dili jud ko lakas sa imo! punyetah ka!
haha! :) dili na taka samokon, itx or replyan or yayain maginuman. kapoy nah! officially, gikapoy na ko nimo! lami ra kaayo imong life to include me in it! hahaha! pero dili na ko. wala na koy gana sa imo. dili na nako ka feel. ug, ginakapoy na ko sa akong silly-schooolgirl-with-a-crush mental setting. so everytime i think of you, i will just read how to kill a mockingbird! tapos!
Saturday, February 28, 2009
Thursday, February 26, 2009
lola is living. lola is leaving. lola's libing...
.jpg)
today, after two nights at cosmo, we buried my lola. she was the one and only lola i knew. now that she is gone, wala na akong lola.
her death means a lot of different things for the people whose lives she touched. for my tito, it was the end of the life of someone who lived by example. for my lola's only living sister, it was the end of the life of someone who was selfless. for my mom, it was the end of my lola's pain. for the preist, it was the beginning of a new journey. for my cousin, it meant na sinundo na siya ng lolo kong matagal na rin lumipas. for a relative with downe's syndrome, my lola's death was the end of her "happy days" kasi wala na daw magbibigay sa kanya ng durian at pera at kung ano pa. as for me, her death gave me answers to questions i have been asking myself recently.
during the wake, i was able to peice together a few things about my lola. i always wanted to have a meaningful or fruitful life. and my lola had a fruitful life. she was able to touch and change lives. she helped many people, by giving them jobs, sending them to school, providing shelter and shouldering medical expenses, etc. she had a farm with the hopes of improving the lives of the people around her, by employing them or para "magpundar at makatulong." she always said that if you wanted to help, "magpundar ka" para makatulong. i realized that at the rate i am going (where i always choose the easy way out), i am getting farther from my goal to become a woman for others. to live a meaningful life is to live a life of service... and no one ever said service was going to be easy. we should do what we can for ourselves to be stable enough to hold other people up.
my lola was a farmer. she was very practical and simple. my mother got that from her. i should get this from her too! she did not wear expensive clothes, but she provided the best there was for her children. the thing is, her children wanted to emulate her and often opted for the practical choice. she looked like she a farmer... but unlike the stereotype of a farmer, whenever anyone needed help, she was there. she always had plenty of money, yet it never seemed to be important to her...
dapat gayahin ko sya! :) wish me luck! hehe
we touch lives in a million different ways. we have a million ways to live life. whether or not we made good choices, our life's meaning is revealed to others in our death.
you know what? at this point, all i can hope for is to live a fruitful life and die happy. what i can do is, try to copy my lola's example, and learn from her life.
peace and love to all.
ciao!
ps. although saying goodbye to you makes me sad, i am happy that you are with the man you love and in the arms of the Lord. i shall always have you in my heart. i love you lola!
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
trouble sleeping
i have been having trouble sleeping for the past few days... admittedly, i have been taking sleep for granted. i did not appreciate its value. but that ends today.
i need sleep because i am very tired. i am not just exhausted physically, but also emotionally, i guess...
my lola passed away. enough said. my so-called-friends are... just that. they are just so-called-friends. (except for a few who made me feel really good today. i hart you guys! hehe:) im begining to feel super stupid and effing frustrated with crushie-wushies. i did really bad on a crim exam which was supposed to be supper easy. oblicon exam? lets not even go there... i dont wanna see it. plus, i have exams on saturday and i have not studied, and my mind is not on "aral-mode" so i really dont know how much info i can shove up my ear to save my failing ass. what makes it worse is the fact that i do not know how to worry anymore. i need to worry... to at least worry. i dont feel anything. i feel like as if i have died and that i lost myself somewhere. i feel lost and i seem to have forgotten who i am.
i wanna take a break from it all. i am going to sleep.
***but let it be noted that today i knew happiness... when my friends went to my lola's wake. my deepest thank you sa inyo...
god bless!
ciao!
i need sleep because i am very tired. i am not just exhausted physically, but also emotionally, i guess...
my lola passed away. enough said. my so-called-friends are... just that. they are just so-called-friends. (except for a few who made me feel really good today. i hart you guys! hehe:) im begining to feel super stupid and effing frustrated with crushie-wushies. i did really bad on a crim exam which was supposed to be supper easy. oblicon exam? lets not even go there... i dont wanna see it. plus, i have exams on saturday and i have not studied, and my mind is not on "aral-mode" so i really dont know how much info i can shove up my ear to save my failing ass. what makes it worse is the fact that i do not know how to worry anymore. i need to worry... to at least worry. i dont feel anything. i feel like as if i have died and that i lost myself somewhere. i feel lost and i seem to have forgotten who i am.
i wanna take a break from it all. i am going to sleep.
***but let it be noted that today i knew happiness... when my friends went to my lola's wake. my deepest thank you sa inyo...
god bless!
ciao!
Friday, February 20, 2009
2 in 1. i got exams tomorrow but am guiltless.
i hate mondays and fridays in law school.
its normal to hate mondays. no need to explain that one. i know i share this sentiment with many lazy-asses out there. howver, i have this new found dislike for fridays for the simple reason that you can hardly enjoy a friday night if ur n law school. friday nights for many folks are either date nights or chill out nights. but for us who have decided to chose a slow and painful way to kill our egos and go to lawschool, friday nights are to be spent sleepless and studying ceaselessly. coz its likely that you have exams on saturday. and guess what? youd even have second thoughts if you should spend your saturday night having fun or chillin, coz you are just too tired after all the studying and the killer exam... shux.
so i hate all the law students who are out drinking tonight. i (secretly) envy you. i know mr.chorbah is out having fun tonight. i hope he gets drunk but does not have fun.
they say you should not drink if you are feeling pain because alcohol intensifies pain. when you pour alcohol over a wound or when you swim in beer to get over ur heartbreak. you act stupid. and you discover feelings of hate, sadness frustrations... and you reach a different level of pain which you would not have known if it was not for alcohol. some say you should drink when your down, but no. its when ur down and drink that you realize how much pain you actually trully feel.
so i hope he is feeling something negative. if he is avoiding me, that means i did something wrong (or that he is avoiding chismis) and it bothers him. certainly those thoughts are not rooted on soemthing pleasant... so i hope he drinks and thinks of me and how my existence bothers him. nyahaha! :) very bad... sige lang... im just bitter. i am allowed to wallow in it, right??
