Wednesday, February 4, 2009

rainbows, marshmallows and sunshine

i sometimes i could change my set of "friends" as easy as changing clothes. you know? in a second or two, their off you. throw it on the floor. leave it there. and walk away without a care in the world. if only you could only discard people like that, there would be no cause for angst or worry. relationships with people can be quite complicated, so it never works out that way.

there are just some people who can be so plastic to me. i just want to tiris them. i dont like it when people talk about me behind my back. i prefer that i hear what they have to say, no matter how unpleasant it might be. call it paranoia, but i really have this feeling that people are talking about me behind my back.

okay, to prove that this is not entirely kathang-isip, first i am going to cite this incident when i was hanging out with whats-her-face1 and whats-her-face2 and they were whipering to each other and occassionally making comments like "kakita ka?" mao na akong ingon gurl!" "invited" and all the other crap... eh hello!!! malamang isa sa amin sa room yun. eh lahat kami magkakilala. and even if it were not me, i certainly do not like the idea of any of my real friends being backstabbed, you #@$%!!! (sorry. whats-her-face1&2 just tick me off.) i have been playing nice pa ha? dont make me "unleash the fury..." that's only one.kasi kanina din, i was walking down the corridor tapos this boy and gurl were talking in very low voices. when i was like 3 or 2 meters away, si girl, siniko niya si boy tapos sabay ngiti na super sweet sa akin. hmm?? wouldnt you smell something??? i do! i smell plastikan too! okay, dalawa lang yun... that does not really constitute a "me-against-the-world" kind of drama, but there were other instances which i will not mention because i just dont know how to make them sound... ahm... not silly.

hehe:) i spoke to vince kanina. i did not really tell him about this crap, but he reminded me that you cant please everybody. then i remembered who i was. i was someone who did not give a flying F$#% what you think! besides, there is too much on my plate to swallow this crap.

i dont care if people hate me. whats the worst thing you can do? catapult yogurt from the top of the stairs to my head??? so cliche... think of something better because as law students, we are supposed to be better than that. we cannot lower our selves to the level of small minds who can not do anything better but gossip and make issues form out of the blue. ostracize me, all you want. if you have good reason, tell me if you can. because i know i did nothing wrong... except for maybe, deviate from what you have already set as the "lead, follow, or get out of the way" mentality. and that's not really a crime, is it now?

hey, its not really my fault if insecurities got the best of you and you succumbed to this mentality. its also not my fault if your so deep into this crap that you cannot dig yourself out, and the most you can do is blab about other people who do not do the same things you do. too bad for you, i can discard you if i wanted to. i just dont do it because it is beneath me. if i really wanted you off my back, i could just decide to change clothes, and dump you like trash.

peace!
feel free to hate me.
xoxo
ciao!

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