found this on FB--

BY: M.C. DUANE/LAMBING LANG ANG KATAPAT MO!!!!

WARNING:

SASAKIT ANG MGA MATA MO SA KAKABASA NITO
DAHIL ITO NA YATA ANG PINAKA-MAHABANG
BLOG NA ISINULAT KO NA MABABASA MO.....

Just loan me your EYES for 45 minutes, Walk with me...

* Isipin mo na lang kinukwentuhan kita habang naglalakad tayo sa Roxas BLVD. papuntang PIER *


PAUNANG SALITA: Minsan ang "utak" natin ay "walang puso", at kadalasan naman ang mga "puso" natin ay "walang utak". -duanesis of a.p.o.k.a.l.i.p.s.i.s.

( Ang Pahayag O Katotohanan At Lirikong Isinulat Para Sa Inaping Sugatan. )



CHAPTER I:

Pagkatapos ng masaya at matagal na relasyon paano ka nga ba makakabangon muli at magpapatuloy? O kahit sa maikling panahon lang kasi minsan kahit sandali mo pa lang nakilala yung tao eh minahal mo na din s’ya na halos katumbas ng pang-habang buhay na!! WOW PARE BIGAAAATTT!!! Ang hirap nga naman mag move-on lalo na minahal mo talaga yung tao at maganda naman ang pinagsamahan nyo pero dumating sa point na ‘hindi pala kayo talaga’… Super sad ang mode mo nito pero dapat kang gumawa ng paraan para ma-overcome mo ang iyong nararamdaman.

Sa buhay natin, may mga taong darating para ipalasap ang tinatawag nilang “pagmamahal”, may mag-iistay, may napadaan lang, at meron parang halos sumilip lang sa buhay mo sabay sibat! Shet!! Minsan may taong dumaan lang sa buhay mo para saktan ka at ipamukha sa’yo ang feeling kung paano din ang masaktan, mga naghahanap ng damay! Magpa-powertrip na yan at naiisip nya na.. “mukha kang matatag ah tingnan natin ang POWERS KO sa’yo ngayon!!” At ayan na, pag dumating na ang mga sandaling nahulog ka na sa “BALON” ng pagmamahal nya “HE or SHE GON’ CLIMB UP” naman pabalik sa itaas ng “BALON” na pinanggalingan nya na parang si SADAKO lang galing sa pintuan ng puso mong pinasukan lang nya para MAG-STOP OVER sandali at handa na ulit s’yang dumirecho sa kanyang tunay na patutunguhan.. sa kanyang totoong rota… UNFORTUNATELY, IYON AY HINDI SA DAANAN PAPUNTA SA PUSO MO. Wellz, that person ain’t ready to “FALL” for you that’s why. Well, congratulations N’ welcome to the club! NAYARE KA!!! =p

Bukod dyan, eh mas marami pang ibang MASASAKLAP na pangyayare at mga cases ng mga nabigo sa pag-ibig, at alam ko din na sawang-sawa na kayo sa kasabihan na “pag ikaw ay nadapa, bumangon ka”, kaya ngayon nag-isip si M.C. DUANE ng ibang mga paraan upang I-REPAIR AT GAMUTIN ANG MGA PUSO NATING SUGATAN. (So mekaniko na pala ako ng puso ngayon?) haha! para kasing kotse yung puso natin eh, pag mas mabilis ang “takbo”. . . (ang takbo na tinutukoy ko ay nagsasalarawan ng PINTIG at PAGTIBOK ng ating puso, naks!!) kaya pag mas mabilis ang takbo at nabangga ka… mas matindi ang DAMAGE!! TOTAL WRECK talaga!!! Pag nagdahan-dahan ka at nagmi-minor ka lang ng konti.. mabangga ka man eh hindi ka gaano masasaktan, parang puso din natin yan eh, dba? Eniweiz.. hindi ko sinasabi na wag na kayong maghamahal ng todo UNFAIR naman yun sa mga mamahalin nyo pa lang in the future, pero maglaan din kayo ng konti para sa sarili nyo, kasi paano kayo magmamahal ng ibang tao kung sarili nyo nga hindi nyo kayang mahalin??

Bigyan kita ng simpleng Halimbawa: Ikaw tinitipid mo ang sarili mo, sa pagkain, sa gamit etc. Pero pag bibili ka ng pang-regalo sa kinababaliwan mo na tao eh to the highest level ka!! NO LIMIT talaga parang si MASTER P, nakalimutan mo na din mag-ayos ng sarili mo, pumorma, bumili ng mga bagong damit mo, pabango etc. at TOOTHBRUSH N’ TOOTHPASTE na din kung medyo nananapak na ang hininga mo!! Sige ka wala nang hahalik sa’yo nyan kasi siguradong ma-na-KNOCK-OUT!! Haha!! GALANTE ka pagdating sa taong minamahal mo, ang tanong? Na-a-appreciate ba naman kaya nya ang “Ninoy Aquino International EFFORT” mo?? Hanggang paglipasan ka na ng panahon ni hindi mo na iniintindi ang sarili mo, Baka sa huli eh MAG-CRASH yang PUSO mo na parang EFLANE sa EFFORT!!! FWE!!! Punyetang “F” Virus yan!! At hindi mo na din napapansin mukha ka ng FALABOY este PALABOY SA LANSANGAN!!! NANGGIGITATA KA NA kakaisip sa kanya PURO NA LANG SIYA, SIYA… at SIYA!! O S’YA eto imajinin na natin ang worst case scenario… sa kabila ng mga ginagawa mong pagsuyo sa kanya eh ipinagpalit ka pa din nya sa iba or iniwan ka pa din nya, or binalewala nya lahat, pakshet!! Ngayon sino pang magkakagusto sa’yo mukha ka ng PULUBI SA DAAN! IBINUHOS MO LAHAT NG POWERS MO SA KANYA, kaya ngayon DRAINED na DRAINED ka na, kaya nawalan ka na ng gana sa lahat… Di ka na nag-aayos, puro sya kasi ang inintindi mo kaya ikaw ang napag-iwanan, tapos sya ngayon sisihin mo… YAN ANG MALI!! Well mali din talaga ang sisihin mo sya eh, wala kang magagawa.. di ka talaga nya TYPE, hindi naman nya kasalanan na magustuhan mo sya at mahalin mo sya eh, kaya pasensyahan na lang… kung mahal ka talaga nya kahit maging kamukha mo pa ang pwet ng lelong mo na puro burnik eh swerte ka, okies??

Kaya maglaan ng konti para sa sarili pero wag naman sobra kasi baka masyadong tumaas naman ang tingin mo sa sarili mo ngayon at masyado nang maging “PROUD” ang datingan mo at IKAW naman ngayon ang hindi iintindi sa nararamdaman ng iba eh TSI-TSINELASIN KO NG HAVAYABAS ANG PAGMUMUKHA MONG BATA KA!!! “Ganda mo ah!! AMPOGI mo ah!!!” Yan ang sasabihin ko sa’yo!! Lahat ng sobra masama, pag masyado namang kulang masama din, I-LEVEL MO LANG KAPATID yung tamang-tama lang ang timpla parang POP COLA!!! Mga kapatid, itong sinasabi ko sa inyo eh hindi ko naman sinasabing 100% na garantisado ‘to pero siguro kahit sa 1% lang ng mga sinasabi ko ay may mapupulot tayo at makakatulong sa atin kahit papaano, kaya kung gusto mo na talagang makalimot halika na sa byahe natin!!! (Sigurado ako pag yung mga ADIK ang nakarinig ng salitang BYAHE nagigiyang na yan hahahaha!!!)

Ok then let’s move on to my sh!t…..

Wellz, in my opinion, the first step in moving on is admitting N’ accepting the fact that it’s OVER. You broke up because the relationship is not working anymore. You just have to admit na hindi na talaga kayo pwede. If you’re meant to be, you’re meant to be.

Lalo lang kayong magkakasakitan pag ipinilit nyo pa nang BONGGANG-BONGA ang mga panget ninyong mga sarili sa isa’t isa!!! Haha jowc!! *PANGET PALA HA?? BAKIT PERPEK KA?! PERFECT KA??!!!* (LMFAO!!!) At higit sa lahat may mga tao pang pwedeng madamay sa LABSTORI nyo katulad na lang ng mga taong malalapit sa inyo at may care sa relasyon ninyo, kaya dapat magfocus ka na lang sa mga dapat i-prioritize- first and foremost, your relationship with God; your family and friends; your studies, your career (Parang showbiz ka lang ah! Taray!) and syempre yourself. Learn to appreciate N’ take care of yourself. Don’t think na walang nagmamahal sa’yo. Marami sila, nasa paligid mo lang and they will support you all the way at wag na wag ninyong kakalimutan ang PINAKA TARANTADO SA INTERNET!!! ANG WALANG KA-KWENTA KWENTANG SI GANGSTER RAPPER BOY M.C. DUANE of APOKALIPSIS na handang tumulong sa inyo nang bongga kahit puro MORAL SUPPORT lang… umaga, tanghale, gabe, madaling araw kahit sa merienda, breaktime at midnight snack! At wag na wag nyong kakalimutan ang recess!! Y’all know naman na ako ay handang magsulat ng mga NAKAKAPRANING NA BLOGS para totally makapag-move on ka na, sila, kayo at kung sinu-sino pa!! Oh N’ yeah, Remember: God is preparing the best Man/Woman for you. You just have to wait for the right time and right circumstance… You can’t move on unless you do that. A person in denial will never get past the stage of moving on. You have to ask yo’self din what lessons God wants you to learn sa nangyari sa inyo. I believe God allows us to experience these kinds of trialz N’ heartachez in life to make us grow stronger and wiser, y’knowhat i’m sayin?? =)

For starters, eto ang mga pwede mong gawin:

Nurture the pain for a while, it’s your right to hurt..

then if you get tired of crying N’ hurting. . .

you’ll know that there are a lot of other emotions that you deserve to feel..

then you’ll just let the time heal all wounds. . . ( TRU DAT!! )

Or kung gusto mo naman…

1. Isipin mo sya sa umaga
2. Isipin mo sya sa hapon
3. Isipin mo sya sa gabi at madaling araw at kahit pag leap year na din!

Pag nakakalimutan mo. . . isipin mo agad!!

Eventually, magsasawa ka na rin,

kakaisip, pag dating ng ilang araw pa,

kusa nang di mo naaalala,

mukhang UMAY na UMAY ka na huh!?!

PERO DEPENDE SA TAO YAN NOH!!

Minsan kasi sa buhay ng tao, meron tayong mamahalin ng sobra. At kung sino pa yung pinahalagahan mo at minahal ng sobra yun pa ang sobrang nakasakit sa atin. Sabi ng iba kung gaano ka daw nasaktan ganon mo din siya kamahal, kasi kaya ka nasasaktan kasi mahal mo, di ka naman daw masasaktan kung WALA LANG.

Ang heartaches kasama sa buhay natin yan eh. Pero paano nga ba ang gagawin mo pag yung sobrang minahal mo ay hindi pala para sa’yo? Iyon bang buong buhay mo pinangarap mo na sana siya na nga at sana kayo na FOREVER… Forever ever?? foreva eva?? for eva eva?!? TEKA SINO BA SI EVA?!! ALING EVA ECHOZERANG FROG KA NAMAN PANGGULO KA EH!! MAGULO KA PA SA PUBIC HAIR EH!!!! LOLS!!! Okay let’s continue.. Pero yung forever na yun ay hindi pala “siya”. Aray nako!! *OUCH!!!!*

OH YEAH!! IT’S LIKE DAMN!! LIKE WHOA!!!

Pinipilit mong intindihin pero hindi maabot ng tamang pag-iisip mo, kung bakit hindi pwede maging kayo. Masakit, oo sobrang sakit, kung baga sa kanta “ knife cuts like a knife how will I ever heal I’m so deeply wounded knife ” meron pa.. ” the first cut is the deepest ” o yung kay Michael V. na old skool song yung…

Sinaktan mo ang puso ko
Sinaksak mo ng kutsilyo
Binuhusan mo ng asido
Pinukpok ng martilyo

Sinaktan mo ang puso ko
Ngayon ako’y naghihingalo
Mauubusan na ‘ko ng dugo
Sinaktan mo ang puso ko

At marami pang kanta na sumikat dahil sa heartaches. Naiisip ko normal lang naman talaga ang masaktan eh. Kasi halos lahat ng tao nakakaranas nun… lyk forealz!!!