i have exams tomoro. wish me luck. i need it. im just taking a break from all the sanity and structure so prevalent in jurisprudence. this is my way of giving my mind a rest and taking a break from all that is logical and reasonable: blog about crushes. its silly, stupid, juvenille, and effing shallow. whatever. i feel like i can afford taking some sick pleasure in this vice because this is one thing taht gives me relief, from all the stress law school has to offer, that is not physiologically detrimental to me. its a lesser evil.
and yeah, tomorrow, on my exam day, i wont even get to see stupid him. thus, another reason why weekends tend to suck for law students.
inspite af all this negativity, antagonism, and bitterness, i wish you peace and love!!
ciao!
its normal to hate mondays. no need to explain that one. i know i share this sentiment with many lazy-asses out there. howver, i have this new found dislike for fridays for the simple reason that you can hardly enjoy a friday night if ur n law school. friday nights for many folks are either date nights or chill out nights. but for us who have decided to chose a slow and painful way to kill our egos and go to lawschool, friday nights are to be spent sleepless and studying ceaselessly. coz its likely that you have exams on saturday. and guess what? youd even have second thoughts if you should spend your saturday night having fun or chillin, coz you are just too tired after all the studying and the killer exam... shux.
so i hate all the law students who are out drinking tonight. i (secretly) envy you. i know mr.chorbah is out having fun tonight. i hope he gets drunk but does not have fun.
they say you should not drink if you are feeling pain because alcohol intensifies pain. when you pour alcohol over a wound or when you swim in beer to get over ur heartbreak. you act stupid. and you discover feelings of hate, sadness frustrations... and you reach a different level of pain which you would not have known if it was not for alcohol. some say you should drink when your down, but no. its when ur down and drink that you realize how much pain you actually trully feel.
so i hope he is feeling something negative. if he is avoiding me, that means i did something wrong (or that he is avoiding chismis) and it bothers him. certainly those thoughts are not rooted on soemthing pleasant... so i hope he drinks and thinks of me and how my existence bothers him. nyahaha! :) very bad... sige lang... im just bitter. i am allowed to wallow in it, right??
i have exams tomoro. wish me luck. i need it. im just taking a break from all the sanity and structure so prevalent in jurisprudence. this is my way of giving my mind a rest and taking a break from all that is logical and reasonable: blog about crushes. its silly, stupid, juvenille, and effing shallow. whatever. i feel like i can afford taking some sick pleasure in this vice because this is one thing taht gives me relief, from all the stress law school has to offer, that is not physiologically detrimental to me. its a lesser evil.
and yeah, tomorrow, on my exam day, i wont even get to see stupid him. thus, another reason why weekends tend to suck for law students.
inspite af all this negativity, antagonism, and bitterness, i wish you peace and love!!
ciao!
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
nice chorbah
erm.. i liked mr.chorbah because i thought he was nice to me. yesterday, when i found out about a nice thing he did, i realized that he was just genuinely kind. binahiran ko ng malisya ang bait nya! haha! loser! i know kindness is supposed to be a plus, but i gotta get used to the idea that he does not like me.
boohoo! hehe:) ok lang. i'll just focus on my other crushes... hehe:) why focus on crushes? coz it sometimes feels like this is the only part of my life which i have control over, and i get a kick out of it for free. haha!
love and peace to all!
ciao!
in re: gurls, friends and being EI
i dont really have a lot of girl pals. maybe because i sometimes fell like i cannot keep up with how girls are. i prefer the company of boys because they seem to have a simpler (sometimes brute) approach to life, while girls are fussy, dami ka-echosan, and ofcourse gossip in a manner where its like they are digging for dirt (boys also libak, but in a manner that is dismissive, not scandalous).
since yonie and i finished college, there has been less and less interaction between us. besides, we got caught up in the real world (i guess). i guess, that, plus the fact that all the other friends i hold so dear decided that they were ready to take on responsibilities and take on life. my world has drastically changed.
many of the people around me these days are what jaybee would call "diet friends." diet friends are those people whose company you need to keep but you can not take them wholly. you only take certain parts of them because you just cant stand other parts of their personality. its like when you are on a diet and you dont eat everything on ur plate because you think its too much or its bad for you. that's how it is with diet friends. youre not really frenemies or anything like that, its just that, you cannot expect a deeply profound relationship from your diet friends.
it makes lawschool a lonelier place. the prevailing chismax culture is discouraging as it is... but you just have to accept the fact that you dont really know which people you can trust. you dont know which person can trully understand you when you are being the most loser version of yourself. heck, its even difficult to find someone who can talk about ideas, instead of gossip, in law school.
i needed the long girly chikahan i had last night. it was like a breath of frish er. thanks BFFN! haha! here's to word coining!...
peace and love to all!
ciao!
since yonie and i finished college, there has been less and less interaction between us. besides, we got caught up in the real world (i guess). i guess, that, plus the fact that all the other friends i hold so dear decided that they were ready to take on responsibilities and take on life. my world has drastically changed.
many of the people around me these days are what jaybee would call "diet friends." diet friends are those people whose company you need to keep but you can not take them wholly. you only take certain parts of them because you just cant stand other parts of their personality. its like when you are on a diet and you dont eat everything on ur plate because you think its too much or its bad for you. that's how it is with diet friends. youre not really frenemies or anything like that, its just that, you cannot expect a deeply profound relationship from your diet friends.
it makes lawschool a lonelier place. the prevailing chismax culture is discouraging as it is... but you just have to accept the fact that you dont really know which people you can trust. you dont know which person can trully understand you when you are being the most loser version of yourself. heck, its even difficult to find someone who can talk about ideas, instead of gossip, in law school.
i needed the long girly chikahan i had last night. it was like a breath of frish er. thanks BFFN! haha! here's to word coining!...
peace and love to all!
ciao!
