lola is living. lola is leaving. lola's libing...

today, after two nights at cosmo, we buried my lola. she was the one and only lola i knew. now that she is gone, wala na akong lola.

her death means a lot of different things for the people whose lives she touched. for my tito, it was the end of the life of someone who lived by example. for my lola's only living sister, it was the end of the life of someone who was selfless. for my mom, it was the end of my lola's pain. for the preist, it was the beginning of a new journey. for my cousin, it meant na sinundo na siya ng lolo kong matagal na rin lumipas. for a relative with downe's syndrome, my lola's death was the end of her "happy days" kasi wala na daw magbibigay sa kanya ng durian at pera at kung ano pa. as for me, her death gave me answers to questions i have been asking myself recently.

during the wake, i was able to peice together a few things about my lola. i always wanted to have a meaningful or fruitful life. and my lola had a fruitful life. she was able to touch and change lives. she helped many people, by giving them jobs, sending them to school, providing shelter and shouldering medical expenses, etc. she had a farm with the hopes of improving the lives of the people around her, by employing them or para "magpundar at makatulong." she always said that if you wanted to help, "magpundar ka" para makatulong. i realized that at the rate i am going (where i always choose the easy way out), i am getting farther from my goal to become a woman for others. to live a meaningful life is to live a life of service... and no one ever said service was going to be easy. we should do what we can for ourselves to be stable enough to hold other people up.

my lola was a farmer. she was very practical and simple. my mother got that from her. i should get this from her too! she did not wear expensive clothes, but she provided the best there was for her children. the thing is, her children wanted to emulate her and often opted for the practical choice. she looked like she a farmer... but unlike the stereotype of a farmer, whenever anyone needed help, she was there. she always had plenty of money, yet it never seemed to be important to her...

dapat gayahin ko sya! :) wish me luck! hehe

we touch lives in a million different ways. we have a million ways to live life. whether or not we made good choices, our life's meaning is revealed to others in our death.

you know what? at this point, all i can hope for is to live a fruitful life and die happy. what i can do is, try to copy my lola's example, and learn from her life.

peace and love to all.
ciao!

ps. although saying goodbye to you makes me sad, i am happy that you are with the man you love and in the arms of the Lord. i shall always have you in my heart. i love you lola!