At dahil nakita ko sa aking FRIENDSTER, FACEBOOK, MYSPACE, TAGGED, BEBO, TWITTER, MULTIPLY, Hi5, ADULTFRIENDFINDER at BANGBUS na maraming nagtatanong kung paano daw ba mag move-on sa isang broken relationship ng magkasintahan, mag-asawa O kahit tipong M.U. lang basta may nararamdaman kayong FEELING NA KAKAIBA SA ISA’T ISA?? *TANG INA PAG-IBIG YAN!!!* =) Kaya eto naman ang sagot ko: Depende siguro sa sitwasyon kung paano ka nasaktan. May iba’t iba kasing sitwasyon eh tulad nito:

1. Sobrang minahal mo na sya, parang kayo na… na hinde. Kahit saan mo tingnan sadyang (ANG GULO sa lahat ng ANGGULO!!), umiikot ang mundo mo sa kanya, pero nang tumagal nag-iba na sya ng hangarin, iba na ang nararamdaman sa’yo. Dati parang M.U. kayo na di nyo mawari, ngayon hanggang kaibigan na lang talaga ang tingin sa’yo, parang ang dating nag-a-audition ka muna sa kanya. Minsan hirap pa s’yang sabihin sa’yo kaya lalo kang maguguluhan, yung tipong gusto mo ng itanong sa kanya na “ANO BA TALAGA TAYO?? HINDI NGA TAYO PERO BAKIT NATIN GINAGAWA ANG MGA BAGAY NA’TO?? ANO BA TALAGA AKO SA BUHAY MO?? PAMPALIPAS ORAS LANG BA AKO?? SINASABI MO NA NAMIMISS MO AKO… AT NAMIMISS DIN NAMAN KITA at alam ko din na ITONG TRATO NATIN SA ISA’T ISA ay “MORE THAN JUST FRIENDS” at “LESS THAN MAGJOWA” kasi HINDI NAMAN TAYO, PARANG M.U. NA HINDI??! PERO SANA HINDI MO NA LANG IPINADAMA YAN SA’KIN, KASI BAKA HANAP-HANAPIN KO NA ‘TO EH… DI BALE SANA KUNG WALA KANG BALAK ITIGIL YAN, PERO SANA HINDI MO NA LANG IPINARAMDAM, kung AALIS ka rin lang…” Pero wala kang lakas ng loob sabihin kasi natatakot ka sa mga pwede nyang sabihin na hindi lang magiging maganda sa pang-unawa mo at baka masaktan ka lang agad lalo DAHIL PINILIT MO SYA AT MINADALI MO LAHAT ANG MGA PANGYAYARE EH KAYA DAHIL DYAN MA-PE-PRESSURE LANG SYA NA ANG MAGIGING RESULTA AY IKAIINIT LANG DIN NG ULO NYA AT PAGKAINIS SA’YO KAYA IMBES NA MAGANDA ANG MARIRINIG MO EH MAKAKATIKIM KA LANG NG MGA MASASAKIT NA SALITA NG DI ORAS, kaya minsan palilipasin mo na lang ang panahon at ikaw ay “mag-go-GO WITH THE FLOW” na lang muna kahit alam mo na naman sa sarili mo na sa “IMBURNAL PA DIN NG REJECTION” aanurin ang iniaalay mo na pagmamahal sa kanya, minsan paaasahin ka pa, akala mo may hinihintay ka pero wala naman talaga, kasi wala naman syang sinabing maghintay ka eh, tipong PAKIRAMDAMAN na lang ang labanan, nangyayare yan kahit dun sa mga NAGLILIGAWAN pa lang, M.U. = Malabong Usapan at NAGKAKAMABUTIHANG PUSO, Isang napakalaking PALAISIPAN yan. Walang sinabi ang Crossword Puzzle!!! =)

2. Sabi nya friendship is all he/she can offer. Pagkatapos ng lahat sasabihin nya cool off muna tayo, after a week or so friends na lang tayo. Haller? pwede ba yun? friends? can ex-lovers be friends? Mahirap yun. Pero in my case posible na yun, napag-aaralan na yan… “KUNG GUSTO MAY PARAAN, KUNG AYAW MAY DAHILAN”-lyrics ko yan sa underground song namin na apokalipsis nung 1997!! pino-promote ko pa?? hahahaha!! =)

3. O kaya… it’s not you, it’s me.. (WOW!!! YAN ANG DIALOGUE NI MARICAR REYES SA COMMERCIAL NYA NG KFC HOT N’ SPICY CHICKEN, REMEMBER??) So ayun na nga, it’s not you, it’s me.. hindi ikaw ang problema .. ako… Mga tamang alibi ba. KAYA KUNG AKO SA’YO GAYAHIN MO YUNG KA-PARTNER NYA SA TV AD NA YUN ng kfc AT SUMIGAW KA NA LANG DIN NG “HOOOOOOOOOO!!!!” na parang na-anghangan ka lang sa maaanghang sa salita nya sa’yo!! hahahaha!!

4. Eto ang mas masakit, ” Hindi na kita mahal, meron nang iba ”…. nangyayare din ito madalas sa mga MAG-ASAWA kasi minsan NAGKAKASAWAAN na sila, kaya pag may isa sa kanila na di matanggap ang desisyon ng bawat isa sa kanilang mag-asawa…. (KUMUHA NG LUBID, KUMUHA NG LASON, KUMUHA NG BARIL NA KWARENTA’Y SINGKO, PUMUNTA SA TULAY, LUBID AY ITALI, UMINOM NG LASON at IKAW AY MAGBIGTI, SABAY BARIL SA ULO!!) Morbid!!! Hindi kita binibigyan ng idea ha!! Mas masarap pa din mabuhay lalo na pag sinusuwerte ka kahit gawin mo pa ang mga bagay na yan tapos may HIMALANG magaganap na katulad nito… (NANG MAGBARIL KA SA ULO ITO’Y DUMAPLIS, TINAMAAN ANG LUBID kaya NALAGOT ITO sa KINAKAPITANG TULAY at IKAW AY NAHULOG sa ILOG at NAKAINOM KA NG TUBIG KAYA NAILUWA MO ANG ININOM NA LASON!!! HAHAHA!!! ANGAS DI’BA??! Ibig sabihin hindi mo pa talaga oras!!! Kasi MASAMANG DAMO KA!!! Magbagong buhay ka na!!!

5. OR.. Ikaw lang ang may nararamdaman.. one sided love ba.

At marami pang scenario kung paano ka nasaktan, y’knowhat?? madami pang iba. Ang hirap … kasi kung mahal na mahal mo tapos ganyang mga approach ang maririnig mo, malamang kung di malakas ang tolerance mo sa pain mabaliw ka na. Una tatanungin mo ang sarili mo ..

BAKIT? BAKIT AKO PA? WALA NAMAN AKONG KASALANAN!!! NAGMAHAL LANG AKO?? PUTRAGIS!!!

Minsan sinisisi mo pa yung NASA TAAS kung bakit nangyayari sa iyo ito? Bibitawan ang mga katagang “Ano ang gagawin ko?” Bigla na lang tutulo ang luha mo… bababa ang tingin mo sa sarili mo, iisipin mo unlikable ka, LOSER, *You’re such a LOSER YAYA!!!* Walang kwenta, Walang kasing panget and Wala ng magtyatyagang magmahal sa’yo N’ all that crap na puro pagse-self pity na lang ang ginawa mo sa sarili mo! Hmf!! Sadyang nakakababa talaga ng self-esteem pag yung taong gusto mo hindi mo makuha kahit anong gawin mo. . . Mahirap kalaban ang puso lalo na ang ego.

Yung iba gagawa ng paraan para mawala ang sakit na nararamdaman.. magwawala, kung dati good girl.. ngayon ang tawag sa kanya ” GOOD GIRL GONE BAD ” sisirain ang sarili dahil lang dun. Kung lalaki naman syempre good boy naging BADBOY.

*well kung si M.C. DUANE ang tatanungin nyo.. eh dati na akong BADBOY, pero nasa lugar naman* =)

Yun iba maglalasing, lulunurin ang sarili sa alak para mawala yung sakit na nararamdaman pero pag gising mo bukas doble ang balik sayo.. BROKEN HEARTED ka na nga BROKEN HEAD ka pa! Kasi masakit ang ulo mo sa HANG-OVER pero andun pa din ang sakit sa puso mo. YIKES!!! Kaya BLAME IT ON THE A-A-A-A-A-ALCOHOL. . . ISISI MO SA A-A-A-A-A-ALKOHOL!!!!!!!! hahahahahahaha

Yun iba naman maghahanap ng PANAKIP BUTAS/REBOUND which is not advisable kasi lalo lang lalala ang sitwasyon, may mga tao ka pang masasaktan at idadamay para mawala lang yan sakit na nararamdaman mo.

CHAPTER II:

Kaya ang tanong ng bayan… anu-ano ba ang mga paraan na makakatulong kahit konti, para tulungan ang sarili mo na makapag move-on?

CHECK THIS OUT!!! You’ve broken up with your significant other. Now what? Do you jump into work? Or ja-jump ka sa San Juanico Bridge?? Get a hobby? Go out with someone else right away? OOPS!! Hinay-hinay lang…. Here are some tips to help you out.

1. Umiyak ka - Iiyak mo lang, hindi masama umiyak, pag sobrang sama na ng loob mo, minsan masarap umiyak, kahit lalaki ka pa umiyak ka lang, kahit MUKHA KANG BOUNCER, SUMO WRESTLER, BODYGUARD O MGA DAMBUHALANG MGA NILALANG KAHIT HINDI BAGAY SA’YONG UMIYAK…. UMIYAK KA PA DIN!!! MAGTAGO KA SA C.R.!!! TAPOS PAG NAHULI KANG LUMULUHA SABIHIN MO PINAGPAPAWISAN LANG YUNG EYEBALLS MO KASI GLOBAL WARMING NA!!! O KAYA NAKALUNOK KA NG ISANG TIMBANG SUKANG PAUMBONG O KAYA NAG-GAYAT KA NG ISANG KILONG SIBUYAS KASI GAGAWA KA NG KILAWIN!!! Hahahahaha!! CRY ng CRY until you die!! Nakakagaan yun ng pakiramdam. Syempre sa tagong lugar ka umiyak or sa mga friends mo. Minsan masarap pag may humahagod sa likod mo habang umiiyak ka at habang tumutulo ang UHOG mo sige I-BLOW mo lang ng I-BLOW tapos DO THE HAGOD!!! SA LIKOD HA!!! At tiyak ko pagkatapos mong umiyak luluwag ang naninikip mong dibdeb!! I, THANK YOU!!! BOW!!

2. KUMANTA KA!!!! - Madalas nagvi-videoke ang mga SAWI, dun nila nailalabas ang mga sama ng loob nila, mabenta dyan ang mga awiting “SAAN, SAAN AKO NAGKAMALI?” sabay maglalakad-lakad ng dahan-dahan at titingin sa malayo matapos basahin ng tipid ang lyrics sa videoke…

MARAMI SILANG TAWAG DYAN, (BIDYO-OKE, BEB-JU-KI- at VIDEO-OKAY??) at hindi ko lubos maisip kung saang wika nila isinalin-salin ANG SALITANG yan!! BAKA HANGO SA WIKANG BANYAGA NG MGA DUGONG BUGHAW na BRITON at PRANCES na tubong Jaro Iloilo, kung paano nangyari ang mga iyon ay hindi ko alam problema na nila yun bahala sila sa buhay nila!! Basta may kumakanta na tono lang ang sinasabayan, mali-mali ang lyrics, medyo IS-LENGG pa minsan pero baluktot naman talaga ang dila at ang pagkaka-slang ng mga hayup habang tinitingnan pa kung nagana ang mic nila kaya panay ang HELLO.. HELLO.. pero tamang pa-kyut lang naman habang kinakanta ang….