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
heytchoo, purples!
hehe:) heytchoo purples for pointing out i-dont-wanna-hear-it truths... hehe:)
you see, ladies and gents, while we were eating at mcdo, purples pointed out an important fact after my "valid warrantless (cardiac) arrest." he basically pointed out that musings of the hypothalamus or *ehem...* "feelings" cannot be switched off in a hearbeat. its not like your turning off a light bulb. he said these kinds of *ehem...* "feelings" are bound to linger... so there. he refused to believe my silly declarations of no longer crushing on mr.chorbah.
dont you just hate it when you are in denial and someone points out the truth to you? and then the denial phase ends and you realize that your oh-so-honest friend is right? (good thing purples is not here to say "i told you so." hehe:) anyway, after the denial phase comes acceptance and then eventually, death comes. i wanna put an end to crushing so ill go right ahead to acceptance. (the soone i accept this, the sooner i/it dies...)
yah heard purples? i accept the fact that i crush him again... so there! u happy now purples? :P
and yeah, i followed ur advice and told him about the thing i asked you to tell him... hehe:) xet! i hated the look on his face when i told him the bad news. i felt something unpleaseant in my chest. i suddenly had a conscience. i actually felt bad. hetchoo purples! hehe:) i hate being the bearer of bad news, but i delivered the message to mr.chorbah anyway. i just did not think i'd feel... anything... samot na wa ko nagexpect na i'd feel bad!!! hetchoo, purples! hehe:) i wont listen to ur effing advice next time! hahaha!
i like him today coz he flirted back! haha! :) demmet! igat xa. gaga pud ko, kay nangigat pud ko... hehe:) ghad, i hope this fraca does not leak.. hehe:)
peace and love to all!
ciao!
Saturday, February 14, 2009
21 questions *50 cent*
New York City!
You are now rapping...with 50 Cent
You gotta love it...
I just wanna chill and twist a la
Catch suns in my 7-45
You drive me crazy shorty I
Need to see you and feel you next to me
I provide everything you need and I
Like your smile I don't wanna see you cry
Got some questions that I got to ask and I
Hope you can come up with the answers babe
Girl...It's easy to love me now
Would you love me if I was down and out?
Would you still have love for me?
Girl...It's easy to love me now
Would you love me if I was down and out?
Would you still have love for me?
Girl...
If I fell off tomorrow would you still love me?
If I didn't smell so good would you still hug me?
If I got locked up and sentenced to a quarter century,
Could I count on you to be there to support me mentally?
If I went back to a hoopty from a Benz, would you poof and disappear like
some of my friends?
If I was hit and I was hurt would you be by my side?
If it was time to put in work would you be down to ride?
I'd get out and peel a nigga cap and chill and drive
I'm asking questions to find out how you feel inside
If I ain't rap 'cause I flipped burgers at Burger King
would you be ashamed to tell your friends you feelin' me?
In the bed if I used my tongue would you like that?
If I wrote you a love letter would you write back?
Now we can have a lil' drink you know a nightcap
And we could go do what you like, I know you like that
Girl...It's easy to love me now
Would you love me if I was down and out?
Would you still have love for me?
Girl...It's easy to love me now (Woo!)
Would you love me if I was down and out?
Would you still have love for me?
Girl...
Now would you leave me if you're father found out I was thuggin'?
Do you believe me when I tell you, you the one I'm loving?
Are you mad 'cause I'm asking you 21 questions?
Are you my soulmate? 'Cause if so, girl you a blessing
Do you trust me enough, to tell me your dreams?
I'm staring at ya' trying to figure how you got in them jeans
If I was down would you say things to make me smile?
I treat you how you want to be treated just teach me how
If I was with some other chick and someone happened to see?
And when you asked me about it I said it wasn't me
Would you believe me? Or up and leave me?
How deep is our bond if that's all it takes for you to be gone?
We're only humans girl we make mistakes, to make it up I do whatever it take
I love you like a fat kid loves cake
You know my style I say anything to make you smile
Girl...It's easy to love me now
Would you love me if I was down and out?
Would you still have love for me?
Girl...It's easy to love me now
Would you love me if I was down and out?
Would you still have love for me?
Girl...
Could you love me in a Bentley?
Could you love me on a bus?
I'll ask 21 questions, and they all about us
Could you love me in a Bentley?
Could you love me on a bus?
I'll ask 21 questions, and they all about us
***because of this song, the phrase "21 questions" means something... essentialy, it means what this song means. if you wanna play 21 questions, ur at a point when you wanna evaluate your relationship or you just wanna know a few things about the person, be it a friend or a lover or whatever.
You are now rapping...with 50 Cent
You gotta love it...
I just wanna chill and twist a la
Catch suns in my 7-45
You drive me crazy shorty I
Need to see you and feel you next to me
I provide everything you need and I
Like your smile I don't wanna see you cry
Got some questions that I got to ask and I
Hope you can come up with the answers babe
Girl...It's easy to love me now
Would you love me if I was down and out?
Would you still have love for me?
Girl...It's easy to love me now
Would you love me if I was down and out?
Would you still have love for me?
Girl...
If I fell off tomorrow would you still love me?
If I didn't smell so good would you still hug me?
If I got locked up and sentenced to a quarter century,
Could I count on you to be there to support me mentally?
If I went back to a hoopty from a Benz, would you poof and disappear like
some of my friends?
If I was hit and I was hurt would you be by my side?
If it was time to put in work would you be down to ride?
I'd get out and peel a nigga cap and chill and drive
I'm asking questions to find out how you feel inside
If I ain't rap 'cause I flipped burgers at Burger King
would you be ashamed to tell your friends you feelin' me?
In the bed if I used my tongue would you like that?
If I wrote you a love letter would you write back?
Now we can have a lil' drink you know a nightcap
And we could go do what you like, I know you like that
Girl...It's easy to love me now
Would you love me if I was down and out?
Would you still have love for me?
Girl...It's easy to love me now (Woo!)
Would you love me if I was down and out?
Would you still have love for me?
Girl...
Now would you leave me if you're father found out I was thuggin'?
Do you believe me when I tell you, you the one I'm loving?
Are you mad 'cause I'm asking you 21 questions?
Are you my soulmate? 'Cause if so, girl you a blessing
Do you trust me enough, to tell me your dreams?
I'm staring at ya' trying to figure how you got in them jeans
If I was down would you say things to make me smile?
I treat you how you want to be treated just teach me how
If I was with some other chick and someone happened to see?
And when you asked me about it I said it wasn't me
Would you believe me? Or up and leave me?
How deep is our bond if that's all it takes for you to be gone?
