okay, so as of now, i am bent on letting you go without need of explanation or goodbyes. parang i dont feel the need to tell you goodbye. i dont feel the need to tell you how much you mean/meant to me. i no longer feel the need to hear what you have to say. i no longer feel the urge to fix things or try to make sense of things. (ayaw mo naman din, diba?) we can live without knowing or saying all those things.
right now, i am thinking that the next time i see you, walang hard feelings. i wont be bitter, angsty, sad, or whatever. i will simply be your classmate. just another flower in the bunch... i wont text you, unless its important. (but i cannot delete your msgs from my phone yet.. although its got 2000+ msgs in the inbox already.) i refuse to be affected by your mere presence. (but of course, i wont pretend ur non-existent, coz that's stupid, silly and just... uhm.. dumb.) i'll talk to you like i talk to all the other classmates. i'll pretend "the summer" never happened, to avoid awkward moments. but i cant be so nice to you anymore... or at least i'll try. (mabait din naman talga ako eh. haha!)
kaya ni bai! :)
ive been holding on to something that you've been letting go of for some time now and its taking its toll on me. i am coming to terms with the fact that you did not value me as much as i did/do you... i think it all boils down to that. i dont need to say more. i wont.
im going to move on. im letting you go. i will not need to hear it from you anymore.
love and peace!
ciao!
*************************************
i was right. yung first of september kiss,
na wala tayong sinabi sa isa't isa before and after-
i just knew that that was
the last time i get to kiss you.
i felt the fear right then and there.
i felt like i was going to cry, halfway.
but i dont think u noticed.
it was one of the best, by the way. :)
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