“WELKAM TU DI HOWTELLL KAL-LI-PORN-NYAAAHH!!! SATZ A LABLI PLEYZ, Hello? Mic test! Hello?! SATZ A LABLI PLEYZ!!”

at parang may namatayan o nasusunugan ng bahay habang sumisigaw ng bongga sa mic ang mga HIJO DE POOOTAH!!!

at ang isa pang kanta na nabasa ko sa KAPITAN SINO ni BOB ONG na nakakatuwang kantahin kasi TAGALIZED NG KONTI ANG LYRICS….

“Nating sgona change my lab por you, YOU KNOW NAMAN MY LAB how much I lab you, deworld may change my whole layp tru but nating sgona change my lab por youuuuuu!!!!”

Hahahahaha!!! PARANG TANGA LANG DI’BA?? Pero ang mahalaga nailalabas nila ang hinanakit nila sa matinding imbensyon ng mga taga RAON, QUIAPO at ARRANGQUE boys ang inasembol na VIDEOKE MACHINE!!! At eto ang pinakamatinding tanong na itatanong sa inyo. . . .

ARE YOU HAVING FUN?!

-(laging lumalabas sa videoke machine screen bago iskoran ng 100 points ang TALENTADONG MANG-AAWIT kahit na alam naman ng lahat na mas sintunado pa ang boses nya sa BAKLANG NAIPITAN NG LITED sa pagkanta ng MY WAY!!!) Hala kayo!! Pagkatapos nyong kantahin yang My Way eh baka paglamayan na din kayo ng di oras!!! Agawan kasi ng agawan sa mic eh!! Akala ko ba mga Badap lang ang nag-aagawan sa mic?!! LOLS!! (^^,)

3. Accept the Reality - Accept the fact that the relationship is over. Do not give yourself unrealistic fantasies that you might get back together one day. Respect the fact that the relationship had it’s time, but has no ran out ways to work. This was a chapter in your life that has now closed N’ you are now ready to grow N’ enter another chapter of your life. Kagaya lang din yan ng sinabi ko sa mga ibang blogs ko eh… “REALITY BITES… MINSAN MAY RABIES PA!!!”.

4. Develop new skillz or learn some new skillz - Focus mo na lang ang atensyon mo sa ibang bagay, tulad ng pag aaral ng bagong skill, pwede ka ding mag-blog katulad ng ginagawa ng “inyong lingkod” EHEM!!!, or mag-aral kang mag-drive, mag-aral kang magluto kung di ka marunong.. that way makakalimutan mo na yung misery mo, may bago ka pang natutunan!! Libangin mo sarili mo.. Meaning wag kang mag focus sa kakaisip sa heartache mo, kasi the more na iniisip mo lalo ka lang mahihirapan.

5. STAY AWAY FROM HIM/HER - The best thing singles can do immediately upon a breakup is to get rid of all those sappy, sentimental items you have laying around. That means deleting his/her number from your cell phone, dapat lang pati number nya burahin mo na sa phone mo, para hindi ka na ma-tempt na i-text s’ya. Lahat ng memories nya itapon mo na kung gusto mo mag move on… “TEKA PARANG LUMALABAS KUNSINTIDOR PA AKO AH??” haha! Kasi the more na nakikita mo mga gamit nya, maaalala mo pa din sya, Kaso yung iba dyan binura na nga yung number PERO KABISADONG-KABISADO PA DIN NAMAN!!! Hehe!! Basta kung gusto mo maka move-on dapat lahat ng bagay na nakakapag-paalala sa kanya iwasan mo na, ERASE… ERASE… ERASE… or ibigay mo sa basurero yung mga pictures of you two together, N’ tossing all the cards and letters na parang CONFETTI LANG SA MAKATI AVENUE PAG MAY RALLY!!!! Hahahaha!!! Keeping those items will only serve to put you in a state of prolonged nostalgia. One day down the road you might look back fondly at the times you had with your ex. But until you can gain the clarity to see your relationship objectively, don’t torture yourself with constant reminders. Allow yourself to be angry and sad in a healthy way aight?! It’s the gangster tawkin yo!!

6. Free will - Sarili mo lang ang makakatulong sa’yo. Dapat kung gusto mo kalimutan ang isang tao, meron kang sapat na kakayahan na gawin yun. Dapat talagang gusto mo. Kasi kahit sundin mo lahat ng sinasabi ko kung hindi ka pa ready, USELESS lang din.. ndi ka talaga makakamove on. Lahat may rason, kaya dapat may rason ka din bakit mo gusto gawin ito.

7. Love yourself - Para masabi mo sa sarili mo na karapat-dapat kang mahalin, mahalin mo muna sarili mo. Paano ka mamahalin ng tao kung sarili mo ayaw mo? ilang beses ko na sinabi yan di’ba? Inuulit ko lang para di mo makalimutan!! Love yourself ika nga, magpaganda/magpagwapo ka. Improve yourself. Tapos ngumiti ka.. yan ang pinakamurang pangpaganda/pangpagwapo. SMILE!!!! ;)

8. Keep yourself busy - Ituon mo ang sarili sa career, sa studies (matutuwa pa parents mo nyan), mga extra curricular activities… Maganda ma-involved sa sports or mag join ng iba’t-ibang club, siguradong makakakilala ka ng mga taong kapareho mo ng hilig at curiosity. Kung pansin mo naman na tumataba ka na or kailangan mo mag gain ng weight punta ka sa gym or try aerobics.

9. Stay more close to your family - Maging open ka sa kanila at ilabas yung sakit na nararamdaman mo. Alam nila anong makakabuti sa’yo at handang magbigay ng advice na tiyak kong makakatulong sa nagdurugo mong puso!! * anobaah! :D *

10. Be with your friends - // DRINKING SESSION // CHILL-OUT // GUMIMIK // SLEEPOVERS // MALLING // SHOPPING // WINDOW-SHOPPING (mamili ng mga bintana) // Kadalasan nakakalimutan natin sila o di kaya hindi na nakakasama tulad ng dati na wala ka pang karelasyon or ka M.U. or nakakamabutihang-puso, Pero true!! Kapag nawala na si bf/gf, si friend nandyan pa din, AKO NANDITO PA DIN =) sasalo sa’yo at handang dumamay sa ano mang hinanakit mo.

11. BLOGGING - Pwede mong ilabas yung mga saloobin at mga nararamdaman mo dito, pwedeng mga experiences mo sa LOVE etc. and I’m sure makakatulong ka pa sa iba na makakabasa ng blogs mo! HAINAKU PARANG KILALA KO YANG TAO NA YAN!! wushu!!! achu-chu-chu!!! =p

12. Subukan mong gawin ulit yung mga bagay na kadalasan mong ginagawa noon nung wala pa si ex-bf/gf - I’m sure may ilan sa kanila na super nag-eenjoy ka noon pero dahil nga sa masyadong natuon ang time mo sa bf/gf mo eh ‘di mo na nagawa pa.

13. Focus on You - Take some time to get to know yourself again before you get involved with someone else. Know what you really need and deserve and what you are ready to give another person. When you are sure about what you are willing to give and to receive, you will be able to find a partner who will suit you well. Treat yourself. Help yourself by getting a new outfit, haircut or make-over. The old saying is true, you feel better when you look great. It is also a wonderful spring board to getting back in the dating pool.

14. Learn from It - Everything is a learning experience, so use it your advantage! Look over your relationship N’ list what went good about it N’ what went wrong. Para lang yang… “Saan, saan ako nagkamali??” LOL!! Use these notes as a tool to improve your relationships skills. Life can seem like a pretty bleak place when you’ve just weathered a break up. But keep in mind, the relationship with your ex is over for a reason: you weren’t right for each other. That means the one absolutely perfect for you is still out there. Kung babae ka… malay mo AKO NA YUN!!! yiheeee!! ( kapal! ) at kung lalake ka.. it’s my bad!!! Sorry all circuits are busy now… hindi ako pumapatol sa kapwa ko barako kaya please try your call next summer!!! Oh well, N’ picture the right person for you and the kind of relationship you want out of life. Remember, you deserve to be happy. Know when it’s time to date again. When you’ve given yourself enough time to work through your emotions, then you can begin to date again. The amount of time needed for this varies with the people involved and the specifics of the relationship. Gage emotions about your ex honestly, and if you’re not overcome at the very thought of them, work on meeting new people. Aim for a state of indifference. In other words, it’s okay to get a slight twinge upon seeing your ex; it’s not okay to suddenly want to throw a plate at their head. Tsk tsk tsk that’s baaadd!!

15. Never Generalize - Madalas kong sinasabi sa mga blog ko ‘to!! Wag ninyong ISISISI SA LAHAT ANG PAGKAKAMALI NG ISA!!! Going through a break up does cause you emotional withdrawal N’ pain, which may cause you to generalize everyone you meet or choose to date. Keep in mind that everyone is an individual with their own unique qualities N’ personalities and your encounters with them will not carry the same experiences as your ex-relationship. Now that’s what I’m tawkin’ about!!

16. Flirt and date, (KUNSINTIDOR TALAGA ANG LOLO MO!!!) But don’t rebound - What’s the difference, you ask? When you flirt and date, you open yourself up to new people and to the possibility of love. When you rebound, you immerse yourself immediately into a new relationship that isn’t exactly right in an attempt (sometimes consciously, sometimes unconsciously) to distract yourself from your pain.. says duane =)

17. Feel the sadness AGAIN - Dang!! I know, I know! You’ve cried about your ex enough o’ready. Unfortunately, discovering that he or she is dating somebody new is bound to re-open your wound, YIKES!!! No matter how “over it” you thought you were. This is normal. Allow yourself to experience the pain once again. The good news is that this blow won’t last nearly as long as the one right after the split.

18. Stay Healthy - Eat right, Stay Fit, Exercise, Work out, Hit the gym thrice a week or everyday depende sa schedule mo. Get enough sleep. In short, don’t let the break up make you physically sick, nah mean??! When your body is healthy, you feel good. When you feel good, you make good decisions and have a healthy self-esteem. Picture the day when you’ll be happy again.

19. Wish your EX well - Be happy that he or she has found love again. After all, this is somebody who has meant a lot in your life. You should want happiness and love for your ex. You will have happiness and love again too, so there is no need to be bitter. Chalk it up to fate, they say that timing is everything. They say that if two people are meant to be together, they will be together. If your ex has found a better match for him or herself, then you too will find a better match for yo’self.

And last but not least sa mga nabanggit ko;

20. Maging mas malapit kay God. Magdasal ka - Getting over with someone is a tough one pero sureness madali kang makakapagmove on kung meron ka nito! Humingi ka ng strength sa MAYKAPAL para kayanin lahat ng pagdadalamhati mo. Without the help of God we can’t do nothing sabi nila. Thank him, kahit sa heartaches pasalamatan mo sya, tapos magsumbong ka sa kanya, lahat ng nararamdaman mo sabihin mo sa kanya. Magugulat ka na lang dahil pagkatapos mo mag-pray ang gaan na ng pakiramdam mo.

Hindi naman ito mahirap gawin basta ba ready ka na mag move-on! ;)

CHAPTER III:

Minsan kasi may mga bagay na kahit anong gusto nating manatili sa buhay natin, kahit anong panalangin o pag-iyak ang gawin mo kung talagang hindi para sa’yo wala kang magagawa. Maglumuhod ka man araw-araw, magpakabuti para lang maisakatuparan ang bagay na ninanais mo pero sa di inaasahang pagkakataon di pa rin pwede. WACHU GON’ DO??

Bakit ba ang hirap tanggapin na kung ano pa yung pinaka gusto mo eh hindi talaga pwedeng maging sa’yo. Yung isang bagay na pinanghahawakan mo dahil yun lang ang pinakamagandang alaala na nangyari sa’yo tapos yun pa ang mawawala. Iiyak ka sa isang tabi (P.T.L.) na Parang Tanga Lang, kahit hindi mo isipin parang nang-aasar na yun pa rin palagi ang sumasagi sa isip mo. Pilit mong nilalabanan ang sarili mo na wag magpatalo sa emosyon mo pero… parang isang sirang plaka ng DJ na sumasagi sa isip mo na wala na.. hindi na pwede.. tapos na.. bumitaw ka na..