We're only humans girl we make mistakes, to make it up I do whatever it take
I love you like a fat kid loves cake
You know my style I say anything to make you smile
Girl...It's easy to love me now
Would you love me if I was down and out?
Would you still have love for me?
Girl...It's easy to love me now
Would you love me if I was down and out?
Would you still have love for me?
Girl...
Could you love me in a Bentley?
Could you love me on a bus?
I'll ask 21 questions, and they all about us
Could you love me in a Bentley?
Could you love me on a bus?
I'll ask 21 questions, and they all about us
***because of this song, the phrase "21 questions" means something... essentialy, it means what this song means. if you wanna play 21 questions, ur at a point when you wanna evaluate your relationship or you just wanna know a few things about the person, be it a friend or a lover or whatever.
friday the 13th
last night i had dinner with konger, vince, and oka. i like having dinner with them for many reasons i will not elaborate... we went to basti's after coz some of their friends are studying there. i ditched them for my classmates who were at autoshop. i had fun. hehe:) i drank enough to think that i could no longer feel my face. hehe:) i am no longer indebted to eb. i no longer owe him 4hrs of my time. i danced on the ledge with a couple of auto-paid dancers. that would have been a first time for me... hehe:)
last night i was hanging out with classmates and for a couple of them, it was their first time to go to autoshop and dancing on the ledge was still something. and i realized that there have been too many changes in my life. i used to do all these crazy things and partied hard. but this time, i felt like i was back at square 1. hehe:) ayos lang. maybe i should take life slowly and take it one step at a time... hehe:)
whatever.
charlen and i went to mcdo before heading home. she confirmed my suspicions about the couple of people who see me in a negative light. and i finally realized, I really dont care anymore.
and yeah, i met the girl who is subject of some controversy for she is being bullied by some of konger's gang mates. hehe:) i was happy about that. i spoke perfect english while i was trying to explain things to her and give her drunken advice. nagulat nga ako at nakapag chorvah pa ako ng philo! haha!
that's it for me. :) i gotta bathe and get ready to party. :D
love and peace to all!
ciao!
last night i was hanging out with classmates and for a couple of them, it was their first time to go to autoshop and dancing on the ledge was still something. and i realized that there have been too many changes in my life. i used to do all these crazy things and partied hard. but this time, i felt like i was back at square 1. hehe:) ayos lang. maybe i should take life slowly and take it one step at a time... hehe:)
whatever.
charlen and i went to mcdo before heading home. she confirmed my suspicions about the couple of people who see me in a negative light. and i finally realized, I really dont care anymore.
and yeah, i met the girl who is subject of some controversy for she is being bullied by some of konger's gang mates. hehe:) i was happy about that. i spoke perfect english while i was trying to explain things to her and give her drunken advice. nagulat nga ako at nakapag chorvah pa ako ng philo! haha!
that's it for me. :) i gotta bathe and get ready to party. :D
love and peace to all!
ciao!
Thursday, February 12, 2009
valid warrantless (cardiac) arrests
1. when the crime is being committed in front of the arresting officer
i think you are avoiding me. why? insecure about your recent behavior? you tell me. i dont know. you are no longer available or at least accessible to me. not like before, at least. (i'm telling you, dont worry about it. NP yun! trust me, im not an amateur when it comes to that:)
2. when the arresting officer has probable cause based on personal knowledge that a crime has been committed, is being committed or will be committed
i saw you with a "her" kanina. you were with a different "her" days ago. evidence is piling up against you kumpadre... my friend overheard you being teased to some other girl. i have this feeling the love bug hit you too and you're looking for possible victims. (better not be gurls i konw...)
3. when the person to be arested is an escapee from a penal institution
i know you just got of a relationship. you just lost what could have been the greatest love you'll experience. sux huh?i know you need to feel it again, and i guess you are running around looking for places to hide and take shelter from, or for some amount of comfort...
thus, i need to arrest these funny feelings i am slowly developing for you. the arrest must be made, before you commit other crimes... like breaking my heart.
CHAR! Nagdrama ang yaya! haha!
peace and love to all!
ciao!
i think you are avoiding me. why? insecure about your recent behavior? you tell me. i dont know. you are no longer available or at least accessible to me. not like before, at least. (i'm telling you, dont worry about it. NP yun! trust me, im not an amateur when it comes to that:)
2. when the arresting officer has probable cause based on personal knowledge that a crime has been committed, is being committed or will be committed
i saw you with a "her" kanina. you were with a different "her" days ago. evidence is piling up against you kumpadre... my friend overheard you being teased to some other girl. i have this feeling the love bug hit you too and you're looking for possible victims. (better not be gurls i konw...)
3. when the person to be arested is an escapee from a penal institution
i know you just got of a relationship. you just lost what could have been the greatest love you'll experience. sux huh?i know you need to feel it again, and i guess you are running around looking for places to hide and take shelter from, or for some amount of comfort...
thus, i need to arrest these funny feelings i am slowly developing for you. the arrest must be made, before you commit other crimes... like breaking my heart.
CHAR! Nagdrama ang yaya! haha!
peace and love to all!
ciao!
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
A good story, something to learn from it.
The Donkey attitude:
One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously
for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do. Finally, he decided
the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway; it just
wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey.
He invited all his neighbours to come over and help him. They all grabbed a
shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well. At first, the donkey realized
what was happening and cried horribly. Then, to everyone's amazement he
quietened down.
A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well. He was
astonished at what he saw. With each shovel of dirt that hit his back, the
donkey was doing something amazing. He would shake it off and take a step
up.
As the farmer's neighbours continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he
would shake it off and take a step up. Pretty soon,
everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and
happily trotted off!
MORAL of the story :
Life is going to shovel 'dirt' on you, all kinds of 'dirt'. The trick to
getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up. Each of our
troubles is a steppingstone. We can get out of the deepest wells just by not
stopping, never giving up! Shake it off and take a step up. Life is our
greatest Teacher!
Remember the five simple rules to be happy:
1. Free your heart from all evils (especially selfishness and hatred) -
Learn to Forgive and Forget and move on with goodness of heart.
2. Free your mind from all unhappiness and worries - so that there is no
fear,
no anxiety and no sorrow - Learn to Live Life instead of worrying about
Life.
3. Have contentment and Love then learn to appreciate
what you have in Life more and more.
