the past few days... but much has happend and i'm left with nothing to say... no, not really big things, but more like confusing... :) nyway, m not really out to hunt down answers... i'm trying to teach myself not to overthink... i've decided to just play along and stay for the ride... enjoy things while they still are... dami kong gusto ilagay dito, pero di pwede! hahaha!~

peace and love to all!
ciao!

kaCHORBAhan kong song for the moment... hehe:)

If I fell in love with you
Would you promise to be true
And help me understand
'cause I've been in love before
And I found that love was more
Than just holding hands

If I give my heart to you
I must be sure
From the very start
That you would love me more than her

If I trust in you oh please
Don't run and hide
If I love you too oh please
Don't hurt my pride like her
'cause I couldn't stand the pain
And I would be sad if our new love was in vain

So I hope you see that I
Would love to love you
And that she will cry
When she learns we are two

If I fell in love with you

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I4Dsq9NtiIo

lookie!!! lookie!! lookie!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBxAdoTOnuM

its like my fave... for now.

on being tita ninang

these are my inaanaks:

1. si palay na anak ni tito choy...

2. si maria carylla chaitanya na anak ng cholo ko. hehe:)

































3. si maria isabelle na anak ni janessa














4. yung anak ni bimbo! na isang beses ko pa lang nakita...

5. yung anak ng pinakamamahal kong kagaw ang magiging kauna-unahang lalaking tatawag sakin na tita ninang... bibinyagan ng drew rylie ngayong 19! woohoo!














6. yung anak ni kathryn na si raine na inaway ako dahil di ko daw siya binigyan ng tsokolate

7. yung anak ni yonie na si kurt na hot from the oven! na aangkinin kong inaanak kahit ndi ako kunin ni yonie as ninang! haha!

wholly week

i drank mucho this week. hehe:) at the moment i'm still recovering from vodka. lechon. tata benitos. tanduay @ pista. melted ice cream. and the fact that my father has trust issues. haha! he thinks that i should not be close to my guy friends... or at least not touch them! haha! he thinks i should be home early too! yeah, admittedly, i've been out partying mucho this week... and the week before that... and the weeks before that... and so on... but i dont trust many people and those i trust, i know i can trust them and i trust myself with them. i feel that he does not understand how/who i am or how i act around my friends because he is not really the one who is walking around in my shoes and he not the one who is in a relationship called friendship with these people...

its tough for me to have my father controlling my life... at my age?! haay... and i think, one problem i have with this is the fact that i do not know how to address this issue...

whatever.

peace and love to all!
ciao!

god bless!

-=hibernate=-

i want to disappear for a while... i want to get away from expectations, assumptions, presumptions, confusion and whatever... i will not think of chorbas and fracas for a while. i will reunite with old pals and discover a different kind of fun and take on a new "fresh" perspective. the world i have known for the past few days has gotten a bit too much for me and i feel exhausted from all the highs and lows of it all... i want less of it. so i am going to hibernate.

so if you contact me and you dont hear me holler back, do not be surprised.

how am i going to handle boredom??? ill find ways...

peace and love!
ciao!

note to self--

i have been beating myself up too much for my behavior last saturday. it bothers me a lot less now. but still, i dunno if we are cool. i dunno if i should call him, ask him out again to make amends or if i should just let it go and wait for fate to weave our paths again...

so while being undecided and doing nothing, i watched gossip girl episode 20 : the remains of J. .. and i understood why i can relate to Blair so much... because like her, i do not like not knowing what's coming. hehe:)

and the wisdom imparted at the end of the episode somehow answered my question... here it is:

Mistakes. we all make them. They usually start with the best of intentions, like keeping a secret to protect someone or getting some distance from the person you've become. Sometimes we do not even know the mistakes we've made to get us where we are, or we figure it out just in time to make it right again. But every mistake happens for a reason: to teach you a lesson you would otherwise never learn. And hopefully you never make that mistake again.

so, i have decided to ask him out for coffee or movie... but just not yet. if he turns me down, i probably wont do it again. hehe:) pati ang kalabaw, napapagod din! haha!

love and peace!
ciao!

or as gossipgirl would say... xoxo

hangin' or hangin?

haha! mike was pissed because nagparinig tong isang gurlaloo... mahangin daw... hehe:) too bad, that was the best that she could do... :) patience mike. they say its a virtue. wait for the right time to crush her like a bug.

so from up, we decided to go to datcom! woohoo! first time ko. we drank... kami nila new bossang yas, yab ni yas, shyne, mike and me! tama lang for me to be pleasantly hit... to at least forget the troubles i had with responsibilities/real world drama... (grabeh, nastress talaga ako dun! but i wont discuss that here... or anywhere! nyahaha! i shall mention it so i wont forget... hehe:) but it seems that a few ml shy of 1 litre is bad for mike... scared pa naman siya kasi he just got his car form the casa... hehe:)

mike and i ended up at sm. i ate chicken after a long time of avoiding it. :) kasukahon daw siya, sabi ko, i dare you. and yeah, he puked sa kfc. with a little girl standing behind him and waiting for him to finish.
we left the sink clogged. but whatever...

i miss hangin out with the mahangin peeps! hehe
love and peace to all!
ciao!

ps. sorry for the vampire bites... :)