i just thought that maybe loving is not for me. people move from one person to the next ant they are perfectly fine. the one time i decide to let my guard down, and i end up a wreck.
its really not for me. i like it, but its like a drug for me. i just realized that i'm the giver in a relationship and i can hardly stand knowing that a person is mad at me. those traits put together result in a martyr.. u know the kind that cant stop hitting her head with a hammer? :)
and i really dont know how to stop.. i think and rethink, analyze, rationalize and over-think! its exhausting. its too much but i cant stop. i wallow in feeling because i think that's what living is all about. you know?
its when you feel something, anything, that you feel alive. weird huh?? i dunno. maybe i gotta think about this some more..
oh well..
God bless!
Ciao!
ps. i really dont want to crash and burn again. i just like the tingling and the floating feeling when u love someone. :)
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