4. Be willing to share and help via your willingness to Give more.
5. Avoid having Expectations that can make you miserable.
(Expect to be appreciated; to be Loved; to be promoted;
to be treated as equal... etc.
One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously
for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do. Finally, he decided
the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway; it just
wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey.
He invited all his neighbours to come over and help him. They all grabbed a
shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well. At first, the donkey realized
what was happening and cried horribly. Then, to everyone's amazement he
quietened down.
A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well. He was
astonished at what he saw. With each shovel of dirt that hit his back, the
donkey was doing something amazing. He would shake it off and take a step
up.
As the farmer's neighbours continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he
would shake it off and take a step up. Pretty soon,
everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and
happily trotted off!
MORAL of the story :
Life is going to shovel 'dirt' on you, all kinds of 'dirt'. The trick to
getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up. Each of our
troubles is a steppingstone. We can get out of the deepest wells just by not
stopping, never giving up! Shake it off and take a step up. Life is our
greatest Teacher!
Remember the five simple rules to be happy:
1. Free your heart from all evils (especially selfishness and hatred) -
Learn to Forgive and Forget and move on with goodness of heart.
2. Free your mind from all unhappiness and worries - so that there is no
fear,
no anxiety and no sorrow - Learn to Live Life instead of worrying about
Life.
3. Have contentment and Love then learn to appreciate
what you have in Life more and more.
4. Be willing to share and help via your willingness to Give more.
5. Avoid having Expectations that can make you miserable.
(Expect to be appreciated; to be Loved; to be promoted;
to be treated as equal... etc.
Monday, February 9, 2009
why do you forget things after being drunk???
Instead of getting into the brain chemistry about this question, I'll try to simplify it:
Your brain and body is smart and very adaptive . . . it knows what parts are needed at certain times. For example, when you go for a run, your brain and body push blood into your legs, as those are the needed parts to run. When you take a test, blood rushes into your brain for the same reason.
When you drink, your brain and body essentially does the same thing: it prioritizes what needs to be taken care of, and it prioritizes other parts of the brain (those needed to walk, speak, function, etc.) over those that can be put to the side (remembering stuff).
It comes down to chemistry and biology . . . you can't control it any more than you control how your computer works. That's just the way it is.
Good advice: don't drink so much that you shut down that part of your brain. Bad stuff happens then . . . take my word for it.
i got that answer from yahoo. its a very smart answer. i know. but i think, another good answer would be:
because you dot want to deal with what happened the night before.
hehe:) do i sound bitter? nah its just that, i rarely forget things when i'm drunk.
peace and love to all!
ciao!
a couple of my faves...
omg! if there is someone i look up to (at the moment), it would be bb gandanghari. i kinda wish the lovely tranny was my friend. i dunno. i just like her. aside from the fact that she's pretty, i like her attitude. its so "live and live" kumbaga. its just so positive... i need possitivity, and glam. and she has both. hehe:) i love that she's tall and wears great shoes, but i kinda hate that she's prettier than me... hehe:)
here are some pics taken by another person i look up to, niccolo cosme...
niccolo cosme is a photographer, and he models too! you might have seen a huge close up pic of him in Diego stores. as a photographer, he takes pictures for maldita and penshoppe. i just like his style, meaning the style, concept and opverall feel of his pictures. to see more of them, here is a link to his multiply site:
http://niccolocosme.multiply.com/photos
enjoy!
peace and love!
ciao!
here are some pics taken by another person i look up to, niccolo cosme...
niccolo cosme is a photographer, and he models too! you might have seen a huge close up pic of him in Diego stores. as a photographer, he takes pictures for maldita and penshoppe. i just like his style, meaning the style, concept and opverall feel of his pictures. to see more of them, here is a link to his multiply site:
http://niccolocosme.multiply.com/photos
enjoy!
peace and love!
ciao!
Saturday, February 7, 2009
i tried to discover a little something to make me sweeter...
i know its so cliche for a girl to be fickle, but... i wanna take back what i posted about not caring about or crushing on my crushie-wushie... :) hehe:) omg! crush kong si landi... i crush you! :)
and the other guy, i am not so sure about... but he's on my mind right now...
funny thing about last night is, i did not expect to get more than i bargained for. maybe i had too much of a good thing and i cant think straight! darn it! or maybe im just hung over. (i had the "swagger" and i was puking at mcdo matina kagabi... hehe:) anyway... il just record yesterday's events in this post.
in the afternoon, i went to school and had a door incident in the SR classroom. haha! konger said "wala man gud diri imong crush" as i was about to open the door. then when i was strugling with it for a second or two, "the dude" walks in thru the other doo. i look. and struggle with the door. then after many seconds of struggle with the knob, konger finally tells me it does not open. haha! and she was laughing at me the whole time. mura daw kog narattle. very bad. hehe:)
later, after konger's exam, we met marj. i miss marj. nagchismis mi. hehe:) i feel like i dont need to elaborate this part because nothing beats KE company... hehe:)
then, dinaanan ako ni pinggoy. haha! mamatay ko kay wala ko nagdahom na musakay iyang tito sa kotse. pinggoy was out, so when his tito got in i was shocked! i froze. i was not really sure if i should say something or not. then the moment passed me by, so i decided to wait for pinggoy. when he got there, nagulat yung tito niya diba?! he said he'd sue me. then pinggoy said "ndi, mahiyain lang siya." haha! nalipay ko kay mahiyain ko, for once! haha! then he introduced me as a sis... blahblahblah. i was so dying inside because of the booboo i made that i might have tortured pinggoy's leg. hehe:) sorry goy... and super thanks! ill try not to do it again... hehe:)
so we reach the tau mu dinner and it was fun. :D hehe:) after dinner, my sisses and i had cake at K1. they left, i decided to meet perry and oka at basti's brew. chikka galore! haha! then we left, for rizal. eb was with arman, mick, ceby, carmella, and later jonathan. so there. i am not really sure why i insisted on going there. maybe i should not have. oka left. hehe:) but there i was with perry. had a couple of beers in beeracay. i know, i said i wuld not go, but i was in a "go with the flow" mood... so yun! we were planning to go to urban by 1am. but lex also wanted to go to a bar... so yun. sabay-sabay na kami. i feel bad for ceby, kay nahubog siya. nakatulog na siya sa loob. but i guess it was not such a loss for him kay he went home with maine and crystal? or crysta? i dunno. basta yun! :) sorry talaga sa lex kay wala na nako nabantayan inyong bro. and late ko na nabasa ang tx ni eb. sorry. i hope ceby is not mad at me or something....
grabeh kakatag sa akong utok last night! the door thing... tpos i was on a high from the stressful car incident with pinggoy. i was downing beers like it was water. i bumped into LL, john tabz, tomas, roman, and other elder atty brods. lingaw. can you imagine?? it was kind of too much.
too much of a good thing is not always the most advisable thing to have. hehe:) but i loved the night! i love perry for being there with me up until mcdo matina. he's there as always. hehe:) thanks per! thank god! hehe:)
have a blessed sunday.
love and peace to all.