Mahirap.. kahit parang unggoy kang naka-kapit sa sanga kung yung sangang kinakapitan mo ay nabali na.. ang sabi nang iba, kung mabali man ang sanga itatali daw nya uli yun para lang makakapit ka uli.. pero diba pag nabali na ang sanga.. mamamatay na rin ito… kahit pa itali mo sya..

DRAMARAMA talaga ang tema ng blog ko pag seryosong pag-ibig ang napapag-usapan, senting-senti, EMO, kaya AMBOT SA EMO!!! Lungkutan talaga, hindi kasi yan mawawala sa isip mo kaya kelangan mo ilabas. Para kang mawawalan ng hininga kasi yung bagay na pinahahalagahan mo nagkaroon na ng katapusan. Hindi na pwede.. kaso mahal na mahal mo yung tao na yun? Pinipilit mong magpakatatag pero..

BAKIT ANG ISIP PARANG MAS MATALAS PA SA KUTSILYO KUNG MAKASUGAT?? korak!!!

Minsan mas gugustuhin mo na lang matulog palagi para yung sakit hindi mo maramdaman.. o much better sana hindi ka na lang magising para tapos na ang paghihirap mo.. pwes IPAPALIBING KITA!!! hahaha!! Biro lang!! Mahal na din pala magpalibing ngayon kaya itatapon na lang kita sa ilog Pasig!!

Pero kung ganon naman ang gagawin mo.. lalabas kang DUWAG.. ang hirap makipaglaban sa utak at puso.. para mabawasan ang sakit umiinom ka ng alak.. nilulunod mo ng alak yung lalamunan mo.. araw-araw sunod-sunod.. pero bakit pag nahimasmasan ka nandun pa din ang sakit.. kahit isang baldeng luha na ang iniyak mo bakit andun pa din yun katotohanan na wala na..

Pero, tinatanong mo sa sarili mo na.. ano nga ba talaga yun nagti-trigger ng sakit sa atin? Iyon bang pagtanggap na talo na tayo wala na tayong magagawa dun..or yung EGO ba.. o yung pagtanggap ng katotohanan na lahat ng mga alaala ay mababalewala na. Pero kung ano pa man ang dahilan andun pa din ang sakit.. DAYM!!! Sakit na kelangan mo na ngang mag let go.. kahit mahirap kelangan mong maging matatag.. dahil kelangan mong tanggapin na walang permanente sa mundong ito.. lahat kumukupas.. lahat nagbabago.. at ang tangi mo na lang magagawa ay ang pagtanggap.. pagbitaw.. at pagpaparaya.. hindi ba mas masarap yung pakiramdam na nagpapatawad ka.. yung kahit masakit sa puso mo.. wala ka namang magagawa .. imbes na isumpa mo yung tao o magalit ka.. hindi ba mas maganda kung mag-wish ka para sa tao ng mabuti.. dahil minsan may pinagsamahan din kayo.. at lalo pa minahal mo s’ya.. mahirap magparaya.. pero balang araw alam ko na may mga pintuan na magbubukas para sa katulad mo, sa kanila, sa atin, sa akin, ako… AKO MISMO?? Kase ikaw namiss ko =p ANG KORNIII MO!!! Waaahh!!! PARANG AKO LANG AH!! PARANG AKO LANG ANG MASAYA AH!!! Hahahahahaha!! Anak ka ng EMO ka!!! BAKIT HINDI KA PA NAGLASLAS?!! =p

Speaking of LASLAS, may ibang mga tao na matindi ang DEPRESSION NA NARARAMDAMAN SA KATAWAN, ibang klase yon, yun yung mga READY TO DIE na talaga ANYTIME at makakita lang ng kahit ano na pwedeng lagukin.. Halimbawa: Makakita lang ng SHAMPOO… eh TATAGAYIN NA NYA KAAGAD YUN KAHIT WALANG CHASER na KLOROX O KAYA PULUTAN NA BLADE, or LSD… (Lason Sa Daga…. yung Dora Rat Killer ginagawang mani!), minsan pa nga ang iniinom MURIATIC ACID, LIQUID SOSA, THINNER, ALCOHOL AT IBA PANG MGA LIKIDO NA NAKAMAMATAY PAG NILAGOK, kadalasan itong may nakalagay sa label nito na “KEEP OUT OF REACH OF CHILDREN” eh putcha paano naman yung mga hindi na “CHILDREN” at MATATANDA na kaso DEPRESS na gustong inumin ito?? Kailangan pa din na HINDI NILA MA-REACH ang produktong iyon kasi PATAY KANG MATANDA KA PAG NAGKATAON NA TOPAKIN KANG MAGPAKAMATAY!!! PWES!!! ITIGIL MO ANG KATARANTADUHANG YAN!!! Pagkatapos mong lunurin ang sarili mo sa ALAK… yan naman ngayon ang tinotoma mo!!?? Pinapa-shot ka ni KAMATAYAN tapos IINUMIN at TUTUNGGAIN mo naman?? Masaya ka!! TANDAAN MO KAPAG NAGPAKAMATAY KA, PAPATAYIN KITA!!! =p

Ang dami-daming tao na GUSTONG GUMALING DAHIL SA MGA SAKIT AT KARAMDAMAN NILA PERO SA KASAMAANG-PALAD AYUN… NAKARATAY PA DIN SILA SA OSPITAL AT NAGHIHINTAY NG MILAGRO, swerte pa nga pag nasa ospital, eh yung iba nasa bahay lang… at hinihintay na lang ang katapusan ng buhay nila, tapos ikaw, MALUSOG, KUMAKAIN NG TATLONG BESES SA ISANG ARAW, NAKAPAGTAPOS NG PAG-AARAL, MAY MAGANDANG TRABAHO, BUO ANG PAMILYA AT MADAMING MGA KAIBIGAN AT KAMAG-ANAK NA NAGMAMAHAL AT HANDANG DUMAMAY, MAY BAHAY NA MASISILUNGAN, PA-INTERNET-INTERNET PA (”,) *KASI SYEMPRE PAANO MO MABABASA ITONG SINUSULAT KO NGAYON DI’BA?? EH NASA INTERNET ‘TO!!! HAHA!! PILOSOPONG KANGKONG DIN AKO EH NOH??!* Tapos ikaw…!?!?! Nang dahil lang sa iniwan ka ng isang tao na hindi ka na naman kaya mahalin at ipaglaban eh KIKITILIN mo ang iyong buhay ng ganun2x na lang?? OH C’MON!!! DON’T GIVE ME THAT SH!T!!! Ang daming humihingi ng chance para mabuhay dito sa mundo tapos ikaw tapon ka lang ng tapon?! Suicide ka lang ng suicide?? Anong gusto mong patunayan dun sa NASA ITAAS?? TAO ka lang, at nilikha ka ng DIYOS, s’ya ang nagbigay ng buhay sa’yo kaya s’ya lang ang may karapatan na BAWIIN yan, tandaan mo… ang buhay ay isang malaking pagsubok..

BIGYAN MO NAMAN NG HALAGA ANG BUHAY NA IPINAGKALOOB SA’YO, UULITIN KO… alam mo bang maraming nangangailangan nyan… tapos ikaw tinatapon mo lang!!! TAPON KA LANG NG TAPON EH HINDI NAMAN BASURA YAN…. sa totoo lang mapalad ka pa nga eh, kasi ang pino-problema mo lang ay ang…. “PAGMAMAHAL MO SA TAONG HINDI KA NA NAMAN MAHAL”…. Tingnan mo yung mga bata at ibang mga tao na nasa lansangan, yung mga nagkakalkal ng BASURA sa PAYATAS o kahit saang lupalop pa, yung mga kumakain ng TIRA-TIRANG PAGKAIN NA KADALASAN AY NASA BASURAHAN PA AT PUNO NG MIKROBYO, yung mga taong grasa, yung mga taong walang masilungan at yung mga tao na PERYODIKO lang ang ginagawang KUMOT upang hindi maramdaman ang lamig sa magdamag, SA TINGIN MO MAIISIP PA NILANG PROBLEMAHIN YUNG MGA GANYANG DRAMA?? Ang buhay nila ay ISANG NAPAKALAKING DRAMA na at hindi na nila kailangang idagdag pa yan sa mga iniisip nila, hindi na nila iniintindi yang MGA GANYANG BAGAY TUNGKOL SA PAGMU-MOVE-ON MOVE-ON NA YAN, nagpapatawa ka ba?? BAKA MAMAYA PAG TINANONG MO YAN NG… “eks-kyus mi po, paano nga ba talaga mag move-on??” baka eto lang ang isagot sa’yo nun at mayare ka lang…

“ANONG MU-BON MU-BON PINAGSASABI MO DYAN?? HINDI PA’KO NANANANGHALIAN BAKA SIPAIN KITA DYAN, LUMAYAS KA NGA SA HARAP KO AT BAKA IKAW ANG KILUHIN KO DYAN!!!!”

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! TATLONG ORAS KITANG PAGTATAWANAN!!!

Baka ikaw pa ang gawing SUBSTITUTE sa bakal nyan na ipapakilo sa JUNK SHOP sa asar sa’yo!! (^_^)

Nakita mo, hindi na nila po-problemahin yung USAPANG PAG-IBIG PAG-IBIG na yan, ang PAG-IBIG para sa kanila eh yung mayroon silang pantawid gutom at masisilungan sa buong magdamag, pinoproblema nila kung saan sila makakahanap ng pagkain at kailangan nilang maka-survive sa isang buong maghapon na naman, at ang “BUKAS” na naghihintay para sa kanila ay isang matinding “ADVENTURE” na naman, di ka ba bumibilib?? At walang balak magpakamatay yang mga yan, lalaban at lalaban yan… BY HOOK OR BY CROOK!!! Yan yung mga tinatawag na MATITIBAY ANG LOOB, eh MATIBAY ka din naman eh!! MASYADO KA LANG NAAAWA SA SARILI MO!!! Sige nga kung ikaw ngayon ang malagay sa kalagayan nila na halos hindi mo na alam kung saan kukuha ng pagkain sa araw2x baka maghikahos ka, baka sumuko ka… baka isumpa mo ang FIRST 3 MINUTES NG PAGIGING HAMPAS-LUPA, pag andun ka na sa sitwasyon na yun TRUST ME… pinagdaanan ko na yan… hindi mo na maiisip ang mga “MUSHY” things na yan!!! hahaha!! Nung AKO ang nasa kalagayan na halos hindi ko na alam kung saan kami hahanap ng makakain naming magkakapatid hindi ko na muna inisip ang PROBLEMANG PAG-IBIG na yan, inisip ko na may MAS IMPORTANTENG BAGAY ako na kailangang intindihin bukod dun, at yun ay ang MABUHAY na hindi kumakalam ang sikmura, malayo sa sakit at kumpleto ang pamilya… “MABABANGONG BANGUNGOT”….. BONUS na lang yung mga susunod na biyaya, solb na’ko ng ganun nah mean?? Kaya wag mong sayangin ang buhay mo, magpapakamatay ka para lang makalimot?? “CONDOLENCE” na lang ha!!! Kasi “NAMATAYAN KA NG PAG-IBIG”, wag mong ILIBING ANG SARILI MO, ILIBING MO ANG MASASAMANG ALAALA NG KAHAPON NA MAGDUDULOT SA’YO NG KAPAHAMAKAN, wag mong dibdibin yan kapatid. Look, ALL I’M TRYING TO SAY IZ….. ANG DAMI-DAMING NAGPAPAKAHIRAP AT GUSTONG MABUHAY SA MUNDO TAPOS IKAW MAGPAPAKAMATAY LANG?? ANG DAMI-DAMING TAO ANG BUMIBILI PA NG MGA MAMAHALING GAMOT PARA LANG MADAGDAGAN AT HUMABA PA KAHIT KONTING-KONTI ANG BUHAY NILA, TAPOS IKAW ni Sakit sa Kuko wala kang nararamdaman at HEALTHING-HEALTHY KA PA TAPOS YUNG BUHAY MO PINAIIKLI MO LANG?? WTF??! THINK ABOUT IT….. kung tutuusin napaka-simple ng problema mo kumpara sa mga taong nabanggit ko… at mas marami pang ibang tao na mas malala pa ang problema kaysa sa’yo… pero hindi nila iniinda ang kanilang suliranin at ni hindi man lang nila naisip kitilin ang buhay nila, tapos ikaw??! Nang dahil lang dyan sa NAUDLOT na “TOTAL KILIGNESS LOVE STORY” nyo eh susuko ka na agad? HINDI PAGPAPAKAMATAY ANG SAGOT SA PROBLEMA MO!!! Sige ka, sa tingin ko pag nagpakamatay ka mas malungkot… ligaw na kaluluwa ka na lang, wala kang makakausap, di ka na makakagimik (AMBABAW NG DAHILAN AMPOTAH!!), habang panahon ka ng malungkot at nagsisisi na sana hindi ka na lang nagpakamatay, saka mo na lang mari-realize at iwi-wish mo na siguro na kahit ISANG MILYONG HEARTBREAKS pa tatanggapin mo, wag ka lang MAI-STUCK sa lugar na yan ng KAWALAN…. Ngayon ay nababalot ka ng pagsisisi, NAKAKABINGI ANG KATAHIMIKAN, MADILIM, MALABO, MALUNGKOT, WALANG PATUTUNGUHAN, WALA NG MAKIKINIG NA KAIBIGAN SA PAULIT-ULIT MONG HINANAKIT SA MINAMAHAL MO NA ANG TANGING GINAWA AY ANG SAKTAN ANG DAMDAMIN MO, AS IN ZERO…… Infinite Sadness!!! Yikes!! BINIGYAN KA NG BUHAY….. PANGALAGAAN MONG MABUTI, USE IT WISELY….. Hindi yung… MAKIPAG-BREAK lang at IWAN ka ng KASINTAHAN o ASAWA mo eh…