Ciao! :)
and the other guy, i am not so sure about... but he's on my mind right now...
funny thing about last night is, i did not expect to get more than i bargained for. maybe i had too much of a good thing and i cant think straight! darn it! or maybe im just hung over. (i had the "swagger" and i was puking at mcdo matina kagabi... hehe:) anyway... il just record yesterday's events in this post.
in the afternoon, i went to school and had a door incident in the SR classroom. haha! konger said "wala man gud diri imong crush" as i was about to open the door. then when i was strugling with it for a second or two, "the dude" walks in thru the other doo. i look. and struggle with the door. then after many seconds of struggle with the knob, konger finally tells me it does not open. haha! and she was laughing at me the whole time. mura daw kog narattle. very bad. hehe:)
later, after konger's exam, we met marj. i miss marj. nagchismis mi. hehe:) i feel like i dont need to elaborate this part because nothing beats KE company... hehe:)
then, dinaanan ako ni pinggoy. haha! mamatay ko kay wala ko nagdahom na musakay iyang tito sa kotse. pinggoy was out, so when his tito got in i was shocked! i froze. i was not really sure if i should say something or not. then the moment passed me by, so i decided to wait for pinggoy. when he got there, nagulat yung tito niya diba?! he said he'd sue me. then pinggoy said "ndi, mahiyain lang siya." haha! nalipay ko kay mahiyain ko, for once! haha! then he introduced me as a sis... blahblahblah. i was so dying inside because of the booboo i made that i might have tortured pinggoy's leg. hehe:) sorry goy... and super thanks! ill try not to do it again... hehe:)
so we reach the tau mu dinner and it was fun. :D hehe:) after dinner, my sisses and i had cake at K1. they left, i decided to meet perry and oka at basti's brew. chikka galore! haha! then we left, for rizal. eb was with arman, mick, ceby, carmella, and later jonathan. so there. i am not really sure why i insisted on going there. maybe i should not have. oka left. hehe:) but there i was with perry. had a couple of beers in beeracay. i know, i said i wuld not go, but i was in a "go with the flow" mood... so yun! we were planning to go to urban by 1am. but lex also wanted to go to a bar... so yun. sabay-sabay na kami. i feel bad for ceby, kay nahubog siya. nakatulog na siya sa loob. but i guess it was not such a loss for him kay he went home with maine and crystal? or crysta? i dunno. basta yun! :) sorry talaga sa lex kay wala na nako nabantayan inyong bro. and late ko na nabasa ang tx ni eb. sorry. i hope ceby is not mad at me or something....
grabeh kakatag sa akong utok last night! the door thing... tpos i was on a high from the stressful car incident with pinggoy. i was downing beers like it was water. i bumped into LL, john tabz, tomas, roman, and other elder atty brods. lingaw. can you imagine?? it was kind of too much.
too much of a good thing is not always the most advisable thing to have. hehe:) but i loved the night! i love perry for being there with me up until mcdo matina. he's there as always. hehe:) thanks per! thank god! hehe:)
have a blessed sunday.
love and peace to all.
Ciao! :)
Friday, February 6, 2009
hehe:)
okay. so last night, i was being antagonistic about a person... uhm... specifically ayer. hehe:)
i just do not know why my mood changes when he is around. i dunno if i its just me being self-conscious, or me getting irritated by his hangin, or me trying to figure him out (coz, admittedly, i have been fascinated by ayer, pwera malice).
anyway, last night, a bunch of us went out. we had fun actually. i decided on a few things... 1. friend ko siya. yes, i care about him. but only in the same manner that i care about charlen or any other classmate. 2. he does not piss me off. dili ko affected niya on a level na masuya ko sa iya. but dont get me wrong, i usually like arrogance and cockiness, but for his case, i just dont. hehe:) but dili na ko affected. thich brings me to my third realization. 3. nagincrease ang salig nako sa among friendship. he somehow affirmed it last night. i was doing crazy things and i realized that he is not as "dangerous" as helle and i used to perceive him. he can be "safe" pala. safe in a sense na you can do stupid/crazy/drunken things (to him) and he will not always/necessarily give it a malicious interpretation.
and here are some other things ai learned last night:
4. dili ako ang lowest sa oblicon exam1
5. ganahan na ko kang jam
6. mamiya ug buhi si billy. di pajud mananghid!
7. paranoia is quite dangerous.
8. lingaw si boss man sa videoke.
peace and love to all!
ciao!
i just do not know why my mood changes when he is around. i dunno if i its just me being self-conscious, or me getting irritated by his hangin, or me trying to figure him out (coz, admittedly, i have been fascinated by ayer, pwera malice).
anyway, last night, a bunch of us went out. we had fun actually. i decided on a few things... 1. friend ko siya. yes, i care about him. but only in the same manner that i care about charlen or any other classmate. 2. he does not piss me off. dili ko affected niya on a level na masuya ko sa iya. but dont get me wrong, i usually like arrogance and cockiness, but for his case, i just dont. hehe:) but dili na ko affected. thich brings me to my third realization. 3. nagincrease ang salig nako sa among friendship. he somehow affirmed it last night. i was doing crazy things and i realized that he is not as "dangerous" as helle and i used to perceive him. he can be "safe" pala. safe in a sense na you can do stupid/crazy/drunken things (to him) and he will not always/necessarily give it a malicious interpretation.
and here are some other things ai learned last night:
4. dili ako ang lowest sa oblicon exam1
5. ganahan na ko kang jam
6. mamiya ug buhi si billy. di pajud mananghid!
7. paranoia is quite dangerous.
8. lingaw si boss man sa videoke.
peace and love to all!
ciao!
Thursday, February 5, 2009
all my emotAe ends today.
my emo phase ends today.
i dont care if you always smell nice and look clean.
i dont care if you are a damn good flirt and look damn hot.
i dont care if you look good on ur kickass ride.
i just wont think about you, care too much about you or be affected by your existence. its too tiring. i just cant spare you the energy, time, and effort. besides, i really hate being in this crushy-wushy mode because it makes me all icky and mushy. and it does me no good, really.
so forget you!!!
peace and love to all!
ciao!
i dont care if you always smell nice and look clean.
i dont care if you are a damn good flirt and look damn hot.
i dont care if you look good on ur kickass ride.
i just wont think about you, care too much about you or be affected by your existence. its too tiring. i just cant spare you the energy, time, and effort. besides, i really hate being in this crushy-wushy mode because it makes me all icky and mushy. and it does me no good, really.
so forget you!!!
peace and love to all!
ciao!
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
"so kiss me hard, coz this will be the last time that i let you..."
people say that you should go after what you want, and that you should make things happen. take matters into your own hands. work hard for it. make sacrifices. blah blah blah. it all adds up to a bunch of crap when you finally realize that sometimes, YOU CANNOT FORCE THINGS.
for 2009 i--
--look forward to TyP; a clothing line my friend (and i) hope to launch.
--plan to loose weight so i can challenge myself to do the next one
--am thinking of joining a contest focused on vanity and the superficial aspect of a woman.
--hope to balance school and other fraca
--have to let go of the things that i must no longer hold on to (like soft spot for Xbf or exam papers from grade school)
--must focus on being a good friend to people who are good friends to me
--must make an attitude adjustment and be less prickly. hehe
--must be more forgiving and less verbose
--have to mask my feelings better.
love and peace to all!
ciao!
--plan to loose weight so i can challenge myself to do the next one
--am thinking of joining a contest focused on vanity and the superficial aspect of a woman.
--hope to balance school and other fraca
--have to let go of the things that i must no longer hold on to (like soft spot for Xbf or exam papers from grade school)
--must focus on being a good friend to people who are good friends to me
--must make an attitude adjustment and be less prickly. hehe
--must be more forgiving and less verbose
--have to mask my feelings better.
love and peace to all!
ciao!
rainbows, marshmallows and sunshine
i sometimes i could change my set of "friends" as easy as changing clothes. you know? in a second or two, their off you. throw it on the floor. leave it there. and walk away without a care in the world. if only you could only discard people like that, there would be no cause for angst or worry. relationships with people can be quite complicated, so it never works out that way.
there are just some people who can be so plastic to me. i just want to tiris them. i dont like it when people talk about me behind my back. i prefer that i hear what they have to say, no matter how unpleasant it might be. call it paranoia, but i really have this feeling that people are talking about me behind my back.
okay, to prove that this is not entirely kathang-isip, first i am going to cite this incident when i was hanging out with whats-her-face1 and whats-her-face2 and they were whipering to each other and occassionally making comments like "kakita ka?" mao na akong ingon gurl!" "invited" and all the other crap... eh hello!!! malamang isa sa amin sa room yun. eh lahat kami magkakilala. and even if it were not me, i certainly do not like the idea of any of my real friends being backstabbed, you #@$%!!! (sorry. whats-her-face1&2 just tick me off.) i have been playing nice pa ha? dont make me "unleash the fury..." that's only one.kasi kanina din, i was walking down the corridor tapos this boy and gurl were talking in very low voices. when i was like 3 or 2 meters away, si girl, siniko niya si boy tapos sabay ngiti na super sweet sa akin. hmm?? wouldnt you smell something??? i do! i smell plastikan too! okay, dalawa lang yun... that does not really constitute a "me-against-the-world" kind of drama, but there were other instances which i will not mention because i just dont know how to make them sound... ahm... not silly.
hehe:) i spoke to vince kanina. i did not really tell him about this crap, but he reminded me that you cant please everybody. then i remembered who i was. i was someone who did not give a flying F$#% what you think! besides, there is too much on my plate to swallow this crap.
i dont care if people hate me. whats the worst thing you can do? catapult yogurt from the top of the stairs to my head??? so cliche... think of something better because as law students, we are supposed to be better than that. we cannot lower our selves to the level of small minds who can not do anything better but gossip and make issues form out of the blue. ostracize me, all you want. if you have good reason, tell me if you can. because i know i did nothing wrong... except for maybe, deviate from what you have already set as the "lead, follow, or get out of the way" mentality. and that's not really a crime, is it now?
hey, its not really my fault if insecurities got the best of you and you succumbed to this mentality. its also not my fault if your so deep into this crap that you cannot dig yourself out, and the most you can do is blab about other people who do not do the same things you do. too bad for you, i can discard you if i wanted to. i just dont do it because it is beneath me. if i really wanted you off my back, i could just decide to change clothes, and dump you like trash.
peace!
feel free to hate me.
xoxo
ciao!
there are just some people who can be so plastic to me. i just want to tiris them. i dont like it when people talk about me behind my back. i prefer that i hear what they have to say, no matter how unpleasant it might be. call it paranoia, but i really have this feeling that people are talking about me behind my back.
okay, to prove that this is not entirely kathang-isip, first i am going to cite this incident when i was hanging out with whats-her-face1 and whats-her-face2 and they were whipering to each other and occassionally making comments like "kakita ka?" mao na akong ingon gurl!" "invited" and all the other crap... eh hello!!! malamang isa sa amin sa room yun. eh lahat kami magkakilala. and even if it were not me, i certainly do not like the idea of any of my real friends being backstabbed, you #@$%!!! (sorry. whats-her-face1&2 just tick me off.) i have been playing nice pa ha? dont make me "unleash the fury..." that's only one.kasi kanina din, i was walking down the corridor tapos this boy and gurl were talking in very low voices. when i was like 3 or 2 meters away, si girl, siniko niya si boy tapos sabay ngiti na super sweet sa akin. hmm?? wouldnt you smell something??? i do! i smell plastikan too! okay, dalawa lang yun... that does not really constitute a "me-against-the-world" kind of drama, but there were other instances which i will not mention because i just dont know how to make them sound... ahm... not silly.