- MAGBIBIGTI KA NA

- MAGPAPASAGASA KA SA TREN O SA BUS

- TATALON SA TULAY

- MAGPAPAKAGAT SA ASONG MAY RABIES

- MAGPAPATUKLAW SA COBRA

- O IPAPATUKLAW MO ANG IYONG COBRA SA BAKLANG MAY HIV/AIDS POSITIVE at FOOT & MOUTH DISEASE

- MAGBABARIL SA ULO, SA BUNGANGA, SA LALAMUNAN etc. ( deep throat style. )

- IPAPAKAIN ANG SARILI SA MGA LEON

- IPAPAKAIN ANG SARILI SA MGA TIYANAK ( Oh my God ang anak ni JANICE!! )

- IPAPAKAIN ANG SARILI SA MGA CANNIBALS NA GUMAGAMIT NG KUTSARA AT TINIDOR

- MAGPAPAKALUNOD sa DAGAT, sa ILOG, sa SWIMMING POOL, sa DRAM, sa BATHTUB, sa KIDDIE POOL, sa TASA!!!

- SUSUNUGIN ANG SARILE SA LOOB NG OCEAN PARK

- PASASABUGIN ANG SARILE SA PAMAMAGITAN NG MAGIC BOMB

- TATALON SA PAGKATAAS-TAAS NA GUSALI (PAG BUMUKAS ANG PARACHUTE TAKE 2 TAYO!!!)

- IPAPAHILA ANG KATAWAN SA RUMARAGASANG SASAKYAN NA PARANG SA PELIKULA LANG NI LITO LAPID

- GAWA NA’NG BALA NA PAPATAY SA’YO

- IPUTOK MO, DADAPA AKO

- IYO ANG TONDO, SA AKIN ANG CAVITE (clear copy)

- DITO SA PITONG GATANG (pirated)

- PAPATAYIN ANG SARILI SA KILITI =)

- KILITI ( triple xxx tagalog movie )

- AT BAGO KO MAKALIMUTAN ANG MGA IBA’T IBANG KLASENG LIKIDO NA INIINOM PARA
MAGPAKAMATAY KATULAD NGA NG MGA SINABI KO KANINA SA TAAS: KLOROX, SHAMPOO, GAAS, DIESEL, UNLEADED, PREMIUM. Sosyal ka ang mahal mahal ng gasolina iinumin mo lang LECHE KA!!!!

Kaya nananawagan ako sa mga gumagawa ng mga produktong ito… sa susunod naman ho eh baka pwedeng may FLAVORS na yung mga binebenta nyong MURIATIC ACID, THINNER, LIQUID SOSA AT ALCOHOL, wag nyo na isali yung KLOROX kasi may SAMPAGUITA FLAVOR NA YUN at saka SUNSHINE FRESH at take note MAY KALAMANSI FLAVOR pa!! ZOZYAL!!!! Sana sa susunod may HOT & SPICY flavor na rin, haha!! Also Available In Different Flavors: Strawberry, Orange, Menthol, Dalandan, Honey Lemon, Durian, Melon, Aratiles, Kalabasa, Afritada, Narra & Pandan. For Orders Pls. Call 843-82-31. All Rights Reserved. See Posters And Print Ads For Details.

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS:
- DRA. VIVIAN SARABIA *dahil “SA TINGIN” ko’y kakailanganin ko na ang tulong ng mga salamin nya sa mata dahil lumalabo na ang “PANINGIN” ko kaka-kompyuter!!!*

- BISUTO PRAWN CRACKERS (pinapasingit lang ni Kuya Germs)

- LAHAT NG GIMIKAN NA INI-EMCEEHAN KO, KAYO ANG LAKAS KO!!! (The Ka Limot Power!!!) hango sa palabas ni bossing VIC SOTTO, AIZA SUEGERRA at PANCHITO na TWINS: Ako si Ikaw, Ikaw si Ako-The Underground Partyman.

- DRA. VICKI BELO of BELO MEDICAL GROUP *dahil “MUKHANG” kakailanganin na ng “MUKHA” ko magpa-derma dahil sa mga sumusulpot na pimples kakapuyat ko sa pagsusulat ng mga blogs na i-re.*

- MY WORDPLAY it keeps better N’ better baby!!!

- SA MGA BABAENG “MALALABO ANG MATA” NA NAGBIBIGAY SA’KIN NG…. BUFFET OF FLOWERS este BOUQUET OF FLOWERS PALA, LALO NA PAG AKO AY NASA DJ’s BOOTH… HAHAHAHAHA!!!! PARANG BALIKTAD YATA, HINTAYIN NYONG AKO ANG MAGBIGAY NG CHICHARONG BULAKLAK SA INYO MGA BINIBINI.. (Choosy Ka Pa HUh!?!!?) DON’T WORRY HINDI NAMAN LUMALAKI ANG ULO KO EH… MAY KASABIHAN NGA SI M.C. DUANE NA “Di bale nang LUMAKI ang ULO sa BABA…… WAG lang ang ULO sa TAAS!!!!!” hahahahahahaha!!!!

- SA MGA NAGPAPA-PRINT NG MGA BLOGS KO DAHIL MAS MASARAP DAW BASAHIN SA PAPEL KASI NAKAKALABO daw NG MATA ang mga “UV Rays” na dulot ng MONITOR ng PC (kaya parang pocketbooks ang blogs ko na tigsasampung piso ang renta sa komiks stand.) IM-PER-NESS nakaka-flattered!

- AT SA MGA WALANG SAWANG NAGBABASA NG MGA KATARANTADUHAN KO ( Hikbi ). Kahit magang-maga na ang mga mata nyo kakabasa ng BLOG-GAGS KO ( BLAGAG!!! ) eh nandyan pa rin kayo, at nandito naman ako… AYLABYU OL!!! O di pa tayo tapos ha….. nag-commercial lang tayo! Oo mahaba talaga ‘tong BLOG ko!! Simple lang naman ang solusyon dyan kung magrereklamo ka, eh di wag mong basahin di’ba? Kaso sa mga oras na ito habang binabasa mo ngayon itong sinusulat ko eh halos patapos na din 2 eh kaya tapusin mo na din, haha! Nag-warning naman ako sa simula pa lang di’ba??

- And last but not the least, kay lambing dahil kundi dahil sa kanya hindi mabubuo ang mga pinagtagpi-tagping mga salita sa blog na ito at lalong lalo na sa nanghack nang lahat ng friendster accounts ko (sarcastic ako) ikaw ang nag-suggest na gawin ko ito, pinagkatiwalaan kita, akala ko pa ikaw si lambing yun pala ikaw ay praning wala na tuloy ang friendster page ko na nagni-ningning.

Maraming Salamat po sa inyong pagtitiwala!!!

(NOW BACKKK TO YOUUUUU, MELLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!-mike enriquez.)

NOW BACK TO REALITY:
(Just like Eminem’s verse on 8 mile’s soundtrack: Loose Yo’self)

Ngayon siguraduhin mo na sana na wag nang maapektuhan sa mga bagay na nangyayari sa iyo.. sa pag ibig na hinawakan mo nang mahigpit.. ayaw mong magpatalo sa emosyon mo eh.. kaya sumusuko ka na.. pero hindi ibig sabihin na duwag ka.. ibig sabihin nito ay natututo ka nang tumanggap ng pagkatalo.. ibig sabihin na yang dumating sa buhay mo ay isang PAGSUBOK.. CHALLENGE sa buhay na kahit apak na apak na ang pagkatao mo.. natuto ka pa din ngumiti, lumaban.. maging matatag.. at.. maalala ang NASA ITAAS.. napakasarap ng pakiramdam yung walang-wala ka nang lakas .. mananalangin ka sa kanya.. walang kasing sarap nang pakiramdam. Hindi habang panahon eh magdadalamhati ka TANGEK.. oo magdalamhati ka mga ilang araw.. pero kelangan mong bumangon sa pagkakadapa ( O DBA? ayan na naman ang walang kamatayang kasabihan na yan?! IT NEVER GETS OLD Man, IT NEVER GETS OLD!!! ) at iyon ang gagawin mo ngayon.. babangon ka.. at magpapakatatag pa!!

ANO BA YAN? PURO PAGPAPAKATATAG?! at PURO SUMBUNGAN NA LANG!?! PAULET-ULET!!!
( hahaha syempre! kelangan ko kase ITATAK sa KUKOTE mo yan! )

*Hmmm teka, shucks!!! bakit ko kinakausap ang sarili ko?! syettt!! malala na’to!!!*

ENIWEIZ,

May bukas pang naghihintay sa’yo kapatid..

Lemme tell you sumpin… I think that the only reason people hold onto memories so tight is because memories are the only things that dont change; when everybody else does.

I’ve learned that things change, people change, N’ it doesn’t mean you forget the past or try to cover it up. It simply means that you move on N’ treasure the memories. Letting go doesn’t mean giving up… it means accepting that some things weren’t meant to be. SEE WHAT I’M SAYIN??

Kaya mo yan! I’m sure pag inabot mo ang chapter ng binabasa mo ngayon na’to eh magang-maga na ang mga mata mo…. at halos may idea ka na kahit konti kung paano gagawin yung mga INSTRUCTIONS sa pagmo move-on, kaya WINNER ka!!!

ENIWEIZ, Basta I can say na you’ve finally moved on pag wala ka ng bitterness towards that person…

Time heals…basta just have faith in God.. He will help you ease the pain and eventually, you’ll be able to face the world again with a SMILE… =D

Masarap din kase sa pakiramdam na kapag naka get over ka na, you’ll finally be able to wish that person well, kahit ba nasaktan ka nya…

after all, you are who you are right now because of your past… so if you feel that you’re a stronger, better person now, it’s because of the pain he/she caused you…

Just always look at the brighter side of things and you’ll be fine… believe me… nuff said.

ya wanna know the reason why I write blogs like this?



‘coz sumtymz… G’s need love too (^^,)
we hella tired of gangbangin’ N’ shyt… see what i’m sayin??