hehe:) i spoke to vince kanina. i did not really tell him about this crap, but he reminded me that you cant please everybody. then i remembered who i was. i was someone who did not give a flying F$#% what you think! besides, there is too much on my plate to swallow this crap.
i dont care if people hate me. whats the worst thing you can do? catapult yogurt from the top of the stairs to my head??? so cliche... think of something better because as law students, we are supposed to be better than that. we cannot lower our selves to the level of small minds who can not do anything better but gossip and make issues form out of the blue. ostracize me, all you want. if you have good reason, tell me if you can. because i know i did nothing wrong... except for maybe, deviate from what you have already set as the "lead, follow, or get out of the way" mentality. and that's not really a crime, is it now?
hey, its not really my fault if insecurities got the best of you and you succumbed to this mentality. its also not my fault if your so deep into this crap that you cannot dig yourself out, and the most you can do is blab about other people who do not do the same things you do. too bad for you, i can discard you if i wanted to. i just dont do it because it is beneath me. if i really wanted you off my back, i could just decide to change clothes, and dump you like trash.
peace!
feel free to hate me.
xoxo
ciao!
come on baby, light my fire... (haha! cheesy titl!!)
i like the way you look at me.
i secretly hope i don't have dirt on my face.
i like how your fingers feel on my hands.
i secretly wish you just grab them and never let go.
i like how you try to figure me out.
i secretly wish i could know you better.
i like how you call me "suplada" to my face.
i secretly pray that you can handle my taray, and that it wont turn you off.
i like how you offer me yosi, and give me light.
i secretly wanna quit, but its one good excuse for me to talk to you.
i sound pathetic, i know. but i dont care. i just feel like getting carried away this time.
i am sick and tired of the complexities of life, and i wanna take refuge in you.
***acoustic version of lady gaga's pokerface is currently playing...
"cant read my... cant read my... no, he cant read my pokerface..."***
i secretly hope i don't have dirt on my face.
i like how your fingers feel on my hands.
i secretly wish you just grab them and never let go.
i like how you try to figure me out.
i secretly wish i could know you better.
i like how you call me "suplada" to my face.
i secretly pray that you can handle my taray, and that it wont turn you off.
i like how you offer me yosi, and give me light.
i secretly wanna quit, but its one good excuse for me to talk to you.
i sound pathetic, i know. but i dont care. i just feel like getting carried away this time.
i am sick and tired of the complexities of life, and i wanna take refuge in you.
***acoustic version of lady gaga's pokerface is currently playing...
"cant read my... cant read my... no, he cant read my pokerface..."***
Monday, February 2, 2009
the vengeance of hell boils in my heart (titl is unrelated to content)
shux! i lost to EB! badtrip... i dont have problems with losing, but its giving up what i bet in the first place that sux! i lost four hours of my precious time to become EB's slave. i actually lost it the moment i made the stupid bet. why did i do it??? i dunno really. i just konw i was mainly bored that time. i wanted to challenge them and push them to eally win it. i knew they had skills but i made the bet anyway. i know i had a good chance of losing, but i did it anyway. its one of those thing where youre not supposed to do something but you just couldnt help yourself and you just had to do it, and you did it and thus it had dire consequences... whatever. i think i'm going to live up to the bet i made. at lest i can say i lived a little by risking it. hehe! 4 hours of slavery is such a huge risk! haha! whatever. friends naman kami, so ayos lang.i just hope di na malisyahan ng mga panget ito! nyahaha! bug off, haters!
love and peace!
ciao!
kachorvahan sa life 1
para lang sa ako ang post na ni. di lang ko gusto makalimot. hehe:)
i just realized that the men i "kinda like(d)" in a span of 1 year all have common denominators: law school and basketball.
so you can just imagine how i felt nung conflicts diba?! haha!:) ghad! it would have been too much if i was not so tired and if i was thinking clearly... buti nalgn low-bat ako that time and i was not able to feel everything the experience had to offer. haha!
first, sa exhibition game ng alumni Vs residents... hehe:) nagdula akong kras na itago nako sa pangalang atty. Killerwitts kay witty ra jud siya. hehe:) ug sa dihang! nakalaban niya si mr. dili-kras pero-fascinating. tapos funny silang duha for me kay sige ra silag ka-foul sa eachother ra pajud! hehe:) wala lang. murag ironic kaayo para nako. hehe:)
tapos sa following day, nagdula si papi chulo! haha! with mr. dili-kras-pero-fascinating! ug kateam nilang duha si mr. knight guy! haha! katong nagdagan-dagan sila kay nalingaw jud ko! haha! bago ra diay ko naganahan ni mr. knight guy... nice man gud siya nako. i dunno if this "like" will last though... kay niceness begets niceness ra pud baya usahay.
murag katong social experiment na ang pinaka lesson kay "the liking you express is reciprocated" but then the intensity of the liking expressed is questionable... diba? basta! mabuhay si darna! :)
love and peace!
ciao!
i just realized that the men i "kinda like(d)" in a span of 1 year all have common denominators: law school and basketball.
so you can just imagine how i felt nung conflicts diba?! haha!:) ghad! it would have been too much if i was not so tired and if i was thinking clearly... buti nalgn low-bat ako that time and i was not able to feel everything the experience had to offer. haha!
first, sa exhibition game ng alumni Vs residents... hehe:) nagdula akong kras na itago nako sa pangalang atty. Killerwitts kay witty ra jud siya. hehe:) ug sa dihang! nakalaban niya si mr. dili-kras pero-fascinating. tapos funny silang duha for me kay sige ra silag ka-foul sa eachother ra pajud! hehe:) wala lang. murag ironic kaayo para nako. hehe:)
tapos sa following day, nagdula si papi chulo! haha! with mr. dili-kras-pero-fascinating! ug kateam nilang duha si mr. knight guy! haha! katong nagdagan-dagan sila kay nalingaw jud ko! haha! bago ra diay ko naganahan ni mr. knight guy... nice man gud siya nako. i dunno if this "like" will last though... kay niceness begets niceness ra pud baya usahay.
murag katong social experiment na ang pinaka lesson kay "the liking you express is reciprocated" but then the intensity of the liking expressed is questionable... diba? basta! mabuhay si darna! :)
love and peace!
ciao!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)