Respectfully Yours,

M.C. DUANE ( The Heartbreak Kid. )

**********************************************

hahaha! :)

last day of my 2009

i cooked loads this morning. i woke up early and grilled ribs, cooked meaty carbonara and a mugna-mugna pasta recipe of tuna and red sauce. my mom fried chicken and prepared green salad..

twelve months ago, i would not have thought that i would take interest in cooking...

and my classmate had lunch with us.. the last lunch for 2009 and he was with my family.. and we were kidding around and laughing. he gave me comments regarding my cooking. he said my carbonara and ribs were good.

it was 11 months ago, conflicts 2009, that we became friends... more like drinking buddies... he was my summer, my birthday, my classmate, my sembreak, my heartbreak... and now, he is just a good friend.

as he was leaving, i called out: "hi mo ako sa chix mo ha?!" and he laughed saying "buang jud..."

a few months ago, i was telling myself that to be friends, (in the truest/common sense or definition of the word) was impossible because i felt too much for him. a few weeks ago, i was missing him so much. a few days ago, i was learning to get mad at him and see the how jerky he could be at times. a few hours ago, i was worried if i would survive being with him for lunch... but i did! with flying colors. :)

i think i'm okay now. and i am just trully glad we are friends.
chix come and go but true friends never leave you. and to be a friend to a person as good/nice/kind as him is fine by me.

its funny how i am back to calling him "dude" this time because that's what i called him before we blurred the lines of friendship... :)

i was worried about 2010.. i was scared of what it might bring. but now that i think about all the things that happened to me, my family, my friends, and the rest of the world this year and surviving all the challenges of 2009 with flying colors, i no longer fear what is to come. i now look forward to what 2010 has to offer.

happy new year!
god bless!
ciao!
xo
************************************

its the day before christmas!!

and i feel so blah... haha! :)

1. i feel bummed coz i missed the last day of misa de gallo. i got 7 out of 9... i know, i already missed one so it is rather pointless to beat myself up over missing another one.. but i was looking forward to the last one!!! grr.

2. i hoe i get my christmas wish. i think this is the only year when i know for sure that i do not want any material thing.. nor cash. and i know this will sound incredibly cheesy and needless to say that i have poke fun at this cliche a million times.. but all i want for christmas is PEACE. *wonk. wonk. wooonk.* but i do!! i want peace of mind and i want peace for my poor little achy breaky heart. *haha* i want peace between me and my alter ego coz im soo tired of being in constant battle with myself. and i want peace (as in real peace, not the placebo/pacifier/kunware peace) between us. i want peace between my titos and titas, for my cousin and her lola & gay uncle, for konger and her 2 friends, for brian and his cousin. i want peace for the hearts of john, nikki, mam claire, and all the other people who are missing the home and everything that they were used to. i want all types of peace for all of the people around me. i just want peace and love everywhere everyday. that is my christmas wish. too bad that does not fit in socks.. not even in santa's magical red bag of gifts..

3. the guy-who-broke-my-heart-in-09 (haha! i just came up with that. i like the sound of that.) suddenly said he would come over on christmas day or the 26th or the 27th.. magtx daw siya when but he will come over. weird noh??? hahaha! :)ge lang, nadwat na nako ni nga part ug naanad na ko ani so di na nako ni i-overthink... bdw, weird lang pud kay he said he missed me with a highfive/pound-it gesture.. hahaha! like, awkward much??? haha!! whatever.

love and peace!!!
god bless u and ur family!!!

*****************************************
ps. i'll try to be really nice this chrismas.. :)
i want my wish! :) *fingers crossed*

10 days more!!! :)

the last 10 days for the end of year '09.
5 days to go for christmas day.
1 more tulog for my kuya's arrival.

wee! :) i was super happy in manila -shopping, friends, separation from davao's crap... and i just like that city so much. everytime i walk around makati, it feels like i am home or like i am in my element... i hope to go back and stay there for some time... soon! :) humanda! haha!

the year is about to end and i realized that i have so much to be thankful for...
SUCH AS:
1. i opened myself up to someone. i got my heart broken. learned my lessons and now im bouncing back. :)
2. i am more certain that law (school) is something i really want... i want it so much that it kinda scares me... so pagbalik ko sa school, humanda!!! haha!
3. i find myself closer to my God this time and the possibilities seem endless... even quitting vices seem easy! :)
4. i also found a deeper appreciation for life and everything it is about. i feel blessed and deeply grateful for the people around me, for all the things that fate has for me- all the people i met this year, all the things i discovered and all the things i did this year...
MADAMI... but im tired and sleepy na because i came from misa de gallo kanina...

ciao!

***************************************
PS. god bless you! spread the love.
hapi pasko! hapi nuyir! :)

bad feeling not to be forgotten

last sunday he tells me he missed me. last night, i saw him holding hands with a girl. perfect noh? nangurog ko. namugnaw. hyperventilate. then di makahinga. tightening sa chest. mind was wiped out. whew. that was hours ago but the feeling has not left me... the emotional aspect, the physical manifestation, and the mental blankness/anguish are still there. and i'm leaving for manila tomorrow and i'm not ready.

last night (in detail)--
i was at a watering hole in the city with an old guy friend.. when i got off the cab, i prayed na sana magkita kami. after taking a few steps, i turned and saw his vehicle heading for the parking lot... nasurprise ko! :) then i looked around pero sasakyan nya lang so i thought maybe may kasama siya sa car. but i saw no shadows thru the tint, so when it stopped, i opened the door and saw him with her on the passenger seat (where i used to sit). so with a smile on my face i asked "san ka?" without looking at her directly but seeing her shocked facial expression. hehe:) ka-awkward noh? he answered na dun sila papunta sa place where me n my frnd were supposed to go. so i closed the door again. matagal sila bumaba. n when they finally did, thru the corner of my eye i could see that he was walking a couple of steps ahead of her. when i looked up, i saw them looking at me and the girl grabbed his elbow. and then they held hands. then i just smiled and grabbed the bottle of vodka.. then he said some lame joke about "the bar" pero wa na ko kabantay kay at this point mura na kog gidauban!!! nangurog ko. namugnaw. hyperventilate. then di makahinga. tightening sa chest. mind was wiped out. he sat next to her and had his arm around her. she was malambing to him. (again, i saw this thru the corner of my eye. pasimple bah!:) clock ticked... he went out for a smoke. smiled at me and he looked at my friend. yung tipong nakaw na tingin. sipatan bah? i remember he did it a couple of times. then time kept moving.. then he went out for a smoke again and this time i asked him when niya kunin yung pasalubong ko for him.. he paused, smiled and said pwede next time na? i did not answer immediately, but i just looked at him. and told him il be in mla next week. he said "char mag-unsa ka didto?" "sikreto." then he said "dala mo ngayon?" and i tossed it to him. "ano toh?" no answer but i made a face as if to say wala lang so-so. then he said thanks. then it was awkward kay we had nothing to talk about so he turned towards the door. as he did so, he said "ikumusta mo pala ako kina tita tsaka tito.." then i said "asar! kaclose nyo!" then he replied/joked "syempre!" or something like that... nawala napud ko sa passing so i dont really remember anymore. hehe:) time passed again... and uwi na sila. when i got back from the restroom, i saw nasa parking lot na sila.. dumaan yung sasakyan niya sa tabi ko when they left.. then he said some stuff but all i could hear/remember was "thanks tans." or sumthing like that. i just looked at him for a sec and showed him my palm. then he drove off..

comment ng friends--
sabi ng friend ko evil siya. aksi nagsabi pa siya ng "mis u" last week...
and my freidn saidd, pwera love, ang chix daw kay mrag gikambras sa demonyo 6 times... hahaha! tapos ako kay 3 times lang daw... so panalo ako! haha! *labyoobai!*
pati sa lawas daug daw ghapon ko kay nataguan ra daw sa purple dress ang kamaot sa lawas ato... pero bitaw, tabaon bitaw akong tanaw ato niya.. and di kaayo nako feel iyang beauty.. or biased lang ko! hahaha!

sabi ng friends niya "nagselos ka noh?!" and they were laughing... nagulat ako kasi that was the last thing on my mind. wala ko nagselos.. weird. so i said "selos? wala. pero lain na makita nimo diba? pero ok lang. patas lang. all is fair in love and war. diba? murag ikaw gud! hehe"

comment ko---
when bad people do bad things, its nothing. when good people do bad things its something. so if u know ur bad, dont try to come off as a good person. it hurts more. again, i feel like i am losing faith in "the good" but im not wired that way. i will always believe in the goodness of people. it may seem naive and i may be gullible, but is it so wrong to have faith???

naapreciate nako akong ex kay bad siya and ang motto niya would be sumthing like "bad ko, labo na mausab. dili ko muingon na dili ko maghimo ug daotan. pero kung kaya nimo dawaton ko, maayo."

nalain ko. nalain jud ko.

i still cant figure out why i did not feel any pang of jealousy... maybe because at that very moment everything i beleived in; everything about u, all that we built; the meaning and the value you have in my life, just came crashing down.

"to die by your side is such a heavenly way to die"

konger told me to see this. i anticipated the love stuff and the artsy fartsy appeal of the movie, so i watched it with martino, not really knowing that it was not a love story but a story of boy meets girl...

and i liked it... and no, not because the story sums up (with incredible precision) what happened between me and "my summer." although that personal experience contributed a lot with regard to my understanding or absorption of the story and what it was trying to say.

anyway, these are the reasons why i like it:

1. the shots were mostly close-up or zoomed in to something or someone. these shots are often used to draw attention to or emphasize someone or something. in the movie, it was used to give the audience a feel of what it is like to be in love.. u know? to pay attention to all the beautiful details, to just focus on that one person or event or thing and to not see the bigger picture. the close up shots got a bit annoying coz i could not see the scenery, but i appreciated the fact that it reminded us of how people in love see the world.

2. the story was not narrated chronologically. it went back and forth, relived some days and ignored some. i like that because that is how the mind works. the mind is not exactly always coherent, especially when it is rationalizing and trying to figure out a lot of things at the same time. instead, it pulls random memories and thoughts and it goes back and forth, while trying to make sense of things. it was rather helpful in conveying the characters pain and frame of mind.

3. i liked how love or experiences or a chapter in life was compared to buildings in architecture. it was said that in order to appreciate a building, you need to visualize or see it along with the other buildings around it.. in the same manner that an experience in life should not be taken as one unit or thing. it should be seen as a part of the grand plan or of life in its entirety.

4. i liked the black and white movie they saw! :) every scene had meaning or relation to what was happening with the characters tom and summer.. (actually, every scene in the movie 500dof had significance.. meaning, not much of the viewer's time was wasted.)

here are a few lines or parts that i liked:

*sadness is underrated.

*Summer: “One day I woke up and I just knew.”
Tom: “Knew what?”
Summer: What I was never sure of when I was with you XXX I knew I could promise him I’d feel the same way every morning. In a way that I.. I never could with you…
I knew I could promise him I’d feel the same way every morning. In a way that I.. I never could with you… ---ouch!

*and the part when they were at the door and Tom said that he did not care about the labels. he just wanted consistency; to wake up everyday blah-blah... the summer said "i cant give you that. no one can." like! hehe:)

there are a lot of things i forgot to mention in this post.. but these are probably the ones that i wanted to point out.

and i cant quite figure out why summer always had something blue on her... be it a blue ribbon, blue hair clip or her dress was blue or had blue prints... i did not get that... maybe it was a warning sign?? i dunno. i have theories, but none of it i can explain well.. any ideas?

ciao! :)

ps.
"If Tom had learned anything… It’s that you can’t ascribe great cosmic significance to a simple earthly event. Coincidence. That’s all anything ever is. Nothing more than coincidence.
It took a long time, but Tom had finally learned. There are no miracles. There is no such thing as fate. Nothing is meant to be. He knew. He was pretty sure."

cebooo!

i had fun in cebu. it was my first time to set foot on the queen city of the south. i went there with my bestpal since high school. i booked the tickets weeks ago. i was determined to have fun and give myself a break from all the negativity i had going on here... and i got what i wanted in cebu. :)

me @ the basilica minore del santo nino

i found out that--
--there are a loot of good looking and hot guys in cebu. the girls are pretty pero kasagaran sapyot. haha!
--the price range for food and drinks? well, it ranges from dvo price to mla price. it depends on what you want to experience; kung high end, meron and kung cheap-ass back packer lang, meron din.
--the streets are narrow and the sidewalks are narrow. and the streets are so inter-laced that it feels like there is no such thing as a long street that goes straight. streets are basically cramped and crooked.
--and dont be surprised if the prettiest faces have the most bisaya tongues... as in bottle = "batol", sparkle = "sparkol"
--the party does not die in cebu.. not even on sundays. but be careful of prostitutes and the like.. there are a lot of them.
--there is a pretty good balance between what is old and historical, and what is new, modern and industrial.

cebu is good for short breaks or cheap but crazy get-aways.. but i think i'll find it hard to live there coz i see myself getting bored or running out of things to do. i mean, the city will lose its luster once i master the streets so it will seem a lot less exciting after living there for a month or so. i'll probably have a routine by then, and i probably tried everything the place has to offer by then... so, manila still has it, for me.

xoxo

************************
bdw, thanks to the people who made this trip sooooper fun!

perr, oskie n mumuy @ penthouse

just a thought..

i just thought that maybe loving is not for me. people move from one person to the next ant they are perfectly fine. the one time i decide to let my guard down, and i end up a wreck.

its really not for me. i like it, but its like a drug for me. i just realized that i'm the giver in a relationship and i can hardly stand knowing that a person is mad at me. those traits put together result in a martyr.. u know the kind that cant stop hitting her head with a hammer? :)

and i really dont know how to stop.. i think and rethink, analyze, rationalize and over-think! its exhausting. its too much but i cant stop. i wallow in feeling because i think that's what living is all about. you know?

its when you feel something, anything, that you feel alive. weird huh?? i dunno. maybe i gotta think about this some more..

oh well..

God bless!
Ciao!

ps. i really dont want to crash and burn again. i just like the tingling and the floating feeling when u love someone. :)

b!tch brushed-off

i never thought i could be so wrong about someone.. but then again, hormones make u see things thru rose tinted glasses... so we are all susceptible to being unreliable about people from time to time.. pero geez! please lang, spare me.. u have either reduced me to something so much less than a decent human being or u hate me so much that ur not taking my calls??

no, dear reader, i did not call the guy 58million times. and i have a clear purpose for doing so. its like this:

monday: i got back from cebu n i told him (thru tx) that i got him something that does not have a very long shelf life and that it would expire soon. he said he'll text me kinabukasan.
tuesday: nothing.
wednesday: nagtx siya asking if nagexpire na yung thing. i said ndi pa. he asked me naunsa ko, n i told him i was sick. blah-blah n then i told him id tell him if i felt better i could leave the house na and maybe meet him to hand him the thing.
thursday: i called him, he picked up. he could not get it coz he was in a land far far away. (on this day also, my mom tells me to invite him to a family thng on sunday. kaperfect noh?)
friday: i was better so i ran a few errands and i called him but no answer. and i did not get a follow up txt from him.
saturday: the phone was ringin, then suddenly call failed. wtf?

i dont get it. y does he not take my call? or tx bak? i thought we were "friends" (even if its in the most awkward sense)??? does he think that getting him pasalubong is part of my grand plan to get him back??? geez. *eyes rolling* if that's the case, he needs to get over himself. like, ASAP. puhleeze! (yeah, for a second there, i wanted him back, but now i feel like the rose-tinted glasses dont fit me; my lifestyle, my choices, my personality and the way i'm wired. so now, its ciao foolish boy! if there is one lesson i should learn its that the lovey-dovey-puppy thang isnt for me. naka-move-on na ko, so should u!)

this behavior is seriously disappointing.. like, MAJOR disappointment! i thought he was one of those people who could be mature about the whole thing and transcend, u know?? well, apparently not. n this behavior cannot be rooted on bitter feelings because i dont think he really cared about me that mucho. so i'm just going to take this as a pure and simple brush off. very bad...

well, if that's how he wants to play it, then m thru playing nice.

xoxo

thinking positive :)

DEFYING GRAVITY

Something has changed within me
Something is not the same
I'm through with playing by
The rules of someone else's game
Too late for second guessing
Too late to go back to sleep
It's time to trust my instincts
Close my eyes and leap

It's time to try defying gravity
Kiss me goodbye, I'm defying gravity
And you can't bring me down
Mmm-mmm

I'm through accepting limits
Cos someone says they're so
Some things I cannot change
But til I try I'll never know
Too long I've been afraid of
Losing love I guess I've lost
Well if that's love it comes at
Much too high a cost

I'd sooner buy defying gravity
I'm way up high, I'm defying gravity
Kiss me goodbye, I'm defying gravity
And you won't bring me down

Unlimited
My future is unlimited
And I just had a vision
Almost like a prophecy
I know
It sounds truly crazy
And, true, the vision's hazy
But I can see it
I can feel it
I swear I'll be so high
yeah yeah

So if you care to find me
Look to the western sky
As someone told me lately
Everyone deserves a chance to fly
And if I'm flying solo
At least I'm flying free
To those who ground me
Take a message back from me
ah yeah

It's time to try defying gravity
I'm way up high, I'm defying gravity
Kiss me goodbye, I'm defying gravity
And you won't bring me
You won't bring me down
aaah
ah-ah-ah-ahhh

**i like the lyrics of this song! :) i heard it from glee, discovered that its from the musical "wicked," found the clip on youtube (but thought it was scary/funny!), and so i am putting the links of glee and orig... FOCUS ON THE LYRICS. :)

awa ang clip sa wicked:


the GLEE version is much better!

me + catalyst = change

last night, i talked to the classmate. we drove around and hung out kahit super ulan.. i told him much of what i wanted to say. it felt good. :) he told me i made him happy. he told me i matured and that he saw me change. i asked him if he could point out areas which need improvement but he said that there was no more because he can see that i am actually doing good. i told him that he had such a positive effect on me. i am really happy that i can tell him these things and that he can take it. i am glad we are friends (and by friends, i mean it the conventional understanding of the word).

i like what i have become. i will not be the same person after this. i would like to think that i have matured. i feel ready to make positive changes in my life... or life-changing decisions that will, hopefully, make me better. i hope i can sustain this feeling. hehe:)

when i woke up this morning i told my HSBFF that "maybe the quick fix iv been searching for in bars and crazy night outs was not to be found there. u know? The epiphany that i needed and wanted to get? maybe i got it through someone over a long period of time.. and now that i recognize what is in front of me and what i need to do, am SKERD!"

love and peace!
god bless you!

foodtrip: ola espana

eating always feels good... but only if its good food. pero kung di masarap yung food, nkakasira ng mood. :)

last monday, fugloid and i went to ola espana at damosa... this month they are serving food buffet style. i think its 350 inclusive of bottomless iced tea and we both thought that the price more than worth it for the food, ambiance and service.

they had only a few viands... i can remember the salad bar, paella, lengua, and the lechon! haha! (imagine, may lechon sa buffet! haha! happiness...) everything that they served was good. its the kind of taste ur mom cant make with her "lutong-bahay".. (no offense..) but that is not to say na lasang foodcourt siya. i was not so fond of the soup that night. i think it was crab or shrimp based... and it was thick. and it left a not so pleasant aftertaste.. but the dessert was good.


as for the ambiance, whether u stayed inside or outside, it was really nice and cozy and clean. may wine cellar sila. the comfort rooms are nice and wont make you too shy to go peepee. :)

as for service, the people are nice and attentive. :)

we give ola espana four thumbs up.

wee! cheers dears!

and again... this is about "the classmate" haha! he was just nice last night.. no, more like back to his old self. he evn asked me what time ako uuwi when he arrived home.. weird huh?

i wanna talk to him. i told him that there's something i wanna talk to him about and his eyes widened. haha! ulol! maybe that's why he made an effort last night.. but whatever. i wont over-analyze nor over-react to this because i have been getting over the whole thing... plus my tarot card reading today says:

"Be the calming force in chaos. Possible to overcome addiction to substance, people or relationships. Obsession passing. Order being restored. Bring calm to mind and behavior patterns. A time of peace is beginning."
and
"Take a step back before plowing ahead as someone is not seeing things the way you do. A possible block on the horizon to your plans. A warning sign. Someone is stifling you."

and the three of swords has always been there to always remind me of the presence of support from family and friends... :)

the sem is over and i am ecstatic! :)

adding insult to injury

wee! i just got home from another nice dinner with mike... we had milkshakes too! :) yumm! :) i have not studied for an exam on wednesday, but i dont really care about that right now..

you see, i admit to being something just a bit less than a stalker... and everyday, being the stalker that i am, i check this persin's facebook page.. today, i look at persin's page and see that someone posted a usual "kantsaw" (of me&him) on his page... and all he had to say regarding the issue is "halucination... hahaha" kaperfect noh? on top of that, i can sense that he is avoiding me. he would only text me if he needs to ask me something and that already comes with a "tnx" -suggesting that if i gave him an answer, i should not expect him to answer back. he does not look at me anymore too! it is as if i was not there. and if he needed to talk to my mom or dad, he would ask them directly this time.. unlike before that he would ask me about it first..

yes, it sucks that he is now avoiding me like a disease.. but that's already pushing it. he does not need to add insult to injury. he was the one who thought that i/it was "unhealthy" and he was the one who had problems, not me. i was the one who was dumped, not him. he does not get to be mad. baga siya ug nawong! why is he like this? WTF is wrong with him???

i have not been antagonistic towards him. i have not been trying to pursue him. he does not really need to add insult to injury.

14 days to go...

...and its the end of sem! i wont have to see my dearest classmate for the longest time. :) im looking forward to just focusing on myself and my family, business, travel... i am just eager to get rid of this unhealthy set-up. im soo sick of it.

i proud me coz i have not smoked in 3 weeks! :) yeah... and i have not had coke in such a long time, i lost count. :) im on a path to get rid of those that are unhealthy... (except maybe alcohol... :) i also proud me for no longer getting jealous. haha! but still, im looking forward to taking some time off from the major stressors i have right now, like study, him, etc...

as much as i hate having to take a break from school, i feel like i need this break for myself. i just feel so tired and burned out. i have a lot of issues that i need to work out. i need time to take a break and recuperate.. to fix myself. i cant wait to go back to my old self.. (naremember nako among pagkakiat atong time na this pic was taken hehe:)

so to schooling: you can bet that if i come back, i will be better.
and to my classmate: if you want me back, you know what to do and where to find me. if u dont, please dont worry about me, im fine. :) haha! :)

adios amigos! :)
god bless you!
*mwah*

wats wrong talong?

kanina, ok kami. :) then nagkantsawan yung classmates ko and they wanted a picture of us.. I did not want it. First, i was supposd 2 b moving on, diba? Second, i really did not know if he was fine with it.. He could be making faces for ol i know. Third, i dunno kung ok sa kanya o napilitan lang din sya. Diba? Mas werD.. :) i let dem take a photo of us. I cooperated a bit.. Then, on d third pic, i got up. Di ko napansin na nagpose pala siya.. It bothers me coz i dont want to come off as rude or that i hate him... Haay.

and yeah, nanluod kay wa nako gireplyan atong sunday! Haha! May ihatid daw sana siya sa bahay.. :P

i cant help but think dat i hav a serious problem.. Kasi parang ok na naman siya.. Parang tuloy ako pa yung hassle or pahalata or di maka.move on.. Pero yeah, ndi naman talaga ako ok. So bahala na.. :P hehe

this is what i need from u, right now.

please remind me and/or tell me again that this is what is best for you. tell me that this is what you want. that this is what you need... so at least i know that all this crap, this exhaustion, and this misery is not for nothing.

please show me improvements in terms of health or grades. show me that by cutting me off, you were actually catapulted to your goals. show me that ur a lot less stressed. show me that ur happier or more successful without me... so i'll feel dumb for holding on to certain feelings and for being miserable and selfish... at lest i can tell myself that i did not stand in the way... i'd be happy to see u happy.

whew! kelan ko kaya ito pwede hingiin? hehe:)
ako ay maduduwag na naman, i think.
absent na nga ako ng absent kasi pagod na akong makita ka.
hehe:) lame ko noh? duwag ang gaga! :)

last na ka ha? ayp...

1. shux, kahirap pala. who was i kidding?! i cannot be your friend yet. you cannot be my friend yet. no. its too hard. its unhealthy. its inevitable for either of us to put meaning in what the other does. i'm soooo soooo tired na... of seeing you all the time and feeling things, and going thru the same cycle everyday.. KAPOY to be in constant battle with yourself. enough na. if being with me was unhealthy for you, then being your friend is unhealthy for me. if you didnt wanna lose me, too bad. sorry, you shouldnt have acted like a dumb dog.

2. so im gonna eggzert extra effort to cut you off. hard as that may be, but that is what is good for you and for me. dont hate me for it... after all, u decided to cut me out of ur life first. i did not even have a say in it and you told me soooo late. so there!

3. as much as i want you back, i gotta let me go. i still have momentary lapses, and get drowned in emo crap, but i'll manage.. il try. if i dont, please help me out and tell me that this is what you need; that this is what you want and this is whats best for you. (too bad, being away from you completely, and not being your friend, seems to be the best for me at the moment.)

4. i feel like my old self again. the bitch is back for the nth time. kaya ko na mangaway ng tao ulit! :) kaso kahapon, in the midst of my galit/gigil mode, naisip ko na if you knew about the fight i was picking, youd make me see how petty it was and how foolish it was of me.. naalala ko tuloy na isa yan sa effects mo saken.. oops, going emo again. sorry... just another lapse... point is, im hating again! :) i can, once again, hate people for being stupid bitches. the bitch is back. **switch to maldita mode** so to the people i already hate, i say : watch your back bitches!!!

lover gets what lover wants. xoxo

we had dinner last night..

it was one of the hardest to swallow... literally nd figuratively!! ibang level!

it was nice, i guess.
it was not dramatic or anything like that.
masakit konti. hehe:)

but i'm "happier" now, so that should mean something...
siguro madami pa akong gusto sabihin, pero pwede nang di niya malaman..

i just hope he does not think i gave up on him.. because by letting him go and releasing him from all that is "unhealthy" for him, i am fighting for him. i dont want him to go away. i want him to be my friend, (if he cant be *ahem*...) i cant force him to be with me, if he does not want to, diba? this is best for him. so, lover gets what lover wants. friends mi!

at least i got a hug at the end of the night.

peace and love to all!
ciao!
god bless!

in re: letting go

okay, so as of now, i am bent on letting you go without need of explanation or goodbyes. parang i dont feel the need to tell you goodbye. i dont feel the need to tell you how much you mean/meant to me. i no longer feel the need to hear what you have to say. i no longer feel the urge to fix things or try to make sense of things. (ayaw mo naman din, diba?) we can live without knowing or saying all those things.

right now, i am thinking that the next time i see you, walang hard feelings. i wont be bitter, angsty, sad, or whatever. i will simply be your classmate. just another flower in the bunch... i wont text you, unless its important. (but i cannot delete your msgs from my phone yet.. although its got 2000+ msgs in the inbox already.) i refuse to be affected by your mere presence. (but of course, i wont pretend ur non-existent, coz that's stupid, silly and just... uhm.. dumb.) i'll talk to you like i talk to all the other classmates. i'll pretend "the summer" never happened, to avoid awkward moments. but i cant be so nice to you anymore... or at least i'll try. (mabait din naman talga ako eh. haha!)

kaya ni bai! :)

ive been holding on to something that you've been letting go of for some time now and its taking its toll on me. i am coming to terms with the fact that you did not value me as much as i did/do you... i think it all boils down to that. i dont need to say more. i wont.

im going to move on. im letting you go. i will not need to hear it from you anymore.


love and peace!
ciao!


*************************************
i was right. yung first of september kiss,
na wala tayong sinabi sa isa't isa before and after-
i just knew that that was
the last time i get to kiss you.
i felt the fear right then and there.
i felt like i was going to cry, halfway.
but i dont think u noticed.
it was one of the best, by the way. :)

i feel so tired making sense of things.

i was at mcdo last thursday night. i was eating alone and concentrating on my food coz i did not have the appetite to consume anything, but i had to eat. then, something bright orange caught my eye so i looked up and realized that this girl who just passed by was wearing bright/neon orange skinny jeans... perfect! she seemed perfectly happy in her orange pants.. smiling and talking to her guy friend. and then i thought:

1. dili ko karelate sa iyang happines.
2. dili ko karelate sa iyang pants! haha!

so nainterupt ang akong paglangoy-langoy sa akong self-absorbed muni-muni...

i looked around the place. and i realied na dili ko karelate sa mga tao. i felt like i was a foreigner, or an alien. i could not identify myself with the rest of them.. tao man unta sila...

whew!

1. Ganahan ko kay im with my TM batchmates at bigbys. I like spending time with them. they will always be special to me.

2. Hadlok diay maglet go. Pero di ko pwede ipagpilitan sarili ko sa ayaw diba? Tsaka ayoko maging pabigat sau. Tsaka parang nag let go ka na rin naman eh.. So sige. Ill let u go nalang.. Kaya ko toh!!! haha

kapuuuy! :)

maybe this loving thing is not for me... i think i was better off just being igat... i think i should just go back to my old malandi self. its funner that way. hehe:) do i sound bitter? sheesh! i hope not. i'm just tired. this is the first morning that my eyes have not produced water. my ghed! mukha na akong tarsier! may eyebags na akong mas malaki pa sa eyebags ni shawie! haha! at di ko na pinipili kung saan ako nagpoproduce water! sa church, sa taxi (parang music video), at di ko na alam... im tired. he knows how much it affects me, or how important "knowing" is to me... i kinda begged for it na nga eh kay i'm tired. pero wala. nagfacebook pa siya! hahaha! isa ra man kaminuto magtxt uie.. haay. bahala na. kapoy na isisp. kapoy na hilak. kapoy na magkaroon ug ingon-aning relationships with other people. di na muna. daghan pa ko dapat problemahon.

wheatus - little respect

I tried to discover a little something to make me sweeter
Oh baby refrain from breaking my heart
Im so in love with you
Ill be forever blue
That you give me no reason you know youre making me work so hard
That you give me no soul
I hear you calling
Oh baby please give a little respect to me

And if I should falter would you open your arms out to me
We can make love not war and live in peace with our hearts
Im so in love with you Ill be forever blue
What religion or reason could drive a man to forsake his lover
Dont you tell me no soul
I hear you calling
Oh baby please give a little respect to me

Im so in love with you
Ill be forever blue
That you give me no reason
You know youre making me work so hard
That you give me no soul
I hear you calling
Oh baby please give a little respect to me
Oh baby please give a little respect to me

i tried to discover--

**WARNING: EMO POST!!!**

"and if i should falter, would you open your arms out to me?"

i love this line from little respect by wheatus.. i cant help but relate to it..
the song starts with "i tried to discover a little something to make me sweeter"
when started hanging out last summer, i was just looking for a cure to summer boredom... somthing hot but cool, and spicy and sweet all at the same time. when i started to feel something funny i let myself indulge and i decided to let myself like you... like you very much, actually.. with that, i was hoping to discover something to make me better, to have a new insightful experience, to make life sweeter... by and by i became acquainted feeling like compassion, care, kindness, selflessness, among other things... in a manner that i would not have known had i not allowed myself to get close to another human being. they would have been mere concepts to me, were it not for you. i also discovered many things about myself like my capacity, my patience, my tolerance, my imaturity because of you.

i found myself giving much of myself to you and to what we had.. i thought i was super lazy, but then when it came to the concept of u and i, i sometimes found myself tired but not willing to stop. i found myself willing to make some sacrifices or do things which i thought i was incapable of sacrificing or doing. but then, all that would still not have been sufficient to keep you. i found myself immature and that i have much to learn. i have much growing up to do. my inability to respond to you properly, or my ignorance would always burden you or cause some amount of misunderstanding... and everytime i faltered, you opened your arms out to me.

but you do not really need me in ur life right now.. but even though that was the case, you stuck around with me.. but i kept falling short of your expectations.. and you could not really afford to carry around the baggage from those misundertandings anymore.. and without me, there would be a lot less to worry about or to be stressed out about.. and there is nothing i can do if you no longer want to be with me.

you gave up on me.. and honestly, that hurts. i do not emotionally invest in people jut like that. and you just go away without saying goodbye? was i that bad that i do not even deserve a little respect? even a gesture of common courtesy like saying goodbye? do i not deserve that, at least? (i can not yet talk about it, unless i want the floodgates to open. :)

too bad, what we had was not reduced into wrting or to anything official. we created a world and in it was just u and i. nobody knew what it was... what we had. we had a secret and it was ours, just between u and i.

too bad we were not invincible.. for a second there, i thought we were..

anyway, i am sorry. i am sorry for all the trouble i caused.. for the inconvenience, the hassle, the demands, the stress.. for taking up your time, energy, money and whatever... i am sorry if i failed you. i am sorry for so many things but personally, i am not sorry for letting myself emotionally invest in you. i am just sorry to drag you into the mess that is me.

i wish for all the best things and adventures that the world has to offer and i wish you get the best and the most out of life. i hope you reach your dreams. i wish you success, in every sense of the word. always know that i shall always deeply care about you.


****************************
peace and love to all.

and please do not share this link, nor let anyone else who does not know about this blog know about the contents of this post. i just had to write down what kept flowing out.. and i had to sort out a few things. i apologize for all the mush, if nagtiis kang basahin till the end.

blah.

i never thought i would be felling what i did just a little over a month ago... last month, although the offense was somewhat grave, i had confidence that i could still have you back. this time, although the offense is less grave, i am not quite confident that i can still win you over.

patience is a BEERtue.

geez. over the past few days i realized:

1. mugawas akong pagka batang-gamay or akong pagka *ehem* brat when i want something and i cant get it. once i acknowledge the want, i need to have what i want. pronto! otherwise, maglangi, magyawyaw, magdrama.. echos.

2. i am becoming demanding. and i need to remember that i dont have the right to demand or expect anything. dili ko in a relationship.

3. what i ask, God provides. but in his time.. i need to be patient. i need to trust that it will happen, sooner or later, one way or another.

4. i need to learn how to chill... be more stoic and a lot less consumed or fixated on something. i need to remind myself that the conclusion i formulated when i was most passionate about the issue is not always accurate.

5. a man can make me happy, but my happiness does not depend on him entirely..

wee! nastress out ko for the past few days. nabuang kog kalit. i feel like im back to my old self again. happier and with a refreshed outlook. hehe:)

peace and love!
ciao!

*************************

i just got home from his pamangkin's bday party. i got to chat with his mom, ate and their super close family friend. hotseat. and i got the sense na parang i was'nt quite "the classmate lang" this time.. hmm.. m not gonna overthink this. haha!

mad bitch disease

so i asked you how u were. n u said u were fine. but then u asked if i was mad at you. i said no. i was not mad. if i was not myself it was because i was feeling a mixture of these feelings: frustrated, doubtful, sad, kinda lonely and missing u very badly. i assured u i was not mad, and added that "if there is anything wrong with me, it would be rooted on the fact that i miss you very badly. pero ok lang, ganun naman talaga. hehe"

because i do! damnit! i have been tryin sooo hard not t feel it or to acknowledge it, but now i give up... i'm telling you, i miss you. i was trying to train myself na hindi ka na itxt as much or bawasan yung paglambing or pag express ko ng care. i have been trying to prepare myself for something like "the end" kasi u have been out of it or off lately. basically, i excerted less effort and now you think i am mad at you. im not. im mainly frustrated kasi i miss you and you are not doing anything about it. gusto ko sana mageffort ka konti. i want you to want to be with me. i know i cannot ask you for it. i cannot bring myself to ask you. i just really want you to want it for yourself. but maybe you dont... you no longer do.

you did not even reply to my lengthy txt which had a couple of pakyoot jokes in it. you could not even bring yourself to say you miss me.

then why the F@#$ do you care if im mad at you?! amiw. *now im mad*

peace and love!
